Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I’ve been trying to qualify for gastric bypass for what seems like forever. I know I know, I’m overweight; it’s all my fault; I should have done more to fix myself, but it’s not that easy for me, and if you hear my whole story, I promise I’ll try to cover as many questions as possible. I’ll start with some history:
I’ve been overweight since I was in 1st grade. I had a severe lazy eye as a child so I was always made fun of for it. It was annoying but I moved past it. I mean kids are mean, but at least I had my NES waiting for me when I got home right? After I had surgery for my eye, I had to wear one of those ginormous patches for what seemed like ages.(I hate to break it to you Disney, but I was more qualified to be Jane Sparrow then Johnny Depp)
First on my right eye, then on my left so my right one could build up strength again. I don’t think I need to tell you that this just made the taunting and teasing even worse. In retrospect I think I did a fairly good job with trying to contain my emotions, but it did mean I sequestered myself away from everyone and trying to eat away my emotions and play video games.
On top of this, I am the child of Eastern European immigrants, immigrants whose sole link back to their home country is food. This means that rather than eating normally as a child, I’m now subjected to super high calorie meals in which it is not only suggested, but implied that the more I eat, the happier I make my parents and accept their heritage. My best example would have to be something as simple as salad. I would assume most kids eat salad sparingly if at all and it might have ranch or Italian dressing on it. The typical salad had to have sour cream, heavy cream, salt, pepper, sugar, vinegar, and dill. And it wasn’t just a small bowl. I would not be allowed to leave the table until I ate every last bit. (This is on top of sneaking/ emotional eating) But I can’t blame my parents. I did have free will, eventually, but it’s hard to break a cycle like that when that’s pretty much all you remember.
The good thing to come out of all of this is that once I moved out of my parents’ house, I really did do a 180 on my diet. I went from 300+ pounds the first year I was outside of the house down to about 265 when I was 22. The bad news is that all that point a large portion of the damage had already been done. I had developed Chronic GERD/Reflux, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and just walking around was painful on my joints. But I fought, oh how I fought tooth and nail. I went to Barnes and Noble twice a week and bought recipe books. Books on Low Carb, Low Fat, South Beach, etc. etc. I kept reading about easy substitutes in high calories meals, and with a limited budget I tried to emulate these meals. As I said before, between the ages of 18 and 22 I lose roughly 40 pounds, trying to undo a childhood of emotional eating, and misplaced pride. So here I am now standing on the steps of what is a new life and I'm still a little bit afraid of what lies ahead. Not because it is unknown, but because it is new, and I will need people to help me through the mud and the wind to climb this mountain and come out victorious.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
The judgement in everyone's eyes, when they talk to you, when you are applying for a job, everything. Also, I have TERRIBLE reflux (there is not a day where I do not have it) I also have a hiatal hernia, PCOS, and my hips and back hurt every night
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I have not had the surgery yet
Relic_Goddess
