Question:
Back to old eating habits.....
I'm getting ready to celebrate 1 year post-op RNY on April 1. I weighed 260 and am now 153. I've seen 149 but not for long. I had a lower body lift 3 months ago. I'm not sure what caused me to revert to my old eating habits but this last week has been horrible. I don't dump. I can't eat a lot at one sitting but find I'm eating all day long. If I feel queasy from eating sugar, I wait until it passes and then I eat another cookie. I think you get the idea! I was on top of the world and now I am so disappointed in myself and feel depressed daily as every night I pray to make a 'new beginning' tomorrow and every day I fail.... just like I did for 30+ years on every diet in the book. I need to hear from all those familiar names I read every day on this website. Please give me your opinion and experiences on how to turn this around before it's too late. You can see how far I've come in my photos. I can't thank you enough for the advice and pep-talk. — Vicki S. (posted on March 12, 2004)
March 12, 2004
Hi, Vicki. I have days like you are describing. They are horrible and
scare the death out of me. I'm so afraid on these days I will just keep on
going until all the weight comes back. I teeter 5 lbs back and forth. I
am working out and eating protein first and drinking my water and taking my
vitamins. I just have those grazing days that are so upseting. And I can
really get into the cookie binge. Being diet 'experts' we know how to
combat these days. But like you, I try it all and still the eating wins
out. Then all of a sudden it subsides and I drop a few pounds and I'm back
on top of the world. I sure love to eat. Always have and always will. I
just keep on TRYING. I had my open RYN surgery 16 months ago and I have
lost a total of 240 pounds.
I guess my advice would be to keep the output (exercise) higher than the
input (calories). Good luck and try not to dispair.
— Ginger M.
March 12, 2004
You know I have days (sometimes a week) when it seems like I am eating all
day, but I noticed that it does go away. Sometimes it scares me how much I
can eat, but then I have to say to myself. This is still less then what a
normal person my size should be able to eat. Sometimes, when I have food
that I find myself going back to constantly, I find the best thing to do is
to throw it away. I say to myself, if I go back to get more of that, I'm
just going to throw it away. One of the hardest things for me is if I go
out and buy a dinner and then eat what I can and refridgerate the rest. As
soon as I can eat again, I'll go back for the rest (this might be 1/2
hour). I'm fine. Not hungry, but just the thought that food that I like
is there will make me want to eat it. The best thing for me to do in cases
like that is to throw it away when I am initially full. I also found it's
much easier to throw it away when I'm full. Yes, this may seem like a
waste of money, but so is regaining weight after all the money I put into
plastic surgery! Best of luck to you!
— Lisa N M.
March 12, 2004
I have been dealing with the same thing too. As a matter of fact, I had a
belt lipectomy about two months ago, and had started falling back into bad
eating habits afterward. Fortunately, I talked to my doctor's nurse on
Monday (get this - I called to ask her if I could start taking Hydroxycut
to keep the hungries away!) and she started asking me questions about my
eating habits. She was very supportive, but quickly made me realize that I
am STILL a gastric bypass patient - it's not like it's something just in my
past. She said to get back on to the protein first, exercise daily, and 5
-6 small meals daily. Really, I think it was just the conversation with
her that kindof jolted me back to reality. I too had started eating sugar
again, specifically in the form of Krispy Kreme donuts. And I too would
wait for the queasy feeling to subside, and then eat sugar again! I have
found the easiest thing to do is cut it out completely. I have no control
when it comes to sugar, so I have to avoid it totally. I can relate to you
saying every night you will have a new beginning tomorrow. But once I made
my decision to get back to postop basics, I felt much better emotionally
and physically.
I also see a therapist for my eating disorder - compulsive overeating.
— raye
March 12, 2004
I have been going through the same thing and also have posted on here with
the same topic not too long ago. My diet throughout the day now is all
carbs and sugars. I did gain about 10lbs and now dropped a few and am
stable no matter what I eat, so now im just like what ever and eat what I
want b/c it's not changing anything and im enjoying what I eat, but then
again, im waiting for it to backfire on me and I know I will soon start
slowly gaining weight. I actually want to lose 10-15lbs more and it wont
happen unless I "diet" all over again. Everyone told me to just
go back to the pouch rules and this was not a miracle to fix our head. I
love food! Good luck to you! 267/134/140
— Sandy M.
