Pre-Liquid Diet: an emotionally-excessive rant

Tonight's grocery list is complete on a small yellow post-it, not even the standard size, but a half-size post-it most people use as one-worders. Chicken, fish, turkey, veggies, small fruits, raw almonds, avocados. I've been preparing for this week for the last three months, the eve of the liquid diet. This is the week, the "last" week, and I don't know what to do with myself.

 

I started the Bariatric Advantage meal replacements about a month ago, slowly at first with one meal replaced. It never sat well in my stomach, it gives me a faint nauseous feeling that naturally suppresses most of my appetite. I thought it would get better but hasn’t.

 

My girlfriend's dad gave us a ishtload of food gift certificates over the Holidays. In his defense, he didn't know I was getting bariatric surgery. I suppose this week would be the week to use the last of the food bucks. A couple of food funerals actually brought tears, but not because I would miss eating those things, but because I was "in the moment" and mindful of the major life changing CHOICE I was making in no longer needing to eat that kind of food.

 

I'm a little bitter about it right now. Right now, I am so conscious of the years of neglect I've put my body through and very aware of what I now have to do and why, but it bites that some of us were so badly programmed on how to eat (nutritiously) that we have to make such extreme decisions about our health.

 

The last month leading up to this point has been real tough. I am not ashamed to admit that I've gone through a process of privately blaming certain factors that have resulted in my weight gain (mostly my parents' lack of nutrition principles and my lack of responsibility as an adult). The blame game is over and now I just feel quite lucky to have these resources to pursue WLS. I even feel quite proud of the fact that I've traded Facebook for THIS amazing forum where I've made a few real connections and continue to learn more about food and health than I ever have in my life. I guess that is considered a real NSV.

 

*tears*

 

My girlfriend struggles with her weight as well, has for most of her life (like me), and I want to succeed so very much mainly for myself but because I love her and want her to give WLS a chance so that her own body can help her and she won't continue to go through one failed diet after another.

 

I never realized that the last few weeks before my liquid diet would be so emotional. It feels like you're saying goodbye to a fun, carefree, crazy, overindulgent (maybe a little toxic) friend whom you've had great times with but is holding you back from so many things in life. Yea, that is exactly what it feels like right now.

 

But we all have to wake up and smell the herbal (non-caffeinated) coffee and put our accountability in motion.

 

I know what you mean.  I feel the same way.  Don't have my surgery date yet, but have shed my share of tears already.  I hope your girlfriend watches the process through you and makes a decision for a better, more healthy life.  Good luck to you on your surgery.

I never thought of this relationship as the high school friend that never grows up, but that is a perfect analogy. I have been low cal surgery prep for 3 weeks now...My surgery is one week from today and this mostly liquid diet is killer. I have done well with accepting my lifestyle changes, but I've been working on my head for 2 years!! I did have my last Christmas get together of the season this past Sunday and the people there were mourning the food for me. I sat through a lengthy "but you'll never be able to eat like this again (sad-face)." Like I needed that!! That was my biggest emotional moment. I am with you completely!

yes, I couldnt of said it better myself. I havent started my preop diet yet, and I dont really have to until the 1st of February. However, due to my high bmi I know I need to start early. I just keep wrecking it for myself. This week though has been slightly better. I walked a mile-actually got off my butt for the first time in a long long time. I bought a protein shake mix that I am going to use for the first time tonight-instead of binging on cheese and crackers per usual. Hoping tomorrow to cut back the portion sizes of my meals and keep walking. Week after that more protein meals instead of regular food-and more walking. God, this is so hard! How is everyone planning on getting through those awful hunger/head pains????

I had to find a way to combat head hunger the other day. My family went to a Mexican restaurant and the chips were giving me signals. I knew somewhere in my head I didn't want them and I knew eating them would sabotage me. My solution was to get my ipod out of the car and play a game through the appetizer round. I ordered fajitas and only ate the grilled meat. I have found the busier I keep my hands, the better I am able to distract myself from the impulsive head hunger. Maybe it will work for you too.

thank you, that is a wonderful idea! 

I've overindulged a little the last few weeks up until this week. What is really going to be helpful for me is weighing my foods. I've never done that before and always thought it was time-consuming. So I got a 5 dollar scale from my Target, those work better than the digital ones which you can't rely on. My doctor asks that during my liquid diet, which starts next week, I am allowed up to 3 oz of lean meat. I weighed that out and it seems a reasonable portion. In between I can have modest ounces of cottage cheese, fruits, 1/8 of an avocado, and 6 WHOLE almonds lol. This includes the protein shakes, ofcourse.
Not too bad.
I don't typically get headaches so I'm not worried about that but I am a grazer and I'm finding ways of keeping my hands busy. Working harder, writing more, and Words with Friends...

Good luck to you!

Rosemary, you TOTALLY and COMPLETELY nailed it!!!  I even read your post to my husband just now and said, "She took the words right out of my mouth!"

I felt the same exact things as I was preparing for my surgery 6 months ago.  I have to admit I still struggle with feeling a little resentment toward people that don't think twice before putting *whatever* in their mouths and I have to plan plan plan for every meal.

But, I'm here to tell you...the whole process is SO worth it.  And while personally speaking I struggled through the liquid diet the first two weeks after my surgery, that time now feels like a distant memory.  And while I do still have bad "moments", those moments are fleeting.  Especially when i step on that scale! 

Good luck to you!!!!!

-Vicki

Thanks Vicki :) 
I went to a support group last night for folks that have had bariatric surgery by my surgeon and I relished all the success stories, the smiles, the nsv's, and the NUMBERS!

I am looking forward to the day that I can look back at this time and be proud that I stuck by it, stuck by my own self.

Congratulations on your hard work and accomplishment so far!
Rosemary

I may get me one of those scales. I thought they were time consuming as well, so never tried it. Portion sizes are my biggest downfall-I can eat a TON before I ever feel satisfied or full. I need to find a way to deal with that discomfort so I can make it through this preop stage. I don't have to start until the first, but I have a fatty liver which was already sliced on accident during a gallbladder removal. I figure if I start earlier it could help me that much more. Hopefully, I can make it through this.