Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I was always a chunky kid. When you're a baby, everyone thinks it's cute. Even into elementary school, it's acceptable to be a plump kid (at least it was in the 80's when I was in school). Around 5th grade it started to cause problems at school, especially as I started getting boobs, not just fat rolls.
I remember hitting 200lbs in 8th grade, so my mom signed me up to go to Jenny Craig with her. We met with our coaches, ate their nasty food, and weighed in each week. Then it got to be too much with my mom's work schedule, and we stopped going. I didn't have much success with it anyway, because they only really push THEIR plan.
High school was horrible - not necessarily because of my weight, just because it was high school. I fell into a horrible depression, and started cutting myself as a way to give a physical presence to the pain I was feeling inside. About this time I also met a boy who didn't mind my chunkiness. That "relationship" turned disastrous and confirmed my suspicions that I was gay. After that I felt even more alone and became very withdrawn. Eventually I ended up overdosing and began counseling. The therapy and medications helped with the depression and self-injury, and my weight simply maintained, it didn't decrease.
I made it through high school, graduated and starting working the next day. I did fairly well while I was working, but relied heavily on going out to lunch every day. Once I moved out on my own, I was working full-time and going to night school part time, and actually developed a pretty good routine of eating at home, and eating fairly healthy foods. Because I was doing "so good" I decided I didn't need my meds anymore, and immediately the depression came back and I started cutting again. After cutting a little deeper than planned, I ended up moving back home for 6 months, and gaining weight again. (My mom is a REALLY good cook).
The day I turned 21 I was in a weekend college seminar and met a fabulous young man who very quickly became a constant friend. He was gay, and REALLY helped me find the courage to come out to my family and myself. My parents didn't take it very well, and I ended up moving out again, with my friend. He and I were great friends, but bad influences, and I once again gained a lot of weight. After our lease was up, I moved out into my own place, and began drinking quite a bit. Ironically I lost a lot of weight when I was drinking, but eventually that destructive behavior caught up with me too, and I ended up quitting my job (the day they were going to fire me), and going into an outpatient rehab program.
Fast-forward a year (2003), I'm sober, living at home again, and maintaining my 250lb weight.
September of that year I was having severe abdominal pains, but was uninsured, so I held off going to the doctor as long as possible. Finally I had my sister take me one day, and was diagnoses with a UTI. I was given antibiotics and told if it didn't improve to come back the next day. The next morning I couldn't get out of bed, and my mom came home from work and took me to the hospital. I had a CT and was rushed into emergency surgery because my appendix had ruptured. I ended up in the hospital for almost two weeks with septicemia. Following surgery, one of the doctors came in and told me how difficult surgery was because of the excess fat in my stomach, and advised me to take my weight more seriously. That didn't happen. I maintained my weight for the next few years, even through moving from Washington to Arizona, ending an on & off again 3 year relationship and finding myself in a state with nobody I knew.
Right after I turned 25, I met someone, and began, what would be a horrific and dangerous 2-year relationship. I gained weight, began drinking and cutting again. My health went out of control. My kidneys started shutting down, my liver was so enlarged it was pushing into my lungs, my joints ached constantly, I couldn't breathe if I walked up stairs, or more than 1/4 of a mile. It was one of the lowest points in my life. I went on a diet, and forced myself to exercise in the 100*+ weather of Tucson. I did good and lost almost 40 pounds - and immediately developed gallstones (which is common with rapid weight loss). I ended up having my gallbladder removed in December of 2006. After that, I fell back into a pattern of eating at home, and maintained the weight I had lost. In 2007 I started a new friendship with a woman that lived in my apartment complex. After a few months, it turned into a relationship; she is an amazing and supportive woman, who also happens to be a chubby chaser. Shortly after we began dating, her mother became ill and we agreed to move 300 miles north to be with her family. Her mother passed away before we moved, but we went up 2 months later to be closer to her father and younger sister.
In September of 2008, I was taking a health class at the local community college, and we were challenged to live a vegan lifestyle for 12 days. After 5 days, I felt so much better, I didn't look back. Over the next 8 months, I lost almost 75 pounds. My kidney function returned, my liver shrank slightly (it was still huge, but it was better), and I had so much hope for my future.
Being vegan in a small town in Northern Arizona was extremely difficult and expensive, and in 2010 we ended up moving back to Tucson, Arizona. At this point in my veganism, I had found every carb-rich food that was still vegan (Frito's, Oreo's, meat replacements, McDonald's apple pies, vegan ice cream, etc) and began packing weight on again. I hit 300 pounds and showed no signs of stopping.
