WLS Suicide - It's all backwards. What can we do?

M M
on 9/16/10 1:07 am

Stomach Surgery To Get Thin...
But Not Necessarily Happy?
Here it comes.

RIP Lisa Sohr.  A beautiful soul.

Thin050509_1_400

http://nymag.com/nymetro/health/features/1868/ from 2005

I vividly remember this woman and this article:  

My Life as a Thin Person

People like Lisa Marie Sohr, who lose 100 pounds or more with stomach surgery, find that with their new bodies often come new friends, new spouses, new lives. But happiness is not a foregone conclusion.

 (I reposted this article on my own blog in 2005, probably back on Blogspot.)

I remember this clearly as it spooked me.  I was only one year post op, and pushing my own lowest weight.  But, I knew it was realistic if a bit dark, and I have never once held out to anything wild or crazy in my own expectations.  

Looking back, reading articles like that gave me a good balance between the mass postings and books filled with --

"YOU CAN DO IT!  Look at ME!  I did it!  Look at my size ZERO! GLITTER AND BUTTERFLIES and XXX POUNDS LOST FOREVAH!  THANKS TO BABY JESUS AND MY SURGEON!" 

No.  No, sometimes you can't, or you simply feel like you can't.  (Save it.)

Post-ops do not talk about this stuff openly often enough.  

According to everything I have read and listened to in the last seven years (as a non-professional, just a peer with lots of people talking to her, please do not give me another speech about "professional," if you want a PRO - go find one) there is a G I G A N T I C hole in the care of psychological and psychosocial issues in the post op world of bariatric surgery.

More often than not, people struggle.  People struggle harder than you may ever realize.

Sometimes simply seeing your peers succeed and blow past you -- is enough to make you wallow in a pit of Lucky Charms. What happens with bigger life stresses?  What then?  If you never learned how to cope, and do not have the capacity or the means to find help in learning how to cope?  

How does this manifest for you?  Eating problems, inappropriate behaviors, transfer addictions to drugs, alcohol, spending money, gambling, promiscuous behavior, compulsivity or being totally reckless with your life?  

Short answer:  YES.

(I actually feel lucky at times, that even with added stresses and issues, that I have been able to maintain some a little sanity.  However, I am perfectly aware that I am six degrees of separation from a padded cell if I don't pay attention.)

I fear that there is so much attention placed on being a successful weight LOSS patient, and a successful re-loss patient, that lots of people forget about being a healthy person.  You can't have an entirely healthy person without a (somewhat) sound mind.  It's like, "GET TO YOUR GOAL WEIGHT AND STAY THERE AND YOU WIN!  Forget about your family, job, life, goals, they don't matter so much as HOW GOOD THIN FEELS!"  

To me, it's all backwards.  But, again, I am not in the business of selling weight loss surgery, and instant gratification results sell, amazingly well.  

Bariatric surgery is NOT going away, "we" are only getting more obese by the day, and "we" are going to be scheduling more and more bariatric procedures as "we" need them.  There will be countless less-than-stable individuals adding to our current pool.  

We obviously have work to do, as post ops who are aware of these issues.  We don't need to lose another peer.  Doctors can only do so much, they have a job, "to surgically alter the digestive tract," they do not alter our brains.  (That will happen, eventually.)

_________________________________________

*Lisa Sohr committed suicide, article here.

http://www.meltingmama.net/wls/2010/09/stomach-surgery-to-get-thin-but-not-necessarily-happy-here-it-comes.html

Getaway_Girl
on 9/16/10 1:17 am - Montclair , NJ
Yeah man, thats sheer craziness, like she let 'them' win over her

so freaking sad.

 

M M
on 9/16/10 1:24 am
 Who?



Mary Catherine
on 9/16/10 1:38 am
I guess I see it like this.  I was overweight, I had surgery, I lost the weight.  So what? 

There are too many other things to do in life than to concentrate on weight loss.  If I lost girlfriends, I went out and made new ones.  There is no reason to be alone if you don't want to be.  I watch what I eat and exercise, but that is not the focal point of my life.  I want to find a way to help people who have had weight loss surgery to get through their problems and make the most of the rest of their lives.
Mia W.
on 9/16/10 1:55 am - Miami, FL
Mary -

I have the exact same outlook on my weight loss as you. I have come to realize over the years that not everyone has the same cheerful outlook on life as I do. I have always been a very 'up' person even before I lost the weight.

I got married almost 2 years ago to a man who struggled with depression during various points in his life. I have only experienced one dark time with him that lasted about 2 months and it was during those 2 months I really learned what a beast depression is. At first I would try to just talk to him like, "What the heck is wrong with you, snap out of it! Stop sweating the small stuff and move onward!!!" After weeks of trying this approach I realized it just wasn't working! He and I are huge believers in couseling and we spent several sessions discussing his depression and I really had to learn how differently his brain works than mine.

I think in this example, this woman was probably very depressed, went untreated and just dwelled on on the negative things going on and just couldn't 'snap out of it.' For you and me, this is often times the easiest thing to do, but for others, it is nearly impossible without the help of therapy and medication in some cases.

No matter what, this is a very sad story. At a time where she could have flourished it is such a tragedy that the beast of depression defeated her!
SW: 261.4 CW: 183.5 GW: 148
RNY March 11th
Completely HOOKED on exercise!
1 hour High Intensity (insane) Fight Club - M, T, W, Th, F

          
franRN76
on 9/16/10 1:38 am - PA
This is so tragic.  She must have had alot of emotional stuff that she didnt deal with.  I am afraid of exctly that once I lose the weight.  I think that I am ok and have dealed with the past, but there is always that posiblities that the past will come back and haunt me once I am vulnerable after the weight comes off.  I mentioned this to the psychologist during pre-screening.  I may or may not have problems.  The key is that I am being honest with myself.  I have let family know that if they see me in a funk to bring it to my attention.  I am prepared to go to counseling if I have to.  The PSYCH says that I should jsu****ch it and if I am in a funk for more than a few days to call him.

                

kig
on 9/16/10 1:48 am
I agree with marycatherine 100%
So Blessed!
on 9/16/10 1:59 am

I remember this article and that portrait.  She reminded me of the Mona Lisa.
Zee Starrlite
on 9/16/10 2:16 am
I'm sad, really sad.  I remember reading and clinging to this NY Magazine.  Lisa inspired me to be "banded".  One of my docs patient's were featured in that article too - it is how I eventually ended up with him .

Life!


3/30/2005 Lap Band installed  12/20/2010  Lap Band REMOVED  
6/6/2011 Vertical SLEEVE Gastrectomy

M M
on 9/16/10 2:31 am
 It makes me wonder how much we should push those fancy before and afters sometimes.
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