Question:
Do any of you post of WLS people feel like this?
I had surgery on April 3rd. I swore to myself I would do everything like I was adviced to do. Now I see myself slipping. I find that I am emotionally eating- picking at cheetos, chips and candy (when I can find some). I feel like I am losing control of the situation and feel like such a failure. I am too embarrassed to call my doctor. I just want to figure this out. My next appointment is Oct. 2nd. I will attend the support group meeting next week, maybe that will help. I have lost about 67#'s so far- but still feel like alot of my choices are going to sabatoge my success.Does anyone feel the same way? I guess I feel kinda alone in this and REALLY need some support. Is it possible I could be getting depressed and that is what could be doing this to me? Sorry this is long- any advice would be helpful. Thanks — Jan S. (posted on August 21, 2003)
August 21, 2003
Hi honey - welcome to my world! :) I had surgery on April 11th, and have
lost 62 lbs., so we're very close in terms of "stats". I, too,
can see myself slipping back into old ways, and the best advice I can offer
is "just get back on that proverbial horse". I am one of those
lucky few who ha not had one single episode of nausea, and I can eat
anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) I want, including sugar, fried foods, all
the no-nos. Mind you, I don't do it all the time, but I definitely tested
those waters. I will tell you that I don't feel as "peppy" when
I eat foods I'm not supposed to, but it's really dangerous to beat myself
up for too long, so like I said - just start fresh every day and you'll be
fine. I think there's a little part of me that's really just plain old
SCARED of being thin - so a little self-sabotage is to be expected. But
your stats are terrific, and so is your dedication to your support group,
so you'll be just fine. Feel free to e-mail me if you need more support!
We can be trudge buddies! :) All the best!
— momstah
August 21, 2003
Well, I have not had surgery, but I have lost 96 pounds in the last 17
months. No, 95 pounds. No, no, 93 pounds. No - well, you get the idea. I've
been self-sabotaging here lately, because I'm scared to lose 100 pounds.
Why? Because then I'll be a shockingly thin 285! Oh my God! /// I used to
think my self-sabotage was all about fear of attention from men and fear of
intimacy. And that's part of the problem, certainly. However, it also
scares me senseless to think about not being a compulsive eater anymore. As
I watch myself make real, genuine changes in my eating behavior, I start to
panic - who the hell is THIS woman? I fear that I am losing the essence of
myself. I'm 43 and I've had a destructive relationship with food all my
life. It's like my blue eyes and my loud laugh - it's me. I am Kim who
over-indulges at lunch and then thinks, "Well, today's shot, so why
don't I get a large meat-lover's pizza for supper tonight?" I am NOT
Kim who over-indulges at lunch and then has a light supper and takes a
walk. I don't even KNOW that woman. /// Change is scary - even change that
we really, really want. I'm scared. Maybe you are, too. The good news is if
you can recognize your fear, you can overcome it. I really believe that.
Sometimes I do take one step back for every two steps forward, but I am
still moving forward! /// It's excellent that you are going to your support
group, and congratulations on your weight loss. I think you'll do great.
— Kim A.
August 21, 2003
You sound like me! I had my surgery 9 months ago. Every time I eat
something I "shouldn't" like potato chips or one of my other
weaknessess, I beat myself up emotionally and do become depressed. What I
have to learn is not to be so hard on myself. My weight is still coming
off, and my guess is yours is too.
I try to be a perfectionist (especially with my diet) but as far as I can
figure out, it's damn near impossible. Don't be too hard on
yourself--you're making great progress (did you know that you are averaging
a loss of over 13#/month!?!).
I eat for emotional reasons. That's how I got to weigh the 315# I did. I
still do. When I have a bad day, I want to make myself feel better with
food. I still eat the "wrong" things when I'm upset. Then I get
depressed because I was depressed and ate the "wrong" thing and
it becomes a nasty cycle.
I don't know if any of this has helped but please know--YOU AREN"T
ALONE IN HOW YOU FEEL.....kelly
— klinzey
August 21, 2003
Don't know if this will work for you, but when you really want those
things, try eating "some" AFTER your meal of protein. Eat them
like a desert. Hopefully you will already be almost full. Then you will
only be able to eat a few bites.... so eat it slow and SAVOR the flavor.
