Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I have been overweight since i was a small child. i was placed on a Doctor controlled diet for the first time when i was seven years old. Throughout my teenage years, i starved, binged and purged and kept my weight under shaky control, about 175lbs. Then i started college and ballooned up with the stress, inactivity, and general nursing school woes. By the time i graduated i weighed 290lbs. i began exercising, started a new vegetarian high protien diet and lost around 100lbs, which i was able to keep off until i got knocked up. Since that time, i lost and gained around 75-100lbs.
In 2008, I was diagnosed with increased intercranial pressure, which was causing me to loose vision in my left eye, and the neurologist suggested wls as he felt it was the only answer to getting the weight off, which was a major cause of the condition. So in Aug 2009, i had rny. i lost 200lbs and so far its in my past. I still struggle with wanting to eat foods i shouldnt, and get stressed out and sometimes want to eat. it is diffucult to fill the void food left in my life. I know everyone is all touchy feely and just in love with their new bodies, but i remain skepticle that i can pull this off forever.
It is deffinitely a tool, not a cure all, you are still the same person and have the same insecurities after the surgery and loosing the weight. I guess its like an alcoholic. I'm sure some people think that is ridiculous, but it is a fact we all know. Often i look in the mirror and cant believe its me. I have not had an easy time eating, i have no appetite, and i cant tolerate many foods (they just don't go down). I also have reactive hypoglycemia, but i stay away from sweets, alcohol and carbs of the unhealthy type.
Don't get me wrong, the struggles i face now with my weight are much less than before, and it is not on my mind 24/7 the way it used to be.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
The feelings of self loathing and feeling not good enough are the worst. Since i have always been overweight, even when i wasnt "morbidly obese" the thought i just didnt measure because i couldnt control my weight was how i always felt.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I enjoy roller derby haha. I would never in a million years attempted roller skating when i was larger. I can't say I have had a major shopping spree since losing the weight, but i can deffinitely find cute clothes cheaper now:)
Sparkly Mama
