How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

There was a radio commercial 10 or 15 years ago. I called them and they sent me ALL of the info for pre and post op. Back then, they didn't have all of the protein choices we do now. The post-op diet was baby food only. And they said I would spend a week or more in ICU. It scared me way too much.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Call the insurance company and get them to fax you the plan benefit/criteria for surgery. Or get them to walk you through step by step to see this info on their website. Then you need a chart note, or piece of paper that proves you met each criteria. I called several surgeon's offices and more than half of them told me I had to do this long list of stuff that was "required by insurance". And it wasn't. My opinion is that if the surgeon's office you are talking to doesn't understand your insurance better than you do.....it's not the right surgeon to use.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My first visit was informative, I guess. I was so freaked out, I couldn't formulate a question. I was too anxious to really process the answers. My best advice is to make a list of questions before you go, and take someone with you to write down what the doc says and to help you understand it all

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

My choices were: 1) Torture myself with another diet, and then gain it all back again, disappointing myself, my DH and my family one more time. 2) Continue to get bigger, sicker, and more painful until I died early or 3) Have surgery. Then I kept thinking that the surgery isn't a magic bullet, I will still have to watch what I eat and give up a lot of the food that I like.....and the reality is I cannot continue to live this way, I have to give it up no matter what. The surgery is to help me reach my goals....kind of like using gum or patches to quit smoking. I have to quit, and it is just as much of an accomplishment even if I needed some help to do it.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

That was a long process. I talked to the DS people who all said I could keep eating how I have been I would just malabsorb. My goal has been to be healthy and to eat like a normal person, so I ruled out DS. I talked to the lap band people and they described waiting months before they found the "sweet spot" and finally started loosing weight. They described needing to run back and forth to get fills. It also seemed really easy to me to cheat or eat my way around it. My personality style just can't handle waiting months to see results. The other procedures seemed too drastic to me. So I settled on the RNY

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I was never afraid of dying....statisically I have better odds of dying on the freeway or being struck by lightening. I have been really afraid of living with all these changes. I keep coming back to the fact that I have to make those changes anyway, I can't keep living like this. I have walked through each step one at a time, focusing only on the current step. I can make and appointment and keep it. I can do what the NUT tells me to do today. I will deal with the next thing when I have to. I have made a big effort to surround myself with good support

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My mother wasn't happy about it, but told me "you are an adult, you make good decisions and I will support you anyway that I can". My DH was convinced that I was trying to kill myself. My teenaged kids were concerned, but I explained everything to them and gave them lots of reassurance. DH has been soooooo relieved that it is over and now I am home. He is almost too supportive (lol) we will have to have a conversation about NOT NAGGING. I know what I am supposed to do and I am doing it. He is just worried that I will go through all of this and not accomplish my goals. Update: Now that I have lost about 75 pounds, DH is THRILLED and isn't offering any more "helpful suggestions". Some aquaintaneces are nicer to me, others are ignorming me and being rather cold. Sheesh!! Women!!

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I just told him I was "having sugery". The only answer I have given in response to any questions was "I am going to be just fine". I am too self conscious to have everyone watching and commenting on what I eat. I was too scared pre-op to defend my decision. I have told the people in my life that care about me....but the people at work aren't really concerned for me it is just voyerism and gossip. Will they figure out what I had done when I loose 100 pounds in 8 or 9 months?? Probably, but I still do not owe anyone an explanation

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

I was sooooo happy and relieved and excited when I woke up and it was over. I was overwhelmed with those emotions, almost to tears. The hospital stay, really the whole process, was soo much easier than I had expected. The things that I was panicky about pre-op, were really easy. I had a great stay in the hospital; the day of surgery, then one full day, then came home on the morning of the 3rd day. I brought stuffed animals that comforted me, my IPOD, a gameboy with mindless games, and a no-brainer craft project that was easy to do and easy to put down. I never did decide on a toilet paper apparatis (a long spoon etc), and was glad that I didn't need one. I skipped the $10 Biotin mouthwash that was recommended, and I was fine with rinsing my mouth out with water. It was a good experience because I picked the right doc and the right hospital that made me feel safe and taken care of.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Nothing yet (knock knock on wood) Update: Four months out today, and still no complications at all.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I was very anxious, but refused to let myself entertain negative thoughts. Worrying didn't make me any safer. There was no way to predict what this would be like for me. I focused on the cute clothes that I want, the surfing lessons, all of the things I will be able to do next year when I am thinner. Every night I would visualize each step of surgery and make a concentrated effort to be calm and happy about it. I kept reminding myself that of the 100 or more profiles I have read on OH, no one has ever regretted the surgery. And I kept reminding myself that no matter what I have to do or give up after surgery, I will get used to it, and it will be worth it when I reach all of my weight loss/health goals

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

I felt very fragile, and a little dizzy the first few days. I couldn't allow myself to count how many days it had been since I had eaten food, as in "I haven't eaten in like ___ days!", it was just too overwhelming. The pain was way less than I had anticipated...I had that stingy, cut feeling similar to when I had just had a baby. I was up and walking for excercise within a day or two, driving after about 5 days and back at work within 2 weeks. All the changes in how I ate felt really normal, really quickly. No one around me (waiters, co-workers etc) even noticed that I was doing anything weird or different. My taste preferences in food changed RIGHT AWAY, within days, and I was suprised how many of my favorites were just nasty after surgery. As soon as the anesthesia wore off and I was awake, I wasn't depressed for the first time in YEARS and I had much less anxiety than my usual.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

35 miles. Takes up to 3 hours each way in the traffic (dontcha just love LA?)

