A Former Fat Chick
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by Kathy Sitter When I met my DH, it was during one of my few times I had starved myself and got down to a smaller size, I think 12/14. I couldn't believe someone would love me, no way. We got married and the only thing I remember about my wedding day was my Mom and my best friend having to hold the back of my wedding dress together to try and get it to zip up. This was to be the most special day of my life, and once again being fat destroyed me. Throughout my adult married life, I realized I was a stress eater. Needless to say I don't remember when there was not stress in my life. I was married to someone that had his issues and he made me feel it was my fault. And not having any self-esteem from my childhood I believe everything he said. I remember being so alone and empty. Boy that comfort food made me feel so good. It was my friend, my best friend. It never lied to me, left me or hurt me. It was always there and I could depend on my best friend, food. Of course I gained and gained and gained. There was one time after about 10 years of marriage when I decided to join the gym. Now this However, this was short-lived. My DH lost another job and we had to move. We ended up in a backwater town that didn't even have a gym. I started eating again and then when I found out my DH was cheating on me, that pushed me over the edge. If he would do that to me when I thought I was the BEST I COULD BE, then my best must not have been good enough. I can say from that day on, I ate and ate and never looked back. Oh I tried all the hot new stuff; Richard Simmons and Weight Watchers and all throughout my life and lost a few and gained more. I was working at the most stressful job in the world, I was a computer analyst for a company that believed in the Big Brother way of managing.In the mean time my wonderful DH (yes we are still together after all who else would want me) had fell and broke his back. He had not worked for 5 years and my son had lost his job and came home also. I was the only one working and the threat of losing my job was there on a daily basis. This is how they managed and inspired their people to work harder. Guess what? My best friend turned on me? After all those years of being there for me I found out my best friend was trying to kill me? I was told by my PCP if I didn't lose weight I was going to die. I had tons of health issues, diabetes, high blood pressure, gurd, acid reflex, numbing in my limbs where I barely could walk (I had a handicap plaque) migraines every day. I was the walking dead. My life consisted of anxiety attacks just thinking about going to my job and the shuffling there and back and then laying on the couch and or bed and just ate. I went to seminars on Gastric Bypass Surgery per my PCP's request and would come out of the meetings saying I can do this, those people are nuts to rearrange their plumbing. I lost 60lbs and put on 80 more. The light bulb moment for me was when we went on a cruise (and we don't take vacations) and I could not walk anywhere; I had to just sit and watch life pass me by. I don't do pictures but my DH wanted one. When I got home and saw that picture I almost died. I couldn't be that big! I got on a scale and it didn't go past 300, but I did. I went back to the doctors and I was 330 lbs. I lost it and cried and cried. I called Northwestern the next day. I had my Gastric Bypass Surgery on August 30, 2004. I had found the best Laparoscopic Surgeon. I did not want the open procedure as there was a lot of infection complications associated with that procedure. Also they had the best program to prepare us for success. I believe with all my heart if you do not get it right between the ears first before they re-arrange your plumbing you will fail! The day of my surgery I had this bad feeling but I told myself it was nerves. Well I had complications with a leaky stomach and after 5 hours of trying to cut and staple they had to open me up. I was devastated. When I saw the surgeon a week later, my entire incision was infected. They had to cut me open and the infection went all over the place. Then they wanted to leave it open so it would heal from the inside out; I freaked out! Needless to say, I didn't eat, move and or do much as I suffered for three months. The only thing that I loved about myself (and there was not much) was my long, thick hair. Lost almost all my hair on the top and sides. I kid you not, I looked like a chemo patient. All I could think of was, what the heck had I done to myself? Would I do it again? In a heart beat!!!!! What losing this weight and working out has brought into my life is more than I could ever dream of. I created an Inspiration Bracelet for us and it sold so well that I was able to quit my nightmare job. My DH had a job at that