Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I was not heavy as a child.I married and divorced 3 times, so i believe that most of my weight issues are emotional and stress related. I tried all kinds of diets. South beach, Atkins, Phen Phen, y'all know the list. I seemed to gain back all the weight I would lose and then some each time. I had the bypass Dec.31, 2008, I have lost about 115lbs. I still struggle with the emotional issues i had before, even though I have since remarried to a wonderful man. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see that 250lb woman. I often have to remind myself that I cannot solve my anxiety with jack in the box tacos. I still catch myself looking in the fridge and thinking to myself, you know you don't want or need anything in there. The weightloss has helped me emotionally and mentally but it is still a major struggle in my life.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
The worst part of being overweight for me was the feeling that I was embarrassing to my husband.(He was never embarrassed of me that was all my way of thinking) My husband is tall and thin and here I was short and round. I hated the thought of him looking at me the way I looked at myself. (He never did) My husband loved me just as much then as he does now. I also felt that my children were embarrassed, they werent either. It was all in my head. Another thing that was horrible for me was that I know my mother hated the fact that I was overweight and everytime she mentioned it i headed straight for Jack in the box. I harbored a lot of resentment towards her for saying anything and towards myself for feeling the way I did. I hated myself everyday. A little more each day.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I enjoy going to the beach and wearing a bikini, even though I am too old for it. I don't care. I earned the right and everyone that doesn't like can look the other direction. I also enjoy playing with my grand daughter out in the yard, taking her for walks with her wagon, and even chasing the dogs around in the yard, playing with them. Most of all I love standing next to my wonderful husband not feeling like a fat slug that holds him back. I really enjoy the Christmas party at my husbands job because i get to dress up and not look like I a fat slob. I was never slobbish, but I felt like if I did put my makeup on or do my hair just right I drew more attention. Now I do it because I want to not because I feel like I have too. I can run to the store with my hair in a pony tail and not feel like I am being stared at by every skinny woman in the store and looked at like I am disgusting by every man.
terrivian
