How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I was 9. Mom had it. My first impression of it was not good at all. First of all, my mom had to leave and be in the hospital and that was horrible. I felt all alone, even though I wasn't. To watch my mom have that pain, and that cut, oh my Gosh! I thought she was dying in front of me. It was amazing to see her take all that medication. I became her little helper and would prepare her meds for her. I was sure I would never, ever have this surgery...so I thought. When I was 30 it felt like the lowest point of my life. Nothing could orwould go my way. I was always sad, tied, hungry, crying, or trying to hurt myself. I started to research the WLS and found it was very different than what my mom had gone through. I was almost overloaded with information some times. I was scared, but I knew im my heart that this was my future.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Getting approved for this surgery was a breeze. My insurance was totally commited to covering this 100%. The only problem I had was getting the people who worked for my primary care physician to do their jobs right. It seemed like I knew more about forms and procedures than they did. Very irritating. I made a lot of calls. I advise anyone to make calls. Put the pressure on. Have them do their jobs. Just remember that all these people work for you. They are there to help in any way. Respect is a must. If you are obese, have the co-mobidities, and you have decided to have the WLS, just make sure you are set in your mind. It all begins there. You must be 100% into this transformation. This is not a miracle cure. It is a tool and you must learn how to use it correctly or you will hurt yourself. If you can't commit to a total lifestyle change, this is not for you. It is worth it to me. Everything I have experienced has made me that much stronger and I thank God every day that he helped me make this decision. It was the correct one for me. Look inside of yourself. That's where your answer is.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My first visit with the surgeon, Dr. Obeid, was in an orientation. I was weighed for the first time in 9 years. I cried. I didn't want to know that particular number. A nurse checked my vitals and asked about my history with health, diets, and family. I was taken into a classroom type setting and there were about 15 of us people there. We all listened to a nutritionist. We asked questions. We got real answers. We all listened to a nurse. We got a lot of good information. Dr. Obeid sat with us last. He was polite, friendly, and really seemed to care. What I think was his best sttribute was that he was very strainght forward. He told us like it was. If he helped us with this tool, he expected us to follow all the rules and do exactly what was asked of us. He point blank told us the harm we could do to ourselves. We could die. After he gave us all his information, we could ask questions. Before you go to this appointment, write down any questions, even ones you think are stupid. You know what? There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. You need, need, need to ask a lot of questions.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

My children. They love their mommy and I want to be here for them. For myself, I wanted to have the surgery so I could experience how it felt to be healthy and possibly happy.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I knew I wanted this tool to be with me for my lifetime. I wanted the open kind of WLS because to me it was important that the surgeon see everything inside of me and I wanted to make sure he had all the space he needed to do the job right. Yes, the laproscopic type would have been easier to heal, but it was kind of scary to me. I researched all the different kinds and weighed the pros and cons. I had to do what my heart and mind agreed on.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I did think I was going to die. I knew I was going to die if I didn't have the WLS, so why not at least try. I was scared that my incision would pop open. I was scared of everything. I realized that was all OK, because you have to consider every feeling you have. I did have a problem coming off the ventilator. I was told I couldn't breath on my own. They had to put it back in again and were getting ready to do CPR on me. They went and told my husband that they almost lost me. He was devistated, but thanked God that I had made it through. Having support is very important. It really helps to have people in your corner. On the other hand, this decision cannot be made from what other people say or what they want for you. This still is one of the most personal decisions to make for yourself.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My family and friends were by my side from the very first time I mentioned that I was considering the WLS. Coming from a family who had dealt with the WLS first hand, that made it easier for people to understand. My sisters were so happy. They had seen me be depressed and locked in my house for many years. I didn't even go to the store. I didn't cook, clean, get dressed, and sometimes didn't even bathe. I missed out on a lot of important family events and times that couldn't be replaced. I slept through many years of my life. They were thrilled that I had finally "woken up from my slumber". I truly have been blessed with a lot of love.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I haven't worked since 1998. That's when I had my nervous breakdown. I was starting a new job and was headed out the door, but I couldn't go out it. I lost my breath, I couldn't think, I totally freaked out. It was the first of many panic attacks. I decided to get help at that moment. I gave in to all the years of abuse and neglect and sadness. I am itching to get back to work now. I really want to be a helping partner to my husband and to show my children the right way to live and be. Happy.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My hospital stay was very good. I had my own room. I was lucky. I wanted my stay to be personal and all about me. My room was clean. I had the best nurses I could ask for. I didn't rely on them much though. I wanted that day, February 21, 2004 to be the day I started to take care of myself. I had depended on my husband to take care of me, like an infant. I relied on him for everything. I only called the nurse to help me with medications for pain, or to take that wonderful first shower. I think I was in there for over an hour. LOL! The staff were very helpful and friendly. My surgeon came to see me every day and answered any questions I had. He let me know exacly what happened suring surgery and what I had been through. The most important thing to bring, I think, is a picture of loved ones. Sometimes I got so lonely and it helped to have a visual of what was important to me. Chapstick. Your lips will feel like sunbeaten leather. Personal things like your brand of shampoo and conditioner, soap, brush, those are so important. You need some of home there with you.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

