Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I have had a lifelong love affair with sugar and all of its incarnations. I was a chubby baby, normal-sized toddler, chubby preteen, normal-size teen, then by the time I was 19, whoosh! Hips and thighs extravaganza! That's because my early attempts to control my sugar addiction consisted of weeks or even several months of dedication to fad diets, weight loss programs, or lifestyle changes (Atkins, cabbage soup, one-meal-a-day, vegetarianism, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc) before a major slip-up or delusional thought would take hold such as "I'm strong enough to be able to enjoy a cookie or piece of candy without falling apart. Look how far I've come!" would send me down the shameful spiral of cravings, loss of self control and eventual regain with bonus pounds to spare. The bonus pounds were always like a bully giving you an extra kick when you are down . "And that will teach not to mess with that weight loss crap again. Better not if you know what's good for ya!" Some family and friends would share my shame while others would inflict more as if I didn't have enough which fueled social withdrawal, self-loathing, and comfort food binges. I know why it's called "comfort food" because it feels good for the short time you're inhaling it. Then you survey the carnage you just participated in, feel even worse, then get amnesia about the whole experience later and do it again for the "quick-fix feel good". Then one day you realize, "Hey, I have a ton of health problems, can't go to a store unless they have motorized carts, can't sleep unless I strap on my "stealth rocket mask", and my bonus pounds have morphed into an additional human being - that's ALSO overweight! Seriously, that's no way to live and there certainly is no future in it - at least not one with any quality of life. At 18 I was 5'4, and 136 lbs, which in the old days was a size 7/8 on me. At the beginning of this last and final journey, my weight reached 400 lbs. in early October of 2011. Near the end of that month I had my first appointment with the weight management doctor and had managed to painstakingly reduce to 384lbs with a BMI of 65.43. Conquering the cravings through my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year while preparing for surgery were quite the challenge but unlike my past patterns, there is a future in this. A bright, and healthy one that is worth the challenges!

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The worst thing about being overweight for me has been social rejection, and lack of mobility. I've long gotten over being sensitive that people are looking or whispering about me. They ARE looking. But I don't like it when people make value judgements of me as a human being or speak to me condescendingly as if I am unintelligent. Most of all I hate being unable to physically enjoy many activities that I took for granted like walking without debilitating pain, going to concerts and theaters and sitting comfortably in the seats, as well as air travel without encroaching on someone else's space and having to ask for an "extender belt."

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

My surgery date is January 31, 2012. My transformation has already begun .