Question:
Has the idea of a single's or personal board ever came up?:)
Hi all! I was just wondering if I was the only one who thought it might be neat to have a "meeting place" for singles here? I use to go to the BBW sites, but you go there, and everybody there wants you to STAY fat. You go to other sites, and your too fat for now. And while guys are looking these days I find myself too paranoid to look back. Come on, though I look not so bad with my clothes on, I'd scare them off if they knew what lies beneath.:) On this site at least everybody knows whats going on, what to expect, etc. No unpleasant surprises! I plan on getting reconstructive surgery this spring, if insurance provides, but for now my thighs are horrendous, breast, yuk, and so is the rest of my body. Don't get me wrong, I thank God for this awesome life changing surgery every day. And my self esteem for the most part has gone way, way up. I feel human these days. But I feel like if I went out with a guy and actually started a relationship with him someday, then he'd freak out. If I tell them before hand that makes you sound awful, especially when they don't understandd. I have a couple of guys who flirt with me now and I know that they are getting mixed signals from me. I'm AFRAID to go out with them. Its not like I'm gonna hop into bed with them, but who knows what the future holds. I haven't had a date since my almost 5 year old son was an infant, and unless I stop being so uptight about things, I don't see things changing! I'd love to hear some advice, thoughts, or just another "yeah, I feel that way too!" comment. Bye, Christy — Christy B. (posted on August 28, 2001)
August 28, 2001
I think a singles board is a great idea also. It would be nice to meet
people who have been through the same thing you have and understands where
you are coming from. I think it is a good idea.
— [Anonymous]
August 28, 2001
I think this is a good idea. I would like to meet someone who understand
what I am going through and what I have gone through to lose weight. And
as you said, it would nice to meet someone who would understand the extra
skin issue.
— [Anonymous]
August 28, 2001
I have a solution for the dilemma of "though I look not so bad with my
clothes on, I'd scare them off if they knew what lies beneath". My
solution is that I don't take my clothes off with someone who doesn't
already love me enough to be able to withstand the sight of me with my
clothes off. Mind you, I am not necessarily talking fat here, but simply
the effects that gravity has on a 43 year old body. I am no playboy bunny,
but I am soft, warm and receptive. all of which I don't intend to share
with my clothes off until I have established a firm friendship and profound
love. But that is what works for me, feel free to try whatever works for
you.
— merri B.
August 28, 2001
I would just like to share that I have the very same fear expressed on this
board. Clothed, I'm ok, but naked would frighten a hairless rat. I would
love to see a personals section that features people who have had this
surgery.
— Darren B.
August 29, 2001
GREAT IDEA! I also haven't had a date in almost 5 years due to low self
esteem, depression, etc. Once I get the surgery done, it would be nice to
meet someone who understands and who would also be eating the same way.
— Jean B.
August 29, 2001
Sounds great to me. I've never been too, too uncomfortable getting
"romantic" with a guy despite my 300lbs. It's not like I was
going to be beautiful without clothes on, if I am obviously this big with
clothes on. In other words, I figured they knew what they were going to get
when they "unwrapped" me. Oddly, I am more afraid of what men
will think of my body after I've lost weight and I have unforseen stretch
marked skin hanging off of me. Kinda scary. Meeting people sensitive to
this would be wonderful!
— [Anonymous]
August 29, 2001
I don't like the 'singles board' idea. I'm sick of being approached (hit
on) when I am on other sites doing something unrelated to 'singles/meeting'
type activities. It's very annoying to be playing backgammon (which I like
to do but it is really everywhere now, on all sites), and my concentration
is interrupted by a "clever" (not!) message from some
hopeful/horney looking for cyber sex. Please let's not do anything that is
going to encourage that kind of activity here. Please do it somewhere
else.
— Anne G.
August 29, 2001
It sounds good to me. I'm 32. When I was very young and thin I was to shy
and once I was older and more outgoing I was too self-concious about my fat
to try dating. When I'm done losing my weight (1/2 way there) I'm going to
have alot of years to make up for. It would be nice to meet med who
already understand what I've been through.
— [Anonymous]
August 29, 2001
Sounds like a wonderful idea, I would love to help get this started..Anyone
with any ideas, please let me know, lets work together on this!! It would
be totally great to meet men that understand what we have/and ar going
through and that we will never be "Barbie" dolls. Thanks for a
great idea!!
— Donna S.
August 29, 2001
Sounds great to me as well. Even though I've been doing a lot of dating it
sure would save time in the "explanation" department! :)
— Lori_B
August 29, 2001
Yes, I agree with the majority. A good idea. I would hope, though, that it
wouldn't be all women and would cover many age groups.
— Andrea S.
August 29, 2001
I think that you have a good idea. For one, alot of women need to learn
that they are respected and valuable people. WLS men understand that. And
I am sure that some of the men could use a little self esteem boost also.
I am in favor of men/women friends too. Lets hear from some of the men. I
know the women will go for it. Mary in NC
— Mary W.
August 29, 2001
What do you think the ratio of women to men would be? 99:1?
— [Anonymous]
August 29, 2001
I think it's a great idea! Bring on the men! Where do I sign up?? :-)
— Jennifer E.
October 29, 2001
I think this is a good idea, too. Until this develops, one can always use
the search peers function and look through profiles for pictures and
marital status of other members. Just be careful, even though another
person shares your wls journey and can empathize with what you have been
through, they can still be deceptive about who they are/what they want, and
haven't we all here been broken-hearted enough?
— [Anonymous]
May 7, 2003
i have ask the very same thing on here , i would love to see one happen ,
no explaining to men they already know and accept u , some one put it
together please
— mslinda_dreams
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