Looking for some info about surgery through highmark

So I'm very much overwweight and have been since I was a child.  It's to the point where I have trouble breathing just from small activities like getting dressed, showering, and even walking from my bedroom to my truck. 

I'm about 350 lbs and 5'8" and very little of me is muscle.  I work in IT so I spend all day at work in a cubicle on the computer and usually end up home around 7pm and have just enough time to make dinner, shower, and go to bed for the next day's grind. 

I've tried a few different diets over the years including a "vegan" diet which kind of worked (I dropped to 280 the lowest I've been since high school) but then I started gaining again even while dieting/doing exercise.  When I got back to about 315 I gave it up and went back to eating meat (fast food included) and I blew up quick.

My cousin's mother-in-law had a gastric bypass done and she gave me her doctor's info so I called my insurance and called the hospital and am going to a seminar next week about it.  I have highmark blue cross blue shield which from what I understand covers the gastric bypass but requires a 6 month supervised diet/exercise plan.  They said I have to see a doctor and a dietician and I have neither.  

So i'm wondering a few things:

 1) How do I find a doctor and dietitian?  I avoid doctors like the plague.  I haven't seen one in about 7 years and he's long gone.  Do I just pick one from the yellow pages? 

2) What kind of supervised diet/exercise plan is it?  How strict does one have to follow it?  If I end up losing 20-30 pounds over the course of 6 months will they say "Oh I'm sorry no surgery for you do it on your own?" because as I said I've tried that and I hit a wall every time and end up gaining on the same diet/exercise plan after so long

3) I have fallen asleep on my fair share of couches before and  have been told several times that I have sleep apnea by friends.   I basically stop breathing altogether, even while awake, and then I end up gasping for breath and switch to manual breathing.  It's like my lungs just stop doing their thing and I wake up gasping for breath.  The lady I mentioned earlier (cousin's mother-in-law) said that if I went to a sleep study about the sleep apnea stuff it might cancel out the 6 month diet/exercise requirement?  Any truth to that? 

4) How much should I expect to pay out of pocket?  The insurance company said they cover pre-op, post-op, complications, and a few other things I forgot the wording on.  I assume I'll have to do co-pays on every doctor/dietician visit  (apparently I have to see one at least every 30 days so about 7 times over the course of the 6 month period) Is there a percentage of the surgery I have to pay?  Can I do a payment plan?

5)  I read so much about people complaining about tons of extra skin after losing weight.  Is there a way to prevent this from happening?  I know women rub cocoa butter on their bellies when they get pregnant to prevent stretch marks and whatnot.  Is there something I can do to avoid flabby leftover skin? 

Like I said I am going to some free seminar next week that the hospital said I should go to so maybe I can get some answers there but was hoping to talk about it on a forum with others who have gone down this road before.

Thanks!