The only problem I had was coming of the ventilator. I didn't want to breathe on my own. They had to reinsert the tube and wait a while for me to come out of the anesthsia(sp) more so I could breathe on my own. I really must have been knocked out. Thank goodness! When I woke up I instantly remembered what had happened in the OR. I knew it before anyone told me. I called the nurse over and told her that I remembered trauma. She looked at me very funny. She asked me what I meant. I told her that I remembered hearing what they were saying and the noise of them running around to hook me up again. I had visual pictures too. I remembered seeing them running around, I seen the machines and everything. She then told me that I had sat up and looked around, but they thought I was totally unconscious. She was pretty amazed that I was correct about things that I had heard and saw. I think remembering everything helped me to understand just what I had been through and how delicate we all are. It sure helped me to deal with the feelings of being scared and let me know just how strong I could be.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I was on cloud nine. I had only 4 weeks from being approved to actually having the WLS. I felt great, nervous, scared, happy, and anxious. The anxiety was pretty tremendous. The nerves in my body twitched more than usual. It was like being a little girl all over again, waiting to see Santa at the mall. It was like when I walked down the aisle to marry my husband. It was like the butterflies I had when I was on the way to the hospital to have my children. It was scary but awesome. The hardest thing to deal with was feeling scared about everything. I was scared that my incision would open, drain, or develope a hernia. I was scared when I thought of having to go to my appointments and have other people look at me. I was scared to open up to anyone. I used my fat to hide, to not be a part of life.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

It was wonderful to be home. I was comfortable. My husband and kids had everything there I needed. My husband fixed up our bed with folded blankets under the head of it to prop it up so I would be comfortable. This is the time that I took for myself to heal. I rested. I ate my diet and drank my proteins. It was a time to start new habits of eating and vitamins, and thinking. I read a lot. I studied all my information. I kept visitors to a minimum. I wanted to have peace. It went surprisingly easy. My husband helped me shower the first few times. I wanted him to be there in case I got dizzy or needed any help. I'm glad I did. I felt safer. I was up every day, walking on my treadmill. I found myself smiling. Amazing. I was out visiting family within the first week. With my binder on, jug of water in hand, my pillow, and my husband and kids with me, we went for rides to family's houses, or just for a plain old ride to get out of the house. It was so great. My incision was healing well. There was no drainage. The only pain I really had was the stapling on the inside tummy. If I sneezed or coughed it felt like I was going to rip it open. I didn't go anywhere without my "pillow". The hospital gave me a small, hard pillow just for those times when I needed to cough or sneeze. Placing it on my incision while pressing it into my stomach sure did help. I've grown attached to that pillow. I think I'll have it forever. After 2 weeks it was time to have my first checkup. I was excited. I was getting my staples out. My son went with me, he thinks my incision looked like Frankensteins. I got weighed. I looked at that new number and was in shock. I had lost over 38 pounds in 2 weeks. My first thought was that their scale was wrong. But...it wasn't! It didn't hit me until they took me to the exam room and I waited for the nurse. I cried like I had never cried before. I was so happy and amazed. I'm a crier. I carry my emotions on my sleeve and I show my feelings. The nurse totally understood. She was very supportive. She took my staples out. All 35 of them. I had quite a large incision. She stopped for me a few times to let me gather my strength up. I had healed so well that my skin around the staples was starting to close over the ends of them. It was a little painful, but nothing that Tylenol wouldn't help. Oh, expect your first times in the bathroom to have you wondering what to do. You'll be able to bend, bt you'll sure appreciate some help. This is no time for vanity. You either find someone who is willing to help clean you up, or you invent things and ideas in order to reach those far away spots that are hard to get to. Same thing for the shower. Until you can bend your body fully you have to compromise. Don't worry, every day you will feel better and you will heal a little. Just take it one day at a time and relax. Let your body rest.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

I was lucky to live about 10 minutes away from the hospital. It was easy access for my immediate family to visit every day and bring me things I wanted. Incidently, the day of my surgery we got the worst snow storm of the season and it was trecherous driving, but with it so close it was a blessing. My aftercare appointments are even closer to my house. The bariatric clinc is only about 5 minutes away, and group therapy is close too.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

