Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I have been overweight since I was a child. As an overweight 5 or 6 year old, life wasn't always easy. I had some friends but was never "popular". I am so thankful that I always had a supporting family around me, telling me how beautiful, smart, and charismatic I was--because without that, I don't know where I'd be. Having such a "rock" in my family, I developed into a self-confident teenager who disregarded what my peers said. My sense of self got me through many "fatty" jokes and comments. But that's not to say that words don't hurt..because they do.
As I got older, I ate out of boredom or depression. I wasn't going out on Friday and Saturday nights with my friends like all of my peers were doing. I wasn't invited to the movies or dance parties. I would sit at home, get a high piled plate of takeout Chinese, and curl up to a movie. It felt so filling to eat a big plate.
When I graduated from high school, my food addiction only got worse. Living away from home I ballooned from 240 pounds to 280 pounds at my highest. Nearing 300 pounds, I knew I had to do something. At first, I was very resistant to the idea of weight loss surgery. I felt, as many do, WLS was the "easy way out" and that I would be cheating myself of the ultimate challenge in my life. After struggling for another year or so, I decided to have surgery. I went under the knife on May 26, 2010.
Today, I still struggle with my weight. I still get the urge to go on crash diets. I'm still trying to lose those last 5, 10, or 15 pounds. But I also have a much more relaxed relationship with food. Food still means a lot to mean--it means comfort, family, joy, favor, living, etc... but food is not my escape from boredom, it is no longer my drug calling me to get my fix. It is just so relaxing to not have to worry about food at the time like I did before surgery.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
Being overweight is just so uncomfortable. It's almost like a disability. Your pants fall down (no matter how tight they are) and you spend your time pulling them up. You can't cross your legs. You can't walk up a couple flights of stairs without feeling winded. You can't wear dresses. Your thighs constantly rub together..and they sweat. Heels are painful. Swimsuits are a no-no. My face looked like it was stung by a bee. I looked swollen or bloated constantly. Skinny people assume you're lazy, don't care about your health, and have no self-discipline. You have to constantly overcompensate for your looks with your personality (ever notice that people expect fat people to be funny?).
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I love crossing my legs. I love wearing dresses. I love running 5Ks. I love dressing up and going out and watching men come up to me.. as shallow as that sounds. I am young--and so excited to finally be living like it. I love shopping, trying on new clothes, and being a girl. I can walk (moderate pace) across campus from class to class and not get winded or sweaty. I used to walk to class so sweaty that I had to go to the bathroom first and wipe off my face and try to cool myself down before having to sit next to some poor person. Overall, I mostly enjoy the fact that my weight is not the center of my life. It doesn't define me. It's not the first thing that people see when they meet me. I am now able to define myself with my interests, my personality, or even what I wear or do.
blair94
