You ate off plan... Now what?
I see and hear about this all the time, we are human and sometimes we fail to live up to our very high expectations of ourselves. Sometimes, regardless of our best intentions, we fall down, we get distracted and we eat off plan. It happens and if it only happens a few times, you are one of the lucky ones. The key question is what to do after the fall. I believe that having a strategy in place for these moments is important, it can be the difference between catching yourself after one meal or catching yourself after 50 pounds of regain.
I have two goals to achieve when I fall short of my expectations. The fist goal is to get myself to get right back on the program and the second goal is to analyze what happened and learn from it so that it will be less likely to happen again.
Achieving the first goal is always easier when I follow these steps.
1) I notice the change in my behavior- No more playing ostrich with my weight. I weigh myself every single day and I chart my weight. I also honestly assess my food choices for each meal. Lying to myself about my eating is not going to happen again as it no longer works for my lifestyle. or meets my goals and needs.
2) I immediately forgive myself- There is no room in my inventory for shame or anger. These feelings only start and perpetuate a cycle of more shame, blame and anger, often followed by depression. I don't need this cycle to get myself better. These emotions are not helpful to my cause. I am stronger and therefore can make better choices when I come from empowerment rather than shame. Sometimes, if the feelings of shame or anger are too strong to just let them go, I will actually journal to myself will a plan of action and focus my mind on being proactive for the next meal or the next day.
3) I immediately pre-plan and journal my next meal and possibly the next day's meals as I know I need to get right back to my plan. I will also prepare the next meal and have it ready. If it's at the end of the day, I prepare the food for the next day and have it ready to go.
First goal met, I then move to my second goal. I know from experience that my biggest "slips" have led to my most important lessons. I have no intention of forgoing an important learning moment and then repeating the pattern. I want to understand the underlying dynamics of my behavior, in order to do this I journal the answers to the following questions-
1) Right before the behavior, what thoughts or feelings did I have about this behavior. In other words, what did I tell myself about why this was OK. Was I trying to treat myself with food? Did I tell myself that I have maintained long enough, and one small bite wouldn't really do much? Did I just give myself card blanche to do whatever I wanted and deal with the consequences later? What ever my thoughts were, it is interesting for me to note them and not judge them.
2) What need was this food fulfilling for me? Is this how I feel my mother's love; through her home cooked meals, does this get me what I really want? Do I feel more social if I indulge at a social occasion? Do I feel pressure to conform to what other people are doing around me?
3) Is there another way I could get that same need met through other sources? Could I treat myself to a pedicure instead of a dinner out? Could I celebrate a special occasion by going out to the theater with my husband rather than a new restaurant? Could I turn my mother's cake down but invite to a spa day instead? How can I get as much or more of what I really need without the extra food?
4) What are the new strategies that I am going to implement that will greatly reduce the chance of this happening next time? Can I make them very specific and when can I try them out next?
5) How am I going to reward myself for choosing one of my new strategies rather than just doing what I have always done?
Rinse and Repeat as needed. :)
Thank you Elina, I needed this. I've been off-track for a couple of days and trying to figure how to get back. Nothing crazy, but a bite here and a bite there will add up quickly.
I will have to ask myself the questions you suggested. I may not like the answers but I know I need to address them so I can move forward.
Thanks again for taking the time to post these timely reminders. :-)
This is really helpful, thank you for taking the time to write and share this. I struggle greatly with emotional eating and at four months out have been set somewhat off track by a layoff at 4 weeks after surgery (still out of work) and some significant extended family stress over the holidays. I have started using a workbook called " The Food and Feelings Workbook" by Karen R Koenig, and it really walks you through what emotions are for, how to allow them to do their job but not overwhelm you. Worth checking out for anyone who struggles with emotional eating like I do. Thanks again!!
