Question:
Did you spouse remain attracted to you after you lost weight?
I read so much about how people's spouses become so much more attracted to you as you lose weight, and for a number of reasons: 1-You are happier and more confident and therefore sexier! 2-You just look better 3-You're more likely to ALLOW your spouse to be attracted to you (more daring, more open, etc.) And I know there are infinite more reasons. But my questions is on the flip side. Has anyone's spouse become LESS attracted to you as you lost weight? If so, has there been a reason? I worry so much, b/c my hubby has always been attracted to me but has only known me heavy. What if that is part of what makes him attracted to me? And he has 8 more months in Iraq (he's in the Army) and I have a tentative surgery date for Sept. 18th-therefore he'll never again see me as big as I am now. I don't want him to come home after an 18-month deployment (ONLY 8 MORE MONTHS! YEA!) and...I dunno...reject me. And I'd really like to hear from those of you who have experienced this. Thanks! — jenn_jenn (posted on August 18, 2003)
August 17, 2003
If your hubby loves YOU, he will love you skinny!! I was skinny when I met
my hubby. When I got really big, he still loved me. Deep down, I knew my
hubby wanted me to lose weight so I was so happy to have the surgery. Try
not to worry!!
— S A.
August 17, 2003
I just wanted to say that, it is totally the opposite for me. I cannot
keep my hubby's hands off of me! Don't get me wrong, my husband has known
both sides fat/thin, and he never complained. I knew that me being so
heavy bothered him, not for vanity reasons, but for health reasons. He
would always say, that he wanted me around for a long long time. I think
your hubby will just love the new you! My husband definately does! And Iam
sure that he will love everything that you have done to make yourself a
healthier, happier woman!!
— EHarding
August 17, 2003
Hi Jennifer, what a brave thing to ask.... here is my 2 cents worth. My
b/f and I have been together 5 years...every bit of it from 1200 miles
away. We work really hard to get together every other month or so. He was
one of the first I told about my surgery and one of the few I got very
emotional about it with. When we first met on the internet, he told me
that he was always attracted to "larger women, with long hair"
When we first met there was an instant chemistry and I knew I had met my
soulmate. I saw him 6 weeks after my surgery, and there was a change, I
was wearing some smaller clothes, my boobs had shrunk, and I had these 6
small scars on my stomach. Not once did he tell me I looked good. He
would hug me and tell me that he could feel the difference. But to me all
I heard was that he liked me better the other way. I am down 77 pounds
now, and 2 or 3 sizes in clothes. I am more confident about myself
physically, mentally, and emotionally, and he sees that. Less attracted?
I don't think so, but attracted in a different way. I am no longer willing
to sit on the side lines of life. I am more active with him sexually
(which he loves), I have more energy to do everyday things (I out walked
him on the Atlantic City boardwalk last month). Your relationship with
your husband is going to change, but if its strong- it will change for the
better. Keep him posted all the time with updated pictures of all kinds.
Write to him about the things you will do to him when you are so much
lighter upon his return...tell him that though your body will change, your
heart will not.
Best of luck
prayers for a smooth recovery
4/9/03
311/234/-77
— Peg L
August 20, 2003
Well....my husband and I have been together 1o years. He asked me to not
get the surgery and I did for my health anyway. He asked for a divorce 1
month ago. I had the surgery 18 months ago. I started at 350 and am down
to 140. He said he married a fat woman and wanted to stay with a fat
woman. He said he is not attracted to me anymore and doesn't want to be
with me anymore. I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons before
going into this surgery and decide what is worth it.
— Laura S.
August 20, 2003
I met the love of my life 8 years ago, and we have been married for 6
wonderful years now. The day we got married I was wearing a size 24 dress,
and now I wear a size 14. My husband couldn't keep his eyes or his hands
off of me when I was 288 pounds, and he still thinks I'm the sexiest woman
alive! (OK, so he needs glasses!lol) I think that if someone falls in love
with you for who you are, then it shouldn't matter what size you are! Best
of luck to you!
— T. 263
August 20, 2003
My husband loves me no matter what I weigh. He met me when I was thin and
loved me all the way up the scale. He was a little frightened over surgery
and assured me I didn't have to do it but he knew I had a terrible body
image problem that affected our love life. As I've gone down in weight
he's tried to "coach" me that I look terrific and maybe we could
make love by candlelight (something we did when I was thin but stopped as
soon as I started gaining weight and I know he misses). But I'm still not
ready. His response to me isn't really any different no matter how much I
weigh but he knows my weight affects my response to him so he just wants me
to be comfortable when we connect physically.
— susanje
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