Advice, please: Good lines to use in social situation tonight if my weight comes up?

Pokemom
on 3/6/15 3:24 am
RNY on 12/29/14

It all went great for me.  Did not have to respond at all.  Very sadly, a high school senior in our community recently took his own life.  His family were connected to some members of the book group.  So after the book discussion, the conversation turned to this sad situation and all our concerns about the young people around us. At such times, we just want to hold them all closer. 

I will eventually have to face the questions, though.  I mean, I have had people say things to me privately.  Some day it may come up in a group, and I really thought it would with this group!  I like your ideas for diverting the questions by asking other questions.  I have seen people do that in other situations, and it is so effective

 

Buchmansrus
on 3/7/15 12:52 am, edited 3/7/15 12:55 am

"The best advice quoting from Selhard,  I've read is to divert the questions by asking questions in return directed toward the other person. Question:  "Pokeman, how much weight have you lost so far?"  "The doctor wants me to focus more on new habits instead of numbers, does that make sense?" You get the idea.  Let us know how it went, ok?"

 

OH I LOVE THIS..THANKS So Much

Buchmansrus
on 3/7/15 12:55 am

I was trying to quote you..I loved your suggestion. thank you for sharing that selhard

MyLady Heidi
on 3/5/15 5:40 am

Say.......Oh yes thank you for noticing I lost weight, after years of struggling and a decline in my health I opted for a surgical intervention, I know everyone knows a story of someone who had issues and gained all their weight back, but I am hoping to be one of the success stories.  Please be supportive of my efforts as this is a lifelong committment to a change in my eating and hopefully a return of my health.  If anyone has any questions about the specifics of what I had done I would be more then happy to talk to you individually.  I think something like that would cover it all.

 

I outed myself about my surgery early on and still do when people bring up weight related issues.  I have been at goal for many years and owe my renewed health to wls and try to pay it forward any time I can.

Pokemom
on 3/6/15 3:28 am
RNY on 12/29/14

Thanks for this!  It was very gracious language and did cover things succinctly!  I especially liked the idea of "I know everyone knows a story of someone . . . but I am hoping to be one of the success stories." 

Interestingly, one woman in this circle did have WLS surgery many years ago.  She has since regained much though not all of the weight.  However, the surgery did reverse her PCOS, and she was able to conceive a baby who is such a joy to her. The PCOS is still not an issue for her anymore, and I had actually asked her about the surgery before I had mine.  She said that even though she has regained much, she would do it again in a heartbeat, because overall she feels so much better.

samanthalc
on 3/5/15 5:57 am
with

My neighbor is kind of a jokester, and she hasn't told many about her surgery.  She told me because I told her she looked great, and nothing else. After a few minutes, she asked if I was ever going to ask "how" she did it.  So I replied with something like, "No. I've seen that movie, and I'm sure it has a lot to do with eating better and less, and moving more."  She laughed, and said yes, but also WLS.

 

Anyway--with that background aside, the relevance of this is a bunch of mean old gossips asked her all these questions about her weight at our neighborhood watch/meeting.  She looked them seriously, got really quiet, and then said something like, "The how is uninteresting, the why is the question you want to ask.  I'm growing tired of Phil and working on getting back out on the market, but have to get back into dating shape you know?  Our secret though."

Phil is her husband.  The shock of that statement completely changed the atmosphere and the nosy folks shut up, and others started joking around about random things.

Maybe not for you, but it was really funny to see!

Pokemom
on 3/6/15 3:29 am
RNY on 12/29/14

Great story!  I loved it! 

Sherrie P.
on 3/5/15 10:44 am
RNY on 02/06/13

I get asked all the time. I am open and honest. "I had gastric bypass surgery in February of 2013. I was heavy all my life and nothing has worked until I took this step."

Anyone who loses a lot of weight no matter how they did it usually gets a lot of attention. I would be prepared!  

Who cares if anyone is negative now? You are losing weight.  It IS working. 

Revision Lapband to RNY 2-6-2013   HW: 286  Pre-Op Diet: 277  Surgery Day: 265  Goal: 155  CW: 155

Plastic surgery 8/28/2014: Brachioplasty, mastopexy, & abdominoplasty.

Plastic surgery 1/27/2015: Butt Lift

    

Pokemom
on 3/6/15 3:33 am
RNY on 12/29/14

There is a woman I see at the school sometimes, who I am friendly with. One year I noticed she had lost a significant amount of weight.  I asked her privately one day what she had done.  I realize now, based on what I had observed, and also based on her reply, that she probably had some form of WLS.  I wish she would have told me.  At the time, I was so discouraged with my own situation, and my lack of success in spite of significant efforts to lose.  So I agree that people do notice.  And I agree I should be honest.  I guess I am not yet assured--because I am only partway there! 

Kathyjs
on 3/5/15 11:25 am

When the compliment you , just say thank you

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