From the time I got home and for the next 6 weeks I only ate condensed soups, sugar-free jellos, bananas, protein drinks, cream of wheat, oatmeal, mashed potatoes, broths and water. Lots of it. No meats, no breads, no sodas, no out to eat foods and no hard vegetables or fruits. Now, at 6 weeks out I can start to have shaved lunchmeats, tuna, chicken, pork chops, beans, vegetables that are soft and soft fruits. Your body will let you know what you can't have. Everything starts in your mind. You have to think about everything, read everything, and understand it all. Week to week I followed my information packets given to me to show how to introduce new foods. One week I wasn't able to tolerate milk, the next week I could. It's that way for all foods. You just have to go through the trial and error of trying things. Just don't push yourself. You'll only hurt yourself.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

My activity level was at 0 before the surgery. As a child and through school I was very active. I played high school sports, volleyball and softball. I was in many different activities like the school newspaper, choir, fundraisers, and things like office help and teacher's assistant. I married my husband and we had our children. Then I lost myself. I only sat around eating and getting bigger as I got more depressed. The day of my surgery was like being born again. I felt brand new, like someone had turned on a light switch inside of me. I was eager to get busy. I smiled so much more. Just to know that I had survived the surgery and I was in one piece was the first step. I got home from the hospital and just rested a lot. I knew I needed to be careful. For the first two weeks I only walked and rested. After those first 2 weeks I started to feel more energy. I wanted to go for car rides. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to be around loved ones. Sadly, I didn't want to be around anyone before. I couldn't believe just how wonderful I felt already. I hadn't lost that much weight, but I was already different, better, stronger. I was going stir crazy in the house so I started to see just how much I could do without hurting myself. I could do our laundry and clean as long as I was careful. I truly believe that by getting busy and doing things in the house that it helped me to heal really fast. I think it would have taken a lot longer if I had just done nothing.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

Since surgery I take 1200 mg's of Calcium a day, 1 complete vitamin, and 2 famotides a day(for gas). I also drink 3 protein shakes a day. I buy it at GNC. I signed up for their goldcard discount program and they call me at the beginning of each month to tell me what's on sale. I make sure to get my protein. If I happen to miss one, I sure can feel the difference in the next day or two. I've learned to listen to my body. It's now 3 months post-op and I don't have to take the famotide unless I have problems with gas.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

The only problem I had was about 3 weeks out and I had eaten dinner way too fast and I got awful pain in my stomach and I got sick. I was hoping I wouldn't experience that, but after it happened I was grateful to know so I wouldn't do it again. I didn't want to feel that awful pain again. I haven't lost any hair. It's still thick and healthy. Sleep was so different. I actually got some of it. Ha-ha. I can actually sleep better than I have in years. I don't have to wear my sleep apnea machine any more. My husband says my snoring has improved quite a bit. I still do have some nights where I can't sleep, but it's only due to normal stress of everyday life. Things are very easy for me to cope with since I have such a wonderful group of people in my life. If it weren't for my husband and kids I wouldn't have done this well. I'm truly blessed.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

Personally the worst part of the surgery for me was how I felt when I was put on the OR table. I was so alone. I was scared to death. I prayed that I would wake up to my family. I knew my health was bad and the chances of me coming back were slim. I was scared I wouldn't ever see my children again. My husband. The emotional pain was way more intense than any physical pain I had.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

We have a support grouop in our area that meets about once a month. I also have my friends and family who are my closest support group. It's very instrumental to use the support and to be as open as possible. There are no wrong questions, only wrong answers.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Ha-ha! It's a good thing I'm not vain, lol. My incision had 35 staples. I was filleted like a salmon. My scar is from about 4 inches below my breast bone to my belly button. It is huge. I was shocked when the nurse took off my bandage for the first time. I expected a big scar, but it was so much bigger than I thought I'd have. My home nurse Doris, who is wonderful and who is a new friend, measured it because she even said it was quite large. You know something, it's OK. It doesn't bother me a bit. I didn't have this surgery to look better, I wanted to feel better. Big difference. My kids think it's really cool. One of my new nicknames is Frakenstein's wife. Kids are so funny. The scar itself is very thin. Dr. Obeid did a wonderful job on me. I know it will get smaller over time, but I really don't care. I'm alive and feeling great. I'm totally healed now. It's been 3 months now and still haven't had any problems. I eat well, drink well, and sleep better than I have in years and years. It's great. My scar is already starting to shrink.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I haven't really had one yet. I'm still losing each time I weigh. The weight loss is slowing down now. It's not so much at a time now. That's OK, a pound is a pound no matter what it is. I just got home from my 3 month check up and I am 102 pounds lighter. My blood levels are all in normal range and I feel so wonderful. I've been very lucky and am so grateful to everyone who has had anything to do with this whole process.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Absolutely!!!!! It's a combination of them noticing me and me letting them into my world. I actually like to say hello to people and smile. Before surgery I wouldn't so much as make eye contact with anyone. If I accidently did, I would suffer from panic attacks and freak out and sweat like I had just run a marathon. It's so amazing, I'm only 2 months out and my life has already changed to the better. I know it will only keep getting better from here.