March 12, 2004
Vicki - Quite frankly I think that you have stated what most of fear - and
correctly so. That darn grazing and denial is definitely what put me to
335+ pounds. I have had a few days when I felt like I was eating the ENTIRE
day - that may be a slight exaggeration, but not much of one! My fears are
huge, but I also try to force myself into a reality check. I MAKE myself
put EVERYTHING into fitday.com so that I KNOW what I ate and how many
calories that I consumed. Sometimes it isn't as bad as what I thought and
sometimes it is worse. The important thing for me is that I am 'owning'
what I did - no more denial. I am a food 'sneak' and that is one heck of a
dangerous thing. It also makes me feel about 12 and very ineffectual as a
rational adult. As a previous poster stated, 'Throw it out!'. I have had to
do that as well. Believe me, it shouldn't hurt to throw away a box of
crackers or a pasta dish, but I am addicted to food, so....it hurts! But I
repeatedly tell myself, "I am worth it. It is ONLY food". I
continue to read my addiction books and have started these past few months
to take recipes and make them lower in fat and sugar. I find that if I have
a serving of something 'sinful', but one that I have made and customized to
my standards of lofat/losugar, then I have a better attitude for everything
else. Some people will not be able to do this, the temptation to eat more
than what they should will still be there. But I have had this surgery for
better health, not just weight loss. I'm incorporating a lifestyle change
into all of my eating and cooking. I have not gone the route of protein
drinks or sugar free chemicals. I do not want to diet. I want to eat what
is good for me. I do the good/better/best approach to food and it is
working well for me -- on most days. I tend to think that most of us,
especially women, have 1 or 2 days in a month that munchies are ruling us!
I'm tracking of fitday.com to see if I have a monthly pattern. I could then
prepare ahead of time to not have trigger foods around. I wish there was a
magic pill - doesn't everyone? I also wish this surgery was magic and while
it is WONDERFUL, it certainly isn't magic. Best of luck to you. Find a
support group. Do some reading. Try to find protein that really appeals to
you and have that dominate your frig. Drink more herbal tea (no caffeine) -
for some crazy reason this often helps me. I wish all of us luck.
335/193/???
— Jodie P.
March 13, 2004
Vicki, this happens to a lot of us, including me. My approach to it is to
remind myself that obesity is a disease, and recurrence happens even before
the scale tells us so. It recurs when we lose food control the way you
have (as I have, more than once), when we are just POSSESSED by food the
way we used to be, and know how to eat around the pouch (not so hard to do
anymore).<P>When this happens, I cut out all the sugary/junky carbs
-- turn to my protein shakes -- and allow myself only to eat protein foods
or protein shakes for a few days. Kinda like a "detox." That
way, I can beat myself up about the constant food cravings without actually
eating while doing it.<P>Then, slowly, go back to a normal eating
routine (but no treats for awhile). Then, switch to different treats than
you were eating before, only when you know you can handle
them.<P>Just figure out how to push your obesity back into remission
again. Treat it like a disease, not a failed diet, to help get your head
into a different place. It helps. ;-)
— Suzy C.
March 13, 2004
I second the carb detox. It's an addiction, and you (and I too... lots of
times!) have to get back on the wagon. One extra suggestion that I have
for the detox.... for me, I make the goal getting through three days
without carbs no matter how much protein I have to eat to do it. The
amount doesn't matter, just that it's pure protein. I'll graze on protein
for those three days if I have to...and that is the only thing that works
to get me through the three day detox and off the carb wheel. Good luck.
— mom2jtx3
March 13, 2004
I totally agree with what the last poster said. When I am detoxing from
carbs, I allow myself all the protein (and, of course, water) I want &
it really helps. By the way, have any of you gotten involved with OA? It
can be very helpful.
— Suzanna M.
March 14, 2004
You know, I have a bit of a different take than the others who
"detox". As a pre-op, who lived on sugar and carbs in large
amounts, as I gained, I felt guilt and stress and anxiety and then
depression, but still turned to more sugar and carbs to assuage the guilt
and of course, fell into the vicious circle of weight gain/lose a few/gain
more. I made the decision to try to get rid of, or control, those
emotions. Guilt over eating is such an unnecessary bit of baggage to carry
around with us. Its self-destructive and demoralizing. I decided to come
up with a plan. I knew that I did not want to give up sugar,and food had
always been such a pleasure for me. Why not learn to incorporate my sweet
treats and maintain my weight loss? Its still an experiment for me, and I
occasionally gain a few here and there but its working at 2 plus years
post-op. But I had to make some choices-cannot have pizza, candy and french
fries in the same day... So what I do is ensure that I eat good protein at
every meal, things like scrambled eggs for breakfast (no toast), grilled or
deli meats over salad for lunch, protein shakes,fruit and protein bars for
snacks during the day..and at night while watching tv, I allow myself my
M+Ms, mini-cookies, popcorn etc...AND most importantly, I keep up the 3-4
times a week of heart pumping cardio. So I made myself a deal-eat well
during the day (yeah, sometimes I will have that 1/2 a donut or 1/2 a bagel
at work or small slice of birthday cake..), keep up the exercise, and you
can have your sweet treats at night. If I go to a restaurant, yes, I order
a healthy meal and eat 1/3 or a 1/2 of it concentrating on the protein,
then I order a dessert but only allow myself to eat 1/3 or so of it. AND I
weigh daily. If I gain a few pounds, I up the exercise, and lower the # of
sweet treats a day. No guilt and so far it is working. I am happier and
maintaining. What you need to do is find what works for you. For some,
like Suzy C, its detoxing from all carbs and sugars until you regain
control. For others, its tracking every calorie on Fitday-I do not count
calories at all. Others lean on their support groups.. and still others
have to keep the sweets out of the house totally. The point is to have a
plan. There is a real fear of regain and many post-ops do regain. But with
a good plan, it does not have to be you. Experiment until you find what
works for you.