— Danmark
August 21, 2003
I think it's important to remember that you should be able to eat ANY food
that you want...just in moderation. I will NOT deprive myself of any food
(and haven't) and I've still lost all my weight and am keeping it off. If
you deprive yourself of something, you feel like your not
"normal". There's no reason to beat yourself up for eating a
cookie or a few chips. It's only if you eat a TON of this stuff that you
should start worrying.
— Patty H.
August 21, 2003
I agree. I've eaten chips and candy in moderation for a while now and am
still losing. Don't beat yourself up. I think you deserve to reward
yourself every once in a while. Just don't try to sit down and eat an
entire bag of chips or candy! :)--Shelly
— Shel E.
August 21, 2003
You should know that you are not alone in feeling that way--- regardless of
how much weight any of us have lost, I don't know of anyone who hasn't
cheated or slipped a little. Being aware of your lapses is truly the
important first step in trying to fix them. Consider what kind of
emotional attachment you have to eating-- are you eating from stress,
boredom or comfort? Then, try (and it is tough) to try to find something
else to satisfy that need. I had trouble with that line of introspection
(even with the help of support groups and counselling) so I adopted the
strategy that my doctor advocated which is to simply consider food as being
purely utilitarian. I don't view food as a reward and don't feel entitled
to have an M&M or a chip-- not that I haven't grazed and cheated, but I
haven't done so thinking that I was giving myself a present. As a result,
for me at least, I don't feel deprived-- sure, I may be on an emotional
rollercoaster because the needs food used to meet don't have that easy fix
(it is tough losing one's favorite coping mechanism), but I have found the
health advantages and emotional charge from having my weight loss noticed
are adequate compensation. Good luck in your journey.
— SteveColarossi
August 21, 2003
Jan, I am pre-op at this time. As soon as my medical insurance kicked in
and I began the road for surgical approval, I obtained a referral to a
psychologist and began seeing her. I knew that it would benefit me to have
a professional working with me on a long term basis to help me prepare for
the surgery, and to continue to support me and my changes after surgery.
If you have insurance, I would encourage you to seek professional help.
You are NOT a failure, you just need to shift back on track. Please don't
beat yourself up for what you do, beat yourself up when you DON'T do
something to help yourself.
If you don't have health insurance, try and find a local free clinic that
provides support.
You are a loser and be proud of it!
— Stacy E.
August 22, 2003
This whole thing of entitlement to certain foods really scares me. I was
and am a food addict all the way and it is certain foods that trigger the
insanity. I have eaten enough of that crap to last a lifetime and to know
that it makes me feel like what it is. CRAP. If I go that route even for
one chip (har har that is a joke and I doubt anyone who says that they do
this often with no problem) I find that it triggers the food craving and a
lot of other not so good stuff (i.e. moodiness, depression, lack of energy,
etc...). I have had to be totally compliant post op in order to TRY to
change my attitudes towards food. I have tripped up for sure but the
feeling when I eat, in my case carbs, is exactly the same as pre op. If you
fear that you are depressed please see someone. It could definitely be the
cause of emotional eating. I don't plan on ever being able to eat like a
"normal preson" because that would mean that it would not cause
anxiety and guilt and if that would go away it would be a true gift from
above. I think that the only way to stop with the "bad" foods is
cold turkey. If you are eating a lot of carbs and you stop you may actually
feel some of that depression lift as well. Good Luck and good for you for
asking for help. It is not easy and you are brave! Think how much more
embarassed you would be to call the doc if you were gaining. Getting a grip
now is the most important thing and it will NOT be the first time he has
heard this. :)
— Carol S.
August 22, 2003
my friend and i are both post op, me 5 months her 7 months and we often
talk about this very thing. when we cave and eat something we should not it
makes us feel like failures, weak, bad and other wise depressed. its a
mental thing. hang in there! if you blow it, then just staret over, that is
about all any of us can do, we would not be fat in the firsts place if we
could control ourselves well. i understand!!!!! ;o)
— janetc00
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