How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I first found out when my mother was going through the process about 10 years ago. She had gone through her early years very thin, but having two big babies took it's toll on her and she started to gain. After she had my twin brothers in 1997 she was around 300lbs and shes fairly short. She got serious and got the surgery and honestly, I cannot remember what she looked like heavy. She has done so well with the surgery and I am so proud of her.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I started asking for surgery at the age of 18 with Blue Shield as my insurer. I went to Beaver Medical Clinic in Highland, CA and was told by the doctor..and I quote, "you're fat er..morbidly obese, but you can just eat less." It didn't stop me though, I was determined and kept at it. In 2009 I got pregnant for the first time and the night before my 1 month check up I had a total meltdown with my husband crying that I felt empty and kept saying, "there's nothing in there, what if there's nothing in there" he assured me I was fine because I hadn't had any real issues and it was so early. I demanded the doctor do an ultrasound because of my fear and my whole world came crashing down. I was empty. It was as if I miscarried and my body didn't realize it and kept growing for the baby. I was devastated. I had a DNC three days after my 22nd birthday and when I went in, still an emotional mess after the loss of my baby, the doctor came in before surgery, sat down and said, "Well, this surgery is basically just to scrape (yes he said scrape) everything out and you'll be on your way a few hours after you wake up." He then stood up and walked out saying "sorry for your loss" as he opened the door to leave without looking my way. I was disgusted at how cold he was and that day started the process to change my medical coverage to my husband's Kaiser. After I was on Kaiser, my doctors cared and I felt that. I was instantly approved and went to my 3 months of weekly classes and now I'm here. I love Kaiser and couldn't imagine where I would be without them.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I was pretty nervous but more ready than anything else. Dr. Fedorka did a quick physical exam to make sure I was healthy enough for surgery, went over some key points of the surgery and some risks to make sure this is really what I wanted since it was fast approaching. He opened it up for any questions and then gave me my pre-op appointment and surgery date. I would say, if you had questions, write them down because you will forget them and it's their job to give you all the information you want. It's your surgery and if you don't ask the questions, no one will.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

When my knee started going out at 24 was the first time I can remember really thinking, "well this has gotten out of hand."

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

RNY (4-19-12)

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I had a break down a few days before when my husband suggested that I write a letter to my one year old son since there was a chance, a small small chance of death. Just the thought of leaving him behind was too much for me to handle and I couldn't write a word. Just thinking that he is so little that he would most likely not remember me, and every time he missed me or wanted to think of me he would have to pull out a piece of paper..and I couldn't hug him or kiss him or sing to him, the thought that I wouldn't be there for his first baseball game, or graduation broke me. I got over it by taking my son out of the equation and just focusing on the small percentage of death.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My friends and family are all super supportive. My husband had the surgery in 2008 and he has gained a little weight with me when I was pregnant with my son so he was excited for an actual workout/healthy eating partner.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I am now a stay at home mom. :)

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

I had my surgery at St. Bernadine's in San Bernardino, CA. It was so amazing. When I was wheeled in just before my surgery I was overcome with emotion because it was finally happening for me and I was in the room alone. No son, no husband, no mom, no dad, just me. As I layed crying, a woman came up to my bedside and said she was a nun and asked if she could pray for me. I instantly felt a calm wash over me and she was truly amazing. I had surgery at 7:30am Thursday morning and was released sometime in the early afternoon on Sunday. The nurses were great. My night nurse Arleene was my favorite. She was so nice and helpful. The things I brought in my bag that I actually used were: chapstick, hair ties, and playtex sport wipes..you can take a shower a few days in, but my left side was sooooo tender I couldn't imagine standing up for that long. I used those wipes to freshen up because 3 days in a hospital bed will leave you pretty yucky :)

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

I am only 12 days out of surgery and am still pretty tender on my left side. I have to explain it like, if I had a loose rib that was scratching and poking something in there every time I moved. I just try to move slow and rest when I can. Other than that, I haven't had any issues, thank God.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

Physically, I was slow and sore and tender. Emotionally....the first week was very hard for me. I am probably the only person to every cry about food but I admit that I did, and often. I felt left out when others were eating. And on top of that, my mind still associated pizza and burgers and fries with "hunger" so I would actually feel hungry when I would see my family eat and that was the worst part. Knowing that they could have pizza, and that made me hungry..but I couldn't even have a carrot stick or a grape to satisfy that really threw me. It's better now though..I am really focusing on the positives and trying to re-wire my thinking.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

Lots of laying, rolling, turning, moving. I chose to stop taking my pain meds 4 days home because they tasted disgusting and I hated the feeling of everything slowing down once they would kick in. I don't even like taking tylenol so it was hard for me to keep up. I would say, expect to be sore, and frustrated, and to need help! it's a completely new life after surgery...just try to prepare yourself mentally for that. You will come out being dependent physically and don't be discouraged if the thought of a burger still makes your tummy growl. That takes time to get over.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

Just about 20 minutes from my home.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

Well, I am 12 days out and can have sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, protein shakes, non fat yogurt without seeds or fruit, strained creamed soups or clear broth...........BLEH. I admit I am very sick of these things...and It is near impossible to get 400-600 calories a day when that is all you can eat. A normal day for me is around 100 calories...yesterday was 87. I get to introduce things like tuna with a little mayo, eggs with a little sugar free ketchup, cheese, mashed potatoes and baby food next week so I am super excited. :D

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

I am 12 days out and can't do much. I try and walk but if I over do it, I am very sore after. I am really just looking forward to my left side healing and not being so tender so I can begin to work out.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I take a multi-vitamin, B1, B12, and Biotin daily.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The post-op pain. I can remember crying to my husband "I didn't think it would hurt like this." It's comparable to a c-section. But every day truly gets better and better and as the pounds melt off I am seeing numbers on the scale I can't remember seeing and that is so empowering.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I have an online support group called sassy social :) it is very important to me. The members are all so amazingly supportive and encouraging. They have truly been a key point to my process.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

Well, I have 6. two tiny tiny ones, two 1 inch, one 1.5inch and the lower left is just under 2. they are healing nicely though. To be honest, hearing 6 incisions 1,000,000 over didn't prepare me for seeing my belly bruised and cut like that. But you get used to it and they will fade with time.