Three year surgiversary (before and after pics included)

I don't even know where to start.  Tomorrow marks my three year surgiversary and on the one hand, it feels like it's been 100 years since I was SMO (super morbidly obese) while on the other hand, it seems like yesterday.  

I was very active on the boards when I first started my "journey" (side note: it's such a cheesy term but really does describe this crazy life of WLS).  I was super committed to taking advantage of this amazing tool and maximizing my honeymoon period.  I spent my first year after surgery eating low carb, abstaining from alcohol, not testing if I dumped on sweets or not.  I got a FitBit and tracked my steps.  I worked out, on average, five times a week.  I logged every bite of food in MyFitnessPal.  And it worked.  I lost 100 lbs in 4 months and 4 days after surgery.  I reached my goal of 160 lbs in less than a year (down from 351 lbs on surgery day).  I maintained there for a while and had a lower body lift and breast lift, followed by an arm lift six months later.  

And so here I am, at three years out, still working tirelessly to maintain my loss.   While I am not far enough out to be a vet, my words of advice to you would be:  

Take advantage of the first year or so after surgery.  If you are four months out, eating fast food, drinking wine, sneaking desserts, this could be a very hard journey for you.  As you get further out from surgery, you can eat larger quantities of food and your pouch can likely handle foods that were difficult in the early days.  Now, I eat small meals but very similarly to normal sized friends.  The days of being STUFFED from half of a chicken sausage are long gone.    

I was someone who ate when I was stressed, when I was lonely, when I was happy, and when I was sad.  I had to take a hard look inside myself and find new coping mechanisms so I don't eat my emotions.  Working out, walking, and shopping have become my go-tos.  

Support is integral.  My hospital support group sucks, so I come here for advice and hand-slapping.  My friends and family don't get food addiction like y'all do, so coming here holds me accountable, and hey, sometimes we all need a kick in the ass.  Don't get your panties in a bunch if someone who is farther out than you gives you advice.  You can ignore it, but most people here mean well.  

Believe in yourself.  Everyone worries about having surgery.  Everyone wonders if they will be the ONE person this doesn't work for.  Well, RNY is not a fix.  It's a tool and it's up to you to work your tool.  You can slowly eat Ritz crackers all day long without getting full and not lose any weight.  Trust me, we have seen it happen on these discussion forums.    

Eat dense protein.  Eat dense protein.  There are days I feel like my pouch is "broken" because I feel like I could eat a horse.  Truthfully, I could eat a large bag of popcorn.  But not a horse.  When I stick to dense protein (chicken, turkey, fish, shrimp are my favorites), I still fill up.  It reminds me that my stomach is still small.  

Invest in a kitchen scale.  I still eyeball too much food when I don't weigh it.    

Weigh yourself as often as you need to, for mental health.  No one gains 20 lbs overnight.  It creeps on, a pound here, a few pounds there.  I find that weighing myself every other day keeps me (mostly) on the straight and narrow.  I know when weight is piling on.  Burying my head in the sand got me to 351 lbs.  That being said, if you obsess over every ounce, you may want to weigh weekly.  

Don't drink with meals.  Different doctors have different advice as to coffee (I went decaf for a few months but am back to full strength on a daily basis) and carbonated beverages (I drink calorie free fizzy water all the time).  But I do not ever ever ever drink with meals.  I wait 30 minutes after, at a minimum.  And I use a 32 oz water bottle during the day, making sure to have 3 a day (plus coffee).  Stay hydrated!  Your body will thank you.  

Don't scoff at the idea of a transfer addiction.  Online shopping and drinking are two real possible transfer addictions.  I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't struggled with both of these at various times in year 3.  

Do you.  I am totally generalizing here, but it seems to me (unscientifically of course) that obese people put everyone else first and ourselves last.  Ignore the people who tell you that you don't need surgery.  Ignore the people who say you are too skinny when you reach a normal BMI.  Ignore people who say it's weird to eat a chicken breast for breakfast.  Do you.  

