Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I am rather young, only 24 currently and was 23 when I first looked into WLS. I knew about it long before but always thought if I just concentrate and put forth the effort that eventually I would lose the weight. I have been heavy almost every day of my life since I was a little girl. I have memories or being teased in early grades because certain body parts were bigger than other girls'. It was hell going through school as one of the only larger girls around. There really weren't many my whole school career. Then there was my family; I have a large family and not one of them was obese. I was the only one and not only was I obese, but morbidly obese with a lot of health problems and they were all only getting worse. I got picked on by my family all the time- little things but it really doesn't matter how small the comment is when you are going through your developmental years. It sticks with you... forever... and now I see myself commenting on the person I used to be just like everyone else did. I will sit down or try something new and comment on how I would never be able to do that before because I was just too big. Or I hated that I couldn't do this or that because I was too fat.
I never really thought I had that much of an eating problem because I never ate that much in front of anyone. And I was around people most of the day... but then when I would go home I would eat in mass quantities. It wasn't usually anything too terribly unhealthy, usually something like Subway plus chips plus a desert. BUT a footlong Subway with extra mayo and ranch, a big bag of Cheetos, a whole container of low fat ice cream... you get the picture. After surgery I thought back and realized what was really going on. Sometimes after work I would seriously drive around for an hour "collecting" food from various places. Chinese, fries, ice cream, etc... That just isn't right. So, I never thought I had a strong connection with food but looking back I was clearly wrong. And now that I am almost to my goal weight and the initial effects of the surgery are starting to wear down and life is going back to "normal" I am noticing that I do rely on food more than I would like to and now am working hard to change that. At least now I can work on that bad habit starting at a normal and controllable weight rather than trying to change at 400 lbs...
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
Being imprisoned... Either I wouldn't allow myself to do something because my mind had me trapped- believing that I couldn't without even trying. I was embarrassed of my weight to such an extent that I couldn't even consider the thought of trying something and failing because I couldn't handle it. Or other people would keep me locked inside of myself by making comments or giving looks that just made me feel unwelcome. Then there were the purely physical aspects of it. I physically couldn't fit anywhere- chairs, rides, cars, clothes... humiliating! This all contributed to the absolute worst part of it, though which was the mental repercussions of being overweight. I went through severe depression, was on many medications, and had pretty severe anxiety and social fears. All of which are pretty much gone and cured now. Not because I had surgery but because I took full advantage of my tool and worked very hard to completely change every aspect of my life. My job, my family, my relationships with friends, my attitude, and my personality... Absolutely everything about my life is totally different and a million times better now. I wouldn't change it for anything!!
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I enjoy doing everything and I can do anything now that I couldn't do before. My surgeon had me make a list of things before surgery that I hoped one day I would be able to do. I think he was expecting maybe 10-20 things on my list but it was more like well over 100. There were so many things I dreamed of doing and I counted them down to the very smallest detail like being able to get out of my car without having to rely on the steering wheel or kneeling on the floor, or having a lap for a child to sit on. I was in a bad place and knew that wasn't how life was supposed to be lived... Now I am working on getting my personal training certification, I work out regularly without pain or hesitation or excuses- but just because I love it! I can sit anywhere, I go anywhere and don't find myself saying that I cant do something anymore. If I've never done it before, I try it! If I have failed at it before I'm not afraid to try again. If I could be it before, I'm better at it now! I know that WLS was a vital tool in this journey, but between you and me I give myself all the credit. I am the one who made the decision completely on my own to research it and seek it out, follow through for 6 months with the ups and downs of dealing with the insurance on top of ALL of the appointment! I followed the rules, and made a decision to change my life forever and worked very hard at it when I didn't HAVE to.
shoven21187