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I was on liquid only for the first full week at home. Which sucked, but was okay if I didn't allow myself to think about it too much. Then I spent a week on soft; refried beans, cheeses, scrambled eggs. After my 2 week check-up, I could eat pretty much anything. I don't care for anything really fat anymore. It causes that feeling I used to get when I ordered the huge fried fish and french fry platter and ate the WHOLE thing.....now a bite or 2 of fried food makes me feel the same way. It is SO gross, I don't crave any of it anymore. Milk gives me diarrhea, but I may try some again soon to see if my tolerance is improving. I can tolerate 10 or 15 grams of sugar, as I get closer to the 15-gram mark, I get more and more nauseous from it. Lots of things taste way too sweet now, I have to add about 30% more water to Crystal Light, it is just too sweet. Pancakes don't taste good any more. I don't miss the food as much as I thought I would. It still crosses my mind. Walking past the Hostess aisle in the market makes my mouth water and I miss it when I am looking at it...but it doesn't haunt my dreams like it used to when I was trying to diet. Really, I dream about smoking more than I dream about eating. Sometimes, I will be driving through somewhere for a bottle of water or whatever, and I will have to tell the person that I am with that "I want a double cheesburger and a chocolate shake", but I order my water, pout for minute or 2 and move on with life. It isn't as hard as I thought it would be. If I eat too fast, or take big bites (much bigger than pea-sized) food gets "stuck" sometimes. It hurts like hell, and the saliva can't get down into my pouch, the inlet is blocked. So my mouth fills with saliva, and I have to go to the restroom and spit it out. Usually, standing up and walking those few steps resolves the problem. It always resolves in a minute or 2. And it has really taught me to put my fork down between human sized bites. I find I do better when eating with a knife and fork instead of hand-to mouth. I mean, I would eat a chicken leg with a knife and fork instead of picking it up and biting into it. It is easier to see the size of bites I am taking this way. The temptation that I feel the most, and struggle with the most right now are Famous Amos cookies (the little ones), cashews (a handful or 2 fills me up) and Pringles. Hard to stay on track and keep my control with those. I don't ever eat the whole box like I used to, but Jeez 6 or 8 or 10 Pringles is like 200 calories!! Easy to do a lot of damage without feeling like you really ate anything.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Came home from the hospital on Wednesday, was walking (slowly) around Disneyland on Friday night for a few hours. It feels good to walk and I am uncomfortable sitting for too long. I couldn't really bend down and pick anything up off of the floor, and I was careful about reaching and lifting (like things off of a shelf above my head), for about 3 weeks. At four months out, 80-pound weight loss I find that I am not as strong as I used to be. I have probably lost some muscle mass, but I am working with 10-pound hand weights a little to get it back. All the doors to public buildings, like stores, are HEAVY now. I used to be able to lean against them and they would open for me, now I have to really PUSH!!(lol)

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

2 multi vitamins, 1500 mg of calcium (500 mg times 3) and and iron pill 5 days a week, without fail. B12 three times a week. Without fail. I started out with iron 3 times a week, but my first labs showed a low iron level and he's bumped me up to 5 days a week. We'll see if I need to take even more after my next labs.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I have had one or 2 days of real nausea, but it comes and goes infrequently. My hair is starting to fall out at 4 months out. I used to clean my hairbrush once a week, now it is every day. And I am leaving hair in just about everything I am doing. I don't look like I am going bald or anything.....but this is another thing that I don't allow myself to think about a lot. Everyone I have talked to says that the hairloss stops and it all grows back.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

Being pre-op and having to anticipate everything. There has been no suprises, and NOTHING has been as bad as I imagined it would be.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I lurk around on OH occaisionally, the information and reassurance that I am right on schedule is helpful. I have the option to attend a lecture/information type support group at my doctor's office once a month, which is interesting but I prefer more interaction to really feel supported. I could get together with a group of OH people for coffee once a month, but skipped that this month. I just get tired of the endless conversation about what everyone can and can't eat. I know they are there for me if I need them, though. I have had several people (both post-ops and non-ops) who as soon as they heard that I was having surgery, they URGED me to get into psychotherapy RIGHT AWAY, but I cannot imagine what I would talk to a therapist about. I am happier than I have been in any other period in my life. I have some phone numbers for a therapist that I trust, just in case, but I don't think I will need to call her.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

I had lap RNY and at 4 months out the scars are maybe 1/2 an inch long and dark red. REALLY no big deal.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

My weight loss has been up one pound, down 2, up 2 down 3 since the beginning. Recently, I spent about 2 weeks "bouncing" the same 3 pounds up and down. Of course I have been disgusted and frustrated and self critical. But it has made me determined to stick to the basics and keep at it. The plateau seemed to remind me that none of this is automatic and the "pounds melting off" stage WILL end at some point. I woke up this morning and was down 5 pounds "overnight". I have kept a food/excercise/water/vitamin journal every day since my surgery. I can see what I really am eating, that I didn't eat any more on the days that my weight was up a ppound or 2. And I can give good answers to my surgeon when he asks how many calories am I eating, etc. I have also made a note of what my weight was everyday, this has helped me keep track of how much I am loosing and that I am really loosing. It is so easy to get so focused on being stuck at 210, and to completely forget that 90 days ago, I was at 280. Gratitude is so relative. I am trying to keep an attitude of surrender to the process. I will loose weight at the rate that I will loose, until my body decides that it is at it's normal weight. I will follow the rules and try to just be an interested observer without putting myself through tons of torture trying to force things to be the way I expect them to be.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

It's all so subtle, this is hard to assess. Some of the ladies at work are friendlier. One has stopped speaking to me and I have been struggling to come up with a reason why. It has occured to me that she started being so cold to me at about the 50-pound weight loss mark. Cooincidence?? Who knows. I haven't been hit on or had anyone overtly flirt with me. But between a full-time job and a house to take care of, I am generally self-absorbed during the little bit of time I spend at loose ends out in the world.