— Cindy R.
March 14, 2004
What a lot of great advice.. and it seems we all approach this in different
ways.. I've always been a fan of DO what WORKS for you... sometimes the
idea of going back to a DIET is really hard.. but the fact is.. while I'm
pretty good about food, or I was my first 1.5 years.. I do experiment more
and more these days with what I can eat. I'm a real person and I like real
food.. and protein drinks. I'm somewhere between the detoxers and Cindy...
*grin* ... M&Ms are good and I don't want to never have one again.. so
like Cindy.. set limits.. if have my morning protein drink.. i can relax
a little during the day. Its about trade offs.. and deciding what's
important to you. For me? The size ten clothing is important to me... not
a whole pound of M&Ms... just a few of them. I do stay away from sugar
though, as much as possible, I dump... its not fun. Good luck ... maybe
just try a few of the things folks have mentioned? Or you could go work on
what's making you eat... as they say -- the surgery was on your stomach,
not your head (or heart for that matter).
— Lisa C.
March 14, 2004
One more thing.. since this post is about grazing... what do I do about
that? Well, some days... I graze.. its a fact of life.. but I try to stop
myself.. and if I've grazed all day -- then at 5pm.. I STOP eating.. no
more... other ways I stop it -- change what I'm doing.. go out, go
shopping, go walking, running... anything but staying in the place that
you're grazing. As someone else mentioned, I do throw things out -- which
is hard for me -- wasting food. But I've flushed so much stuff, put it in
the garbage disposal -- or walked outside to the garbage to take things
out. Works for me. good luck!
— Lisa C.
March 15, 2004
I've been so close to posting my own "I need some kind words of
support" item, but I've been "living off of" others' posts
like this. My surgery was 7/10/03 (and 7/14, I got a bonus!) and I was
5'10" 282.5. On 1/1/04 I was 201.15. As of Thursday last week 3/11 I
weighed 193.5. That's down 8 pounds in two and a half months. Basically
my weight loss skidded to a halt ofter the holidays. Yes, I am still down
89 pounds, which is great. I wear a 16 and shop in regular size stores for
the FIRST TIME in my 35 years. I weigh less than when I graduated high
school (if my memory serves) and back then I shopped plus size stores and I
think I was a size 18W or 20W. I don't remember. Anyway, yes I've come so
far, but I do have further to go. I'd like to hit 160 on my one-year
anniversary and if I up it to two pounds a week, I can. Starting to
exercise will help. But part of it for me has been sweets/treats/learning
how to get around the pouch. Want more of my dinner, well, just sip a
little water or eat then wait and eat again. Bad bad bad. At least I am
aware. I use several techniques to keep me honest, one of which is logging
everything I eat on an excel chart I made. And I am honest about that, I
mean, there is no one sitting on my shoulder to watch me and call me on it,
so it is all up to me. It does help me to say hey you had enough today.
Or to not ignore that 100cal of butter I put into the sweet potato. Or the
brown sugar. I'm rambling. I did have a point. One thing I am going to
do to fight my grazing is to eat a fruit or veggie when I want to eat. I'm
going to go ahead and eat rather than obsess, and a fruit or vegetable in
the long run isn't going to hurt me. I have hard candies around or small
bite sized soft ones, and just two or three of those satisfies those
cravings rather than the whole snickers I used to eat. I chew/suck on the
calcium wafers in the afternoon when I want a snack too - that keeps my
mouth busy. And I rely on raisins sometimes, eat them one at a time
slowly. Chew off the ends, peel off the skin chew that, then chew the soft
middle. It keeps me busy and distracted and it is sweet. But you can't
have a whole lot. Anyway, you aren't alone, this is HARD and I think too
many people think it just solves all your problems because your tummy is
"stapled" (I hate that phrase!) and you can't eat. Right? Easy?
NO WAY. Good luck!
— Calleigh Q.
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