Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I slowly started gaining weight when I graduated from college in 2002. I was around 180-190 in college and my my wedding in 2005 I was up to 230. Most of my eating was emotional and was a way to deal with my anxiety and depression. During my first pregancy in 2009-10 I gained a staggering 80lbs. Although I managed to lose a few pounds I was stuck at about 298-300 when I started planning to have RNY. During the morning of my schedule surgery, it was discovered during the urine test that I was pregnant again. SURPRISE! Even with Mirena, I had managed to be blessed with my second daughter. The doctors told me that I could not gain a single pound with that pregnancy which I proudly managed to do. After that I was scared to go through the surgery process again but I hit an all-time low emotionally. I truly hated my body and what I had done to myself. In fact, I couldn't look in mirrors anymore because all I could see was a monster.
My therapist suggested I call my surgeon to see what was required to have WLS once more. They told me all I needed was updated labs - so i went for it. Turns out that the VSG (the surgery I really wanted) was now covered by my insurance as well so it was all meant to be.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
There were so many things about being obese that were terrible. The stares and taunts from complete strangers was one of the worst. Once a group of guys drove by me and my husband outside a bar and yelled "FAT GIRL!!" out the window at me. Little kids would ask me why I was so big. Those little things were like knives twisting in my heart.
Not to mention how I felt. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt like I couldn't breathe normally, everything winded me - especially keeping up with my two little ones. My back hurt, my legs hurt - my whole entire body hurt.
The thing the really woke me up was my doctor telling me that if I stayed 317lbs - that I was going to live 20 YEARS less than my average weight counterparts. That was retirement with my hubby, seeing my kids get married and have their own kids. Things I was determined NOT to miss. So I decided it was time to take control instead of waiting for something to happen.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I enjoy every moment of my life now. My VSG saved my life. I can play with my toddlers and go on rides with them. I can snuggle with my hubby and feel his arms all the way around me. I can sleep without waking up from my own snoring. I can look at myself in the mirror and think "Hey you look good today." When I look back through pictures of myself when I was morbidly obese, I feel really sorry for that girl. I know how sad she was and how much she hated herself. I cry now remembering how sometimes she thought the world would be a better place without her in it.
It is never too late to make the change. How long will you wait before it becomes too late? Stop making excuses about why you can't. You can. We are all the same - we all have the same kinds of issues. You can be successful and have the life you want. It will take hard work and a lot of therapy (which I still do). But if I can do this - so can you. Trust me.
My favorite quote that motivated me for surgery is from Nike: "Yesterday you said tomorrow. Just do it." A year from now you will be thanking yourself for taking the chance.
danigirl42