In March of 2011, my grandfather became ill and I simultaneously quit my job. In April I flew to Washington to help coordinate hospice care for my grandfather, and ended up staying. Over the next year, I remained vegan while living with my very carnivorous parents, my grandfather passed away, I started a new job and my partner stayed in Tucson while our lease ran it's course and she worked. We knew we would be apart for a year, so we both had these grand plans to lose weight, so when we saw each other it would be a surprise. My best friend began a strict diet and exercise plan at this time, and I had every intention of starting with her. I came up with excuses not to, and ended up gaining a few pounds. She kept at it and I watched her weight fall, heard her stories of how much better she felt, how hard it was (but worth it), and saw the pictures of how amazing she looked. Around Christmas I started beating myself up for not sticking to the plan like she did, she had lost a lot of weight and looked amazing, whereas I had gained and felt horrible. I had taken to hiding food in my room at my parents' house because I was ashamed of how much I was eating and how much weight I had gained.
In March of 2012, my wonderful partner made the trek up to Washington with our 4 cats in her tiny, tiny car. Once she got here, it was like a feeding frenzy! I had to take her to all my favorite restaurants, my mom had to cook all sorts of big meals for us, it was crazy! In August I ended up giving up on my vegan lifestyle (at this point I had gained back all of the weight I had lost anyway). After that, it went downhill quickly. I felt the need to eat everything I had missed out on for the previous 3 years, and in abundance!
Not surprisingly, I gained more and more weight, and in May of 2013, I hit 350lbs. I again developed kidney problems, my liver became grossly enlarged again, I was having multiple GI problems, my skin was breaking out - I was eating approximately 6,000 calories a day and drinking nothing but Dr. Pepper.
I sat down with my parents, and they offered to pay for weight loss surgery. I had always rejected the idea before, thinking I didn't need anything so extreme, my problem was just my laziness. This time, I really thought about it - I did some research, and I discovered the sleeve gastrectomy procedure. No huge maintenance, no re-routing of guts, no ports, no dumping syndrome - I was set!
I went to a seminar put on by a local surgeon, and I was sold. I reported back to my parents and we made a plan. I had my initial consultation with him on July 2nd, and began my high-protein/low carb diet the next day. Due to the size of my liver, he put me on high-protein/low-carb for seven days, and then I was to start the clear liquids with 3 protein shakes on July 10th, thru my surgery date. My surgeon has a lot of pre-surgery requirements, and while my insurance wouldn't cover the surgery itself, if my PCP was on board to write the orders, I could use my insurance for the pre-op testing.
July 9th I went to my PCP and told her what I was having done, and she agreed to order my blood work, EKG and Pulmonary Function Test. I had the EKG and PFT done in her office that day then went over and had my 19 vials of blood drawn. Later that day I found out she ordered all my labs under the wrong diagnosis code (she used Obesity) and they were immediately declined by my insurance. I'm still battling that $3,000 bill. I sent her office a message and asked her to correct the diagnosis codes on my orders, but she refused, saying it was insurance fraud. (I was asking her to use one of the many codes that my surgeon's office provided, all which applied to me, but none that would be denied by my insurance.) She refused, and I ended up finding a new PCP.
July 15th I went and saw my new PCP, and she re-ordered all my remaining tests. That afternoon I had my EGD with my surgeon, where he discovered a small hiatal hernia that he will take care of during surgery.
I had to schedule all my testing around my work schedule, so it was somewhat hectic, and took much longer than I would have liked.
July 22nd I had my abdominal ultrasound (my liver is down to 17cm! Normal is 6-12cm, but still!)
July 23rd I had my 2-view chest XRay and Upper GI Swallow study.
July 24th I attended the required Pre-Op Educational Class put on by my surgeon's office.
July 25th I had gone in for my bone density scan, but there was still too much contrast in my stomach from my GI Swallow on the 23rd, so I had to reschedule.
July 26th I drove to my surgeon's office and had to weigh in (I was down 26 pounds in 24 days).
July 28th I did my 24hour urine collection.
July 29th I turned in my urine collection and had my bone density scan again. There was still contrast in my system, but after I broke down in tears on the table, the radiologist agreed to read it and make a note that it was limited due to contract.
July 30th (today) I had my psych eval.
August 1st I have my final internal medicine clearance.
If all works as planned, on August 1st I will be taking a big fat check into my surgeon's office and scheduling my surgery for August 14th. I will also schedule my pre-op appointment with him, as well as my 1-week follow up.
SO! It has been a HELL of a journey, but here I am. 28 pounds down from July 2nd, and ready to start my new life.
I have proven to myself that I have the determination, strength and desire to see this through and live the life I'm meant to live.
Thank you for reading my very long post!
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
The worst thing about being overweight is what you do to yourself; physically and emotionally. Nobody is as mean to me about my weight as I am.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I had my surgery 7 days ago, and already I'm walking easier - I can't wait to see what the future brings for me :)
inkyinkerton
