Help me from chickening out!

I have surgery 9-16. so about three weeks from now. Its all so surreal to me. I dont. think it even hit me that I was doing this surgery until I went to preop class. And to be honest the preop class scared the S out of me.

As each day gets closer im getting increasingly more nervous and questioning if I should even do this.

Im 25 and 265lbs with absolutely zero medical issues. My grandmother and father have diabetes but other than that I am the only obese person in my family. I have only been obese for about 7 years (college did for me). I have always had a struggle with weight since puberty but I managed to maintain it until then.

Ive only told my mother and my boyfriend about the surgery. My boyfriend is supportive (but we are in a long distance relationship so its hard) and my mother. My mother doesnt understand why im doing such a HUGE surgery. To her all I need to do is re learn how to eat and go to the gym with her. She would rather prefer that I get the lap-band since its "rearranging your insides."

I havent told anyone else so I dont have a big support system.

Im scared that im going to regret this. And if I feel this way now, I cant even imagine after surgery. I dont want to worry about what im eating constantly. I want to be able to eat normal people food again (though with moderation).


I just dobt know what to do and Im just lookng for encouragement. I want to do this im jist so incredibly scared of how my life will be like afterwards


sorry for spelling errors im on my phone

thanks for reading. Marissa .

Everyone is going to tell you to just do it.  I do not recommend it to anyone, it has to be a firm decision of your's.  There are so many pros and cons.  The big con that I see for you is your age.  You have lots of time for improvements and medical research to come to the front for all obese people.  If I were you I would seek a nutritionist and trainer in addition to counseling.  People fail because they give up.  WLS people fail for the same reason.  Altering your digestive system can be problematic as you age.  Nutrition being the a large factor.  The older you become the less likely you will follow all the food and supplement requirements to the letter.  If you are in good health now then I would advise you to wait, work hard with the proper diet (just like the one we are on) and see what happens.  

The results are immediate but you can afford to spend the time changing your life style and keep your internal organs intact.  

I know that I am in the minority on this forum but I have given it a lot of thought before my RNY and since.  My age and my health was my reason for RNY and I am concerned how it will affect me in 10 or 20 years.

 

 

So you believe theres long term affects to RNY?

Of course there are.  You will always not absorb much of the vitamins from your food and therefore need to take a variety of vitamins (we're not just talking about a couple of multivitamins, we're talking about taking vitamins three to four times a day in order to get everything in) and get extensive lab work at least once a year (more often if you have some kind of deficiency), and no one really knows what happens with this surgery when you get much older and the body naturally absorbs fewer nutrients.  Likely, it means having to take even MORE vitamins and may mean needing protein supplements (like the shakes) in order to absorb enough protein.  It also means not being able to take any NSAIDs (Aleve, Motrin, Midol, or any other kind of Ibuprofin,aspirin, etc.), so the only thing you can take for pain is Tylenol or prescription pain meds. 

We are also at higher risk for gallbladder problems, kidney stones, and bowel obstructions after a RNY, and adhesions (scar tissue from surgery) can potentially cause pain and a variety of issues that may require surgery to fix.

You will likely be able to eat fairly normally eventually (some people have certain foods that they have to give up because it makes them sick even in small amounts), but I am a little concerned by your statement about not wanting to always have to think about what you are eating.  If that is truly a concern, then you should NOT have weight loss surgery because you will always have to think about what you are eating and how much.  It is just the nature of the beast when you have your digestive system altered and when you want to KEEP the weight off (because it is when people STOP thinking about what they are eating that they regain weight).

This is NOT a surgery to be taken lightly and, IMO, should never be anything except a last resort, when the risks of NOT having the surgery are greater than the risks of HAVING the surgery.  At only 25, it is unlikely that you are at that point yet.  Have you considered the sleeve rather than a gastric bypass?  There are fewer complications because it is a much simpler surgery, and your intestines don't get re-routed so vitamin absorption isn't an issue.  It also doesn't have as much one an issue with taking NSAIDs since there is no remnant stomach that can get an ulcer.

Lora

I wasnt comfortable with the sleeve because of its permanent nature.... my doctor recommended the bypass, but seeing as NOW im not comfortable with my organs being switched around I'll have to look into it. 

 

What I dont understand is: yes, when you get older I might have to take even more vitamins and considering some people in this forum are  older than me (50s, 60s), wouldnt they too have to take MORE vitamins?? In other words, shouldnt we know what to expect in terms of nutrition in older people since older people have had the surgery. 

 

Thoughts? 

Unfortunately, although I have looked on a couple of difference of occasions, I have not yet been able to find any medical studies on nutritional status of bypass patients in their "senior years".  I feel certain that someone MUST have done one, but I couldn't find it.  Both of the surgeons that I consulted with before I had surgery, however,  indicated that they felt it was likely that patients would require additional supplementation of both vitamins AND protein as they aged, and that even with that, nutritional difficulties were likely.

Yes, it IS likely that some of us who are in our 50s and 60s ALREADY take more vitamin supplements than those who are in their twenties or 30s.  Everyone has different nutritional challenges, though, even if they are all in the same age range, depending on their body and what they eat -- someone might need additional Vitamin A while someone else may not, some may need just a "normal" amount of iron daily while some take large amounts and still need infusions, etc.  So it really WOULD require a scientific study to eliminate the individual variations and determine what kinds of "standard" effects we can expect as we age.

Lora

No, not everyone is going to tell her to just do it (but I know exactly why you said that! :) )  

I always find it interesting that the people who unequivocally say "yes, do it, it's great" are generally people less than 6 months out.  The vets, who have been living with the surgery for a number of years themselves, and who have seen the types of issues and complications that can arise post-op, and who have seen the people who come back in two years struggling with regain, are much more likely to respond as you have (and as I did, and and Kim did, below).

it scares me a little that people who have the rose-colored, "OMG the weight is coming off so fast" glasses tell people about how they have no regrets or reservations about recommending surgery to everyone... And I don't think that most people who post with questions about whether or not they should have surgery, or about whether or not people regret their surgery, pay any attention to how far out the various people are, and consider that aspect of their responses.

Lora

Im also sceduled to have surgery on Sep 16th if all goes well with insurance. Ive had to do 6 months of counceling and appts first. Were you required to do that for your insurance? At first I thought it was a big pain but in reality the 6 months has been great to educate myself. It is a huge surgery and a huge change.

Yes. I had to do one counseling session and the couselor charges $300 per hour!!!!!! The counseling I got wasnt anything new. She just told me id be fine and everything will fantastic. That was 6 months ago. Since then I probably need to go back but I feel like id be wasting my time since shes probably going to tell me the same things I can find on this forum (for $300).

That's crazy... 300.00 ! I had to go once per month to weigh in and meet with the Physician's assistant, I also have to meet with a dietician twice, a Psychologist, and another physician for an overall physical with labs and an EKG. After all of that is done and the full 6 months is when they will put my final submission in. After Sep 5th : )

What is your biggest concern? The surgery itself or the lifestyle change? If its the surgery, its normal to be nervous. If its the lifestyle change, I  personally think that its also normal to second guess. But....If you are anything like me You NEED the change. Im 35 and have yo - yo'd my entire life. I can lose 35-40 pounds, but always get discouraged since I have more to go. I end up gaining it back and more. I finally decided that this surgery would be the tool that I needed to totally change my way of looking at food. To look at food more as a "fuel" for our body, rather than something to simply enjoy. A support system is going to be huge, Ive talked with many who have had the surgery. It's so important to have friends and family support you. Im hoping that the support I have before the surgery stick around for during and after as well.

Well its exciting that we may both be having the surgery on the same day! Keep in touch :)