time. I had prayed for 100 pounds after 6 months and I got it. Exercise? Well, I didn't move for the first 3 months. I then started walking slowly and not very far. After 6 month I wanted to join Curves and did so. After about 6 months at Curves it was no longer a challenge and I didn't go very often. Not only did I reach goal but exceeded everyone's expectations. I was told my weight loss success was in the less than 1%. My surgeon wanted me in the 150's, well I weighed in on my 1 year anniversary at 128. I was so mad! Why is it I am the exception? Why do the doctors and surgeons settle for less? They are happy if we lose only 70% of our body weight. I feared putting the weight back on and asked myself, what was the secret? How can I make sure it won't come back? The numbers are frightening as 80% of us will put on 50% of what we lost during the second year. I asked Northwestern, you see thousands of WLS patients a month, what do they do to keep it off? The answer they gave me was exercise. WLS patients that exercise on a regular basis keep the weight off. I was headed to the GYM! There are no words to describe the difference losing the weight has made in my life. All of my health issues are gone, yes I said gone. I take drugs for nothing!!!! Not only can I walk, but I also run 5k's. However, there was one problem they did not prepare me for and that was loose, hanging, excess skin. When I joined the gym, I didn't have a clue and wanted to do it right. The only way to learn was to hire a personal trainer (PT). When I joined I told the lady about my surgery and weight loss. I asked if they had any PT's that had worked with Gastric Bypass Patients and they did not. She recommended a PT that she said ROCKED and when I saw him I knew there was no way I could work with this guy. He was about as fit as you can get. I am not kidding; he was buff to the 9's. And I am suppose to tell him I have been morbidly obese all my life and had surgery (hey don't these guys in the workout industry think that is cheating)? He wanted to know what I wanted, and I just told him, "I had lost weight and needed to learn how to keep it off." He took my body comp and I weighed 128 and had 18% body fat. I loved the classes that were offered as well; I took every class that had to do with core, strength, weights and yoga. I was feeling so good, but the issue of the skin was getting so bad. I had open, bleeding sores everywhere! I mean everywhere. Under my arms, between my legs, under the panni and my breast. I wore a garment called Lipo In A Box, and it kept most of my skin in place. When I worked out, I had to wear 2 girdles to keep the skin from my panni from falling out. After working out I would go home and peel my bloody garment off of me. It was time to think about PS. I went to the PS board and read everyone's post on OH about PS. I also went to the local boards and asked who was the guru for us WLS patients when it comes to removing excess skin. Knowing myself, I needed someone to be aggressive, as I didn't want to have one procedure and then wait 6 months to a year. As I matter of fact, I bought the book The Total Body Lift, and read it from cover to cover. My research lead to me interviewing several Plastic Surgeons. One was honest enough and said I needed more than he was willing to do. Another was highly recommended but didn't seem to be passionate about working with me and my excess skin. he Blue Ribbon Surgeon per all emails I got was Dr. Fenner, the chief of Plastics at Evanston Hospital. After meeting with him, I knew he was the one for me. I couldn't convince him to do all my surgeries at one time (he thought I was nuts), but he would do them in two stages, 3 months apart. He warned me this was A LOT. The procedures I needed done were, Inner Thigh Lift (I didn't want the cut down the leg), LBL, TT with MR, BA, BL, Arms, Back and Lower Face Lift. He also commented on my working out. He said to keep up whatever I was doing, as the lower I get my body fat and the more muscle I put on, the better the outcome will be. He was impressed I was exercising so hard. I went back to the gym and confessed all to my PT. He was so sweet and shared with me some things he went through as a kid and therefore lead to him working out and being in the great shape he was in. He understood my pain and suffering. His thoughts were to train me as if I was going to compete in a bodybuilding competition; I was laughing my butt off! Miss shuffle to the fridge and back for exercise was going to be working out as a bodybuilder? LOL! Working out became my new obsession. I would tell people it was in place of food, but it looks way better on me than food! I was convinced this is the secret to getting the weight off and keeping it off. I want to be the Richard Simmons (with better hair) of the WLS family. I want to get the