Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I'm 68 yrs old. I was an only child with ADHD / undiagnosed till recently. My childhood was miserable as my parents did not get me help / nor did the school I went to for K-6. I was always in trouble and physically and emotionally abused by my parents and the kids in the neighborhood. I've used food as my "CRUTCH" forever. I occasionally lost weight on various diets but never maintained the loss. After my husband suddenly died in 2/09, I ballooned up to 330 lbs. I started to have difficulty walking around and would become short of breath. I was a working nurse so I new the danger I was in. The hospital I work in does bariatric surgery so I had the Roen - Y in 9/01. I lost 150 lbs in about a year while going to some of the monthly gastric meetings but didn't feel comfortable, thought it was too cliquish so I stopped, but continued to maintain my weight. In '04, I needed to have a total hysterectomy, hernia repair and also had a tummy tuck. Of course, I felt better and looked better, could do everything I did when I was thinner. But my weight started to climb up after that and I gained 50 lbs. I get the "dumping syndrome" when I eat solid food so I graze on high calorie snack foods and drinks all day because it felt better going down. I tried to stop myself but couldn't. I started to realize that there is a defiant streak in me. I didn't want to look at my "bad" habits, or journal or use a food log. I wanted "magic". I never looked for a site like this to try to help myself. The weight kept creeping up. In 2/11, I had a lap revision, but they told me they didn't make it too narrow because of my age. I again lost about 25 lbs but I was still miserable because I still ate like before. What has made it worse this last year, is that people tell me how good I look while I was starting to gaining back the weight. I was even going to our gastric monthly meeting and still defiant. So, again I had another revision this Feb 14. A gift to myself. I realize there is no "magic". It has sunk in! If I don't work on myself and come first for myself nothing will ever change. I got this site from the nutritionist who spoke at our last meeting. I'm thinking of getting a nutritionist to help me work out a plan since I had stopped cooking for myself. I'm currently on a full liquid diet, for the next week. I do get very hungry esp at nite but I have been managing to drink more water and keep busy even if I do something for only 15 min at a time and then switching. Otherwise, I'm only hurting myself. I feel this is my last chance. This has been very cathartic. thank you for letting me share.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

EVERYTHING!!! Health problems Hiding in plain site Not wanting to look good Clothes never fitting properly Feeling out of control is the worst for me

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Taking better care of myself. Making better decisions. A coming together of mind and body. I don't like to exercise but I have been forcing myself.