Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
Wow, where to begin. I cannot ever remember being anything other than fat. As a little girl I was always bigger than the girls my own age. I can't remember not being on a diet, thinking about the next diet, or having someone else tell me about this great diet that worked for them. I remember my mom saying "Beauty is only skin deep" or " You would be so pretty if you lost weight" Which in my own mind translated to "you're UGLY" Also meaning that "Fat is ugly". Relationships in my family were distant and cold and my comfort was on my plate. I love spicy foods and Pasta's. I LOVE to eat way too much of them. I married a man twice my age 23 years ago. He has done so many wonderful things for me including telling me how smart and beautiful I am. Encouraging me to pursue a nursing career and backing me in every decision I have made. This decision in 2003 was the only one he ever wavered on. The risks were huge. But he stood right there by me every step of the way. Holding my hand and my hair when I over ate and had to run for the toilet. This surgery is not a quick fix. It is a tool and utilized properly can be the answer. I still battle with food. I am still a very emotional eater. I love the way it tastes, and the warmth inside. It soothes. Currently I have re-gained 40 pounds. Why, because I stopped using this precious tool. I also quit using ObesityHelp daily. I think you have to remember how you made the decision to have the surgery and then return to it. I am determined to show people that a regain doesn't mean you failed, it means you have another goal to reach for. Follow me folks I'M GOING PLACES!
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
Never dating. Yep, I never had a real date. You know where some boy in school talked to you then got up the courage to ask you out then paid for your meal and a movie. Never got that. I missed it because I grew up in the 80's and that was not a good time to be obese. My Senior year I was the biggest girl in my class well over 200 pounds. No boy even looked at me unless he was making a joke. Senior prom I went alone. Why humiliate myself, I don't know. I wanted to have a memory. I did....I ended up wearing a pink mother of the bride dress because I couldn't fit into the pretty ones. I decided to go two weeks before prom and they just could not order a dress in my size that quick. I think out of everything that is what the worst was for me. I sat at home every weekend my entire High School years.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I LOVE going to a store and trying on outfits. That was such a nightmare before that usually ended with me going home in tears with an outfit that I didn't really want. I love slipping on a pair of jeans and not having to lay across the bed and pull the zipper up with the crook of a clothes hanger and then worrying that the zipper would give and I would have another humiliating moment to remember. I just like feeling somewhat normal. If a head turns I don't worry as much that they are saying mean hurtful things. I can walk from the very last parking space and not feel exhausted when I get to the door. I DON'T HAVE TO DRESS IN CLOTHES DESIGNED FOR MATRONLY GRANDMOTHERS! I can feel pretty! For the very first time in my life. I can feel pretty!
Lisa M.