WLS will not cure all.  God, I sound like a negative nelly.  I'm really not!  I just know that I struggled around two years post-op when I realized that I had lost all the weight but I still had self-esteem issues and I was still single.  I thought that once I was "pretty" I would meet someone.  Losing weight didn't magically transform my life into a Hollywood movie.  But I got my butt up everyday and decided to go after my dreams.  And now I live with a wonderful man I met after four days on match.com :)   And my final thought of the day.  

Maintenance is hard.  Seriously, stop testing how much you can eat and what junk you can eat when you're one, two, six months out.  Losing is the easy part.  Maintenance is not.  So take advantage of the honeymoon period!!!!  

Here are my before and after pictures.  The first popped up on Facebook this morning from three years ago today (my mom was in town for my surgery the following day).  My after is Thanksgiving at my parents a few weeks ago.  If I ever needed a kick in the butt to get me to stop grazing on Christmas sweets, my "before" pic is certainly that!!!  

Good luck to everyone thinking about RNY or post-op RNY or just struggling with losing weight.  This is a community of folks that get it.  We do.

P.S. I am 5'5", and was 36 at the time of surgery.  I went from 351 on the day of surgery to 155 (lowest weight ever).  I set my goal at 160 and feel comfortable in the 160s (165 is my sweet spot).  I am closer to 170 (damn you, holidays!) and working on lowering calories to get back to 165.

Em you really helped me when you started coming here. I was so afraid to eat. When you did the what are you eating daily it really helped me.

Thank you for also being so honest about the honeymoon faze. I wish I utilized it more. I know I didn't and could have lost  a lot more weight. I am happy with the way I look but I know I could have gotten the excess weight off more if I didn't stray and some of my old habits come back. 

I wish I had the restriction I had when I had the surgery. I do have days where I don't want to eat. But they are very far and few between.

I can eat a lot. 

Coming here and reading and posting can take a lot of time. I know sometimes I need to shut my computer off and get off my butt and do something. I am hoping that changes soon and I have one of the jobs that I interviewed at. 

You are an inspiration and a wonderful woman. We are really lucky to have you here. 

Awww, thanks, Susan!  You inspire me - you're so strong to manage your food addiction and also quit drinking.  Keep doing what you're doing...people really benefit from your posts and advice!

And old habits are a ***** aren't they?  I hear ya!

Thank you for saying I am strong. Some days I just don't feel it. I think with depression and anxiety issues have been part of my problem. 

The food addiction is one thing I am struggling with now. I didn't realize how much stress induces my food addiction. Sometimes I don't want to eat. And other times I will mindlessly eat something I shouldn't. 

Being an alcoholic has been not that hard of a struggle. I mean I do feel uncomfortable sometimes around people that drink. More so since they can act like ******** My tolerance isn't always there. But I can only change myself not others.

One thing I will add is learning to love ourselves. Knowing we are worth it. To put ourselves first and not others. This can be a challenge for me. I want to fix things. My son was going through some major stuff with his so called girlfriend. I had to let it go and have him learn from this experience.

Learning not to compare yourself to others is one thing was hard for me. 

When I go to the dark side I have a hard time pulling myself out. I now try if I want to have a pity party for myself. I set the timer on my microwave. Then it is over. 

I am back focused on protein forward and backing off the carbs. 

I love Anniversary posts. Thank you for the advice and continue to do great things!

Thank you for being here and for sharing your journey.  It really means more than you can know.  I believe with my whole heart that if it weren't for folks like you here on OH I would not be successful and would be a train wreck by the time I get to where you are at 3 years out.  Thanks for helping save lives.

~E

Thanks, Elizabeth!  You are doing great so far, and you seem to be very self-aware and committed.  I honestly think that having plastics helped me immensely since it's almost like an insurance policy to (HOPEFULLY) not gain back 100 lbs and ruin my new body.  It may be the same for you.  Keep doing what you're doing, and coming here for advice and support.  Your posts are always so kind and insightful.

Thank you! I do feel like the plastics really will help.  It is like buying tight fitting clothes...if my pants start getting tight I will notice.  Well...if my skin is tight and starts to stretch I will see it much quicker. All the best for both of us!!

~E

What a great post! These Anniversary posts (especially more than one year out) really help us that are still working toward our goals!! I love your before and after pictures!!!

Thanks for taking the time to share with all of us!

Thank you for sharing and being honest. You are spot on with what you said.