word out!!! I started a thread on the OH board called "Did You Move To Lose Today?" I shared my workouts in detail and others learned from it and shared what they were doing. I worked very hard to help each person find the one thing they loved to do, and then asked they stick to it for at least 30 days. It worked!!! I would get e-mail's from people saying they were hooked and they were feeling and looking better than they ever imagined. We were ROCKIN now! Insurance? Oh yea, my Plastic Surgeons office submitted my report and mailed the bloody pictures they took. The adjuster asked for the pictures to be faxed but they turned out black. She said based on what she had received they were denying the entire claim. Now I was told they NEVER pay for breast, back, arms, legs, butt or upper tummies. The best I could hope for was the panni being removed. I was devastated to say the least. I thought for sure they would at least do the panni. We didn't have the money for all I needed done. I cried, and then I got mad. I called, and to make a long story short, they had received my pictures since denying the claim and it was the worst they had ever seen. Guess what, they were approving EVERYTHING! My surgeon's office said they had never heard of this, EVER. It was BCBS of MN. My first surgery was April 14th and I worked out like a mad women. but into trouble with my eating. They taught me how to eat to lose, but no one taught me how to eat to maintain while working out. When I was working with my PT he would see I was just not doing a very good job. He would ask what I ate, and when I told him, he said it was not enough and I was in trouble. We did an updated body comp and I was down to 118 and 14% body fat which is way too low. I called Northwestern and asked to speak to a nutritionist, as I was in trouble. The first one I met with was a waste of time. All she said was I needed to eat at least 3500 cals a day or cut out some of my work outs. I reminded her I had WLS and couldn't eat that much and I was NOT going to stop what I was doing work out wise. Well, I tried but couldn't get the calories in. I called and asked for another nutritionist and met with Dawn. Now she asked what can I eat and I told her 1200 to 1500 cals a day. She worked with me and made sure I increased my complex carbs. I showed my PT the eating plan, he made some adjustments and away we went. There are no words to tell you how great you feel when exercising is a part of your life. You think clearer, you feel energized, and you bounce when you walk as your head is a little higher. You feel so proud of how you look and how great you feel. Everyone said I was going to die because I was having so many procedures done. Well, let me tell you, I had the Inner Thigh Lift, LBL, TT with MR, BA and BL, and didn't even need pain meds afterwards. My surgeon said he had NEVER seen anyone so fit and ready for surgery. Since my body fat was low we didn't have to do Lipo which often causes a lot of pain and bruising. My recovery was fast and again, I had no pain. I bugged him to death about getting back to the gym. After 6 weeks he let me go back but nothing heavy. Man I was bummed, but didn't want to push it. So I went back and all the PT's went nuts. They said I looked great and I told them we are only half way there. My next surgery was June 30th and we revised some things and did my arms, back and lower face. It's been 6 weeks now and I am so happy with the results. It was a little rougher this time around and I feel it had to do with me not being in as great shape as the first time around. I am starting back to the gym and inviting everyone to start over with me. We share our workouts through the thread, Move to Lose. Now when I work out for the arms (guns), 6 pack and rock hard legs, I will be able to see the results of my hard work! Exercise is the answer!!! I was among the walking dead before but exercise has given me my life back. Now I am living life as I had only dared to dream. Stay Strong, Sexy and Sassy!!!! Take care, |
was in the 80's when it was a place for guys and girls to hook up,and there were PERFECT bodies everywhere. Remember that John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis movie Perfect? Well that was how it was. It was one of the hardest things for me to do, but I just kept looking at all the perfect bods and told myself I can do it, I can do it. I didn't eat, I was doing that liquid protein diet at the time and fell in love with body building/weight lifting. I lost over 100 hundred pounds and was a size 10 (and no skin issues). I had people at the gym walking up to me and telling me how great I looked. For the first time in my life I felt good about myself, maybe I was not so bad after all, and exercise did this for me. It brought me peace, and a respect for myself that I had not known before. 
