Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

Over weight all my life since about age 6 by at least 50lb, and into adulthood more than 100lbs. I like food. Its emotional comfort. Society and home life taught me to use it as a social tool, interactions, and good times Television shows even today good times and family comfort are built around the kitchen, and sharing meals. Its part of what society life is about, sharing food and social interaction,even those without weight problems.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

Feeling like a freak, being stared at and discriminated against, and treated less than or like someone with no control or flat out stupid. Feeling bad about myself all the time, and feeling like life was over. No future, no hope. Cursed. Alone.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

I had RYN August 28,2003. Starting Weight 485lbs. I lost 221lbs. 50% of body weight. Lowest weight 264lbs. That was 8 years ago. I had a regain after 4 years, over a two year period. I regained 70lbs. I have lost 25 of that 70lbs in the 2 years, but its been real hard work. I am trying to get back to my lowest weight after RYN, and then continue down to a reasonable goal that I feel good at. Choosing to have the surgery changed my life, because it changed my attitude along with the weight loss. It was the choice to do it, even more than the surgery itself that changed me. I was terrified, but I made the choice anyway. The alternative left without hope. I will never regret making that choice, because of the change in my mindset and spirit. It saved my life. The change in attitude was affected by the way life (the world around me) responded to my changes, and my willingness to learn, change, and put action to the wishes/wants/desire, and accept responsibility that MY ACTION/CHOICES would determine my future fate. It was on me. No one else. It might not be fair, or just, or my choices that got me where I was by myself, but it would be my choices put to action that determine the quality of my world/life--The Living. Is not easy. I'm still working on it, but I will never give up again. I will fight for this, even against myself, until my final breath, and that is the biggest change in me of all--my attitude and thought processes. I believe in positive thought, laws of attraction, and personal choice. Personal choice put to action is the power any human truly has that his/hers alone, and cannot be taken. You choose Your Reaction, whether you create or make the choices or circumstances around you. Your reaction to everything is your power--follow up with actual action itself. Thought alone will not make change, but it is a start if you follow it up with actual action, and hold the path till the end. I'm still fighting, but I am holding the PATH!! Some of changes that physically affected me, gave me life again are: I can buy my cloths in a store instead wear tents-having clothes made specially for me. I get on on an airplane and fly, wherever. I can take vacations as I can afford them, and time allows. I am not physically restricted by size from doing these things. My body is smaller. People don't stare at me. At first I was shocked people didn't even notice me much, especially children when standing in lines. I had to get use to not being started at. I am realitive normal looking compared to most Americans. I'm shocked when I see my shadow. I can see a female, and not a HUTT. @@ Yes, that was a star wars reference. I thought it too, before WLS. I did not feel feminine. I felt like an IT. I see possibilities in my shadow. Hope of better times ahead. Better times already living in the here and now. I am living in the here and now, not watching or observing life. I changed my life, and moved from Texas to Florida, and I am living a dream that might not have happen otherwise. I am healthier, and able to get around still. I still have a ways to go, but I am able to live my life now instead of just existing, and accepting any ole thing life wanted to through at me, because I felt trap and hopeless. Now, despite angst, problems and the chaos of life, I hold hope now. I am living life instead of watching it, and I believe life is good. I expect and believe in good things coming my way in the future. I will reach a goal I can be happy at.