Question:
How do I get motivate to reach my goal?
I will be 1yr post-op on 8/20 from lap rny. I started out 426 and as of last week weighed 290. The actual weight loss number sounds fine (-136) but I am seeing my family next week and I feel like such a failure because I thought I would look different. Not skinny, just not still sooo fat. The last time I saw them was 1/04 and had lost 80lbs. The worst part is that my eating is out of control and it seems like it's getting worse. I go to the gym and work out with a training 2x a week but still go home and eat junk food. This surgery is something I worked on for over 2 yrs and I feel like I am throwing this gift away. I'm already seeing a psychologist for binge eating/bulimia and am on Lexapro for depression. I guess I just need to hear from those who were at this point and how they broke free and got back on track. Thanks in advance for the support. Vesta — vesta D. (posted on August 12, 2004)
August 12, 2004
I would exercise everyday and not worry so much about food right now. You
have the tool for life. Daily exercise makes you want to eat better.
Every time you want junk food, eat a piece of gum. The breath freshening
kind, not bubble gum. Also you need to have a hobby to replace food. I
joined a softball team and started taking improv comedy classes again.
— mrsmyranow
August 12, 2004
Well, the recommendations from the exercise physiotherapist at my surgeon's
office is to do some form of aerobic exercise 6 days a week and 3-4 times a
week I am to do some form of weight resistance training. My aerobic
exercise is to be a minimum of 30-45 minutes with me getting my heart rate
up to the rate that she set for me of 120-145 beats a minutes. I am out
walking and getting that type of exercise in for a minimum of 5 days a
week. Sometimes life just gets in the way and I cannot get out and walk all
6 days. I manage to also do my weight training a minmum of 2-3 times a
week.
You just have to set your mind to the fact of staying away from your
cravings for junk food after you come home from the gym. I found a ways
back that the first day staying away from the junk was the hardest then it
became easy after that and I did not crave the junk anymore. You have
worked too hard so far. I would recommend that you up your exercise and get
your eating under control and you will see the #s will shed off of you. You
are not going to be able to loose much weight before you see your family
next week but you can start to do something about your out of control
eating.
— ChristineB
August 12, 2004
You have done a wonderful job even though right now things seem out of
control. Hang in there and keep of the exercize that's so important. My
weight loss slowed too and I began to feel the same way, no matter how bad
you feel you are doing okay... you are not a failure. You are taking very
good steps like taking your meds, talking to a professional..you are taking
care of yourself. I am still 80lbs overweight by chart and I am down 135.
If you are like me---its not connecting how much weight you have really
lost. We can do it just keep trying and drink water and stay away from
refined sugar. I keep hearing dont deprive yourself, these people have no
idea how an eating binge can start. Good luck to you.
— debmi
August 13, 2004
Vesta, you have done a WONDERFUL job! Congratulate yourself, revel in your
success, celebrate yourself!!! Currently you're having a hard time - well,
where's the surprise in that? We didn't qualify for surgery because we
made excellent food choices and trained for the Olympics! This tool is for
life - yes, we can eat around it, and yes, we can lie around not moving our
bodies and be general messes. But you're not doing that! You've still got
re-plumbed insides and you're working very hard to get yourself back on
track mentally and physically. That's tremendous - and you can succeed!!!!
Look at what you're doing - you're seeing a therapist, working hard to get
over your depression (a DISEASE, not a fault), and you're working out.
You're giving yourself more tools to succeed. Build on your success -
don't get bogged down feeling like a failure - you're anything but. You're
on the road to regaining your health. We've had a lifetime of beating
ourselves up over weight - and that leads to true defeat.
Be proud of yourself Vesta - you've earned it in spades!
And enjoy seeing your family! Good luck to you in your marvelous journey -
Bette
— [Deactivated Member]
August 13, 2004
I second everyone else's opinion here. However, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
This is only a tool and if your eating is out of control and everything
else you are doing "right", can you answer my question? Stress
and depression I understand and I know how you feel, but how bad do you
want it? Just keep asking yourself that each time you start to eat out of
control. Do you want to soothe the stress and depression with that bite of
food, and the next and the next and the next and ..... or do you want to be
who you really want to be? You are in control. You can do it!!!!
— Megan *.
August 13, 2004
I appreciate all the responses and support.
Megan, I think that's part of my problem. Sometimes I feel like I don't
really want to loose the weight. I want to stay fat because that's what I
know. I KNOW that sounds stupid but I've been fighting against prejudice
my whole life as an morbid obese person. Now I feel like people are
looking at me waiting for me to get to this great "achievement"
of not being fat. I can't handle that part either and that's what leaves
me feeling like a failure. Even if I loose another 100 pounds, how long
will it take me to get there?? And in the meantime, I will still be fat.
That thought outweights any percieved success. Vesta
— vesta D.
August 13, 2004
Vesta, from your last comments, I think its a good thing that you are
seeing a psychologist. These feelings you are having of remaining fat
because its all you know and feeling like a failure are all issues that the
psychologist can help you with. Please leave yourself open to their help.
My intial response after reading your question was to say that if you come
home from the gym and eat junk food, why do you have junk food in the
house? Get rid of all the bad crap and fill the house with easy to reach
for good stuff like cut up veggies with lo-cal dips, cheese and crackers,
protein bars etc. Make a yummy protein shake and use as a reward for
working out-you can really dress them up. for instance, in the blender add
1 scoop of vanilla protein powder, handful of ice and about 8 oz of water,
1/2 banana, couple of frozen strawberries or blueberries, some sweetener,
vanilla, few tablespoons of no fat yogurt and blend. YUM..or try chocolate
powder, water and ice, sweetener,and add 1/2 a banana or try chocolate
powder with a tablespoon of peanut butter in the blender. And best of all,
if you make yourself a protein shake instead of reaching for junk food, you
will feel better about yourself knowing that you have done something good
for you instead of guilty because you ate junk. Vesta, we cannot change
your behavior for you nor make you want to like yourself or take pride in
yourself. You have to do that for yourself. Look at it as working towards
regaining health and not to get skinny. Don't concern yourself over what
others think of you-its what you think of you. You can do this, and we'll
be here cheering you on.
— Cindy R.
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