Question:
How can I get help for my sister who is suffering with obesity??

Please AMOS Family, HELP me to get help for my sister!! If you will permit me to share a message she sent me. To protect her privacy and identity, I'll just call her "Lynne". I had written her and this is her response I received today: "Thank you for responding. I have so much to say on the order of health and weight. I do know that "diets" don't work. Like you, I've tried the pills, drinks, gadgets, and the so-called "diet plans". I had no idea I would have this problem so late in my adult life. It's very depressing sometimes. I see pictures of myself when I was younger and wish I were that size again. I'm told that I don't weigh enough for the bariatric program. I don't buy any clothes anymore because I'm so hard to fit now. I'm too big for some things, yet not large enough for other clothes which look like they're too big. I'm very proud of you and the difficult choice you've made. Also proud of your success. I have found that just buying the "proper" foods for ME to eat gets to be somewhat expensive when it comes to buying different things for the family. I have no problem cooking MY foods properly at all. Maybe what I need is a "buddy", if you will, to help, counsel, and encourage me. (You know what I mean?) RIght now, I have NO will power at all. You know like when the holidays come? African Americans tend to eat all the fattening foods they can, which is all we grew up on. They don't digest well with me and I still eat them (the fattening foods). I've decided to stop eating THEM. Diyah, I REALLY NEED HELP!!! LOVE, "Lynne" My sister means a LOT to me, and I want to help her to get help! As mentioned in her response, she says she was told that she did not weigh enough to be considered. According to the BMI calculator on our website here, she is SEVERLY OBESE at 5'2" and currently weighs 196 (and it's increasing on a daily basis). I wonder what kind of nincompoop she has for a PCP? I know for a fact that we have some hefty medical *issues* in our family and it would mean SO MUCH to me if you all will give your comments, suggestions or any help possible or whatever...PLEASE HELP!! I'm desperate for her!!Thanks and love to you ALL, it's because of the Lord, this website and ALL OF YOU, that I have had the success I've had thus far~~~Diyah~~    — yourdivaness (posted on January 23, 2003)

January 23, 2003
Hi, I know too well where your sister is in her thoughts. When I first became obese. I went years without being in touch with myself, I didn't see myself as obese, I was big boned, a large women. I refused to buy plus size clothing even squeezing my breast in ill fitting bras. I stopped looking at my body when I was nake. The denial went further, I didn't own a scale and went to the doctor only when I was very sick. Always dreading the scale because it didn't want to acknowledge what happened to my body. One day I was laying on the bed using a hanger to zip my jeans, by the way two sizes too small. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my 2 yr old look at me like I was crazy. I threw the jeans away went to a department store and couldn't wear anything in the junior department anymore. It was at that moment the mental image of myself faded and the real current self came into focus. I am sharing this painful period of my life because it's hard to reach that authetic image. Buried so deeply. Too often, treating obesity is not a priority with PCP. They seem to focus on treating co morbids, high blood pressure, diabetes etc rather on the prevention of obesity. Share this site with your sister. My best friend is MO like me and has resigned herself to being MO because she doesn't see WLS as an option for her. I don't know if this helps. You are both are in my prayers. Coming to terms with morbid obesity has been a painful journey for me.
   — Charisse F.

January 23, 2003
To qualify for bariatric surgery you minimally should be 100pounds over weight, that nincompoop was correct- your sister's ideal weght would be 96 pounds! Maybe you can encourage her to follow weight watchers or Atkins. Of she lives close by maybe you could go for walks together- things are easeir with a partner!
   — ~~Stacie~~

January 23, 2003
If her weight is really going up that fast she needs to see someone to find out why. Sounds like a medical condition, not just an eating problem. She'll have to do this anyhow before anyone will consider WLS for her. Also her PCP is probably going by the "you must be 100 pounds or more overweight" to be considered a candidate for this surgery. Not all insurance companies use the BMI system, not all docs are familiar with that aspect or WLS in general. If her doc is going by that "100 pounds overweight" rule and she were to lose 100 lbs she'd only weigh 96 pounds. You can see where her doc is coming from looking at it in that way. Giving her some really hard facts about WLS, explaining how the BMI works, and introducing her to this site might really help her (and maybe her doc too). I hope things work out for you and your sister.
   — Shelly S.

January 23, 2003
Well I would have her see a WLS in her area. Lots of good choices here. Let them evauate her. My surgeon does bmis over 35 with co morbidities Some folks to qualify weight wise wear heavy clothes, eat a huge eal right before the apointment, dont stand up straight when getting measured and even carry rolls of quarters in their pockets. Shrinking a inch or two when getting your height checked really helps. Besides most of us shrink as we age. Tell her to wear heels to the appointment thus guaranteeing getting height checked in bare feet. Ever little bit helps! To get a new supportive PCP ask here. Theres a ikely post op in her area who would gladly sare a name of a PCP, or ask her perspective surgeon. I think EVERY surgeon should run a support group thats probably a good first step. Get her to go and see whats up. Of course she can attend this on line group from the comfort of her home and ask questions too. Old meetings are archived as well. Hey the december meeting even mentions me:) <P> http://www.upmc.edu/obesitysurgery/monthlySupportGroup.htm
   — bob-haller

January 23, 2003
I just ran her BMI. At 5 feet zero inces 205 pounds her BMI is 40. Now most of us stretch to be taller when getting height checked. And 205 is easily doable with clothes etc. So your all set. Encourage her to join us here, WLS is NOTHING to be ashamed of!
   — bob-haller

January 24, 2003
Maybe finding another PCP who is more responsive to Lynne's needs and concerns is a start. Good Luck and God BLess Anne Kirby
   — Aynikaye

January 30, 2003
Hello everyone! Original poster here to say thanks for the response to my post. I've sent htis information to my sister, "Lynne" who also says thank you. She sends a *smiley face* to Bob Haller for "the quarters in the pocket" LOL. Thanks to all. She told me she was going to sign out as a member. I told her that the AMOS Family is always looking out for each other.
   — yourdivaness

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