Alice P.

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

Every failure, every time someone was mean to me - it fell in my mind to my weight. My greatest fear was I would gain so much weight my husband would leave me. I became so depressed over my weight - staying in, not wanting to go out. It was a continual emotional battle in my mind with my weight.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

Having people think I was stupid or lazy because I was overweight. Overweight people are discriminated against and shunned.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Everything is better - it is amazing how my life has changed since I lost the weight. I am now 10 years out and over those years I have gained weight (30 - 50 pounds) and did not beat myself up - just went back on the program (basically but not as stringent) and the weight came back off. I can say over the years I tend to put weight on in the winter and take it off in the spring. I am now at my lowest weight (142) with about 10 pounds of excess skin. I still suffer from the bad image problem. Even though I can't sit long in the tub because my butt bone has little padding, when I look in the mirror I still see a fat girl. I don't think it will ever go away. But I tell myself I am thin - I am in a size 4 and even though my husband thinks I am too thin - I feel the best when I maintain my weight between 140 - 155 (size 4-6). After 155 pounds I start feeling bloated and big. Its amazing that gaining even 5 pounds I have to fight my thoughts - 5 pounds is not the end of the world - I am not as big as i was - and I have not blown it, I just gained 5 pounds...get control, behave, and it comes back off. Those thoughts will also always be in my mind I think - those what is the use I'm fat thoughts. They don't come often anymore, only when I see the scale going up and up and up....I get almost in a panic until I remember the tool - I have the tools necessary to change the direction of the scale...then I calm down and watch what I eat and drink and the scale moves down... Food is no longer my god - I can take it or leave it. As a matter of fact, I don't get hungry anymore and I actually have to make myself stop whatever I am doing to eat. Probably the biggest change since I had the surgery. I don't know when I stopped letting food rule me - I don't know, but it just stopped being all important to me. Now I view food as something to sustain my body...I still have my favorites - but I can stop after eating just one chip....I still overeat occasionally - I generally end up sick and having to go lay down or in the bathroom....I still dump if I eat too much sugar...same reaction as overeating but a worse feeling. So I save those experiences for the really special food occasions...lol I have been so blessed these last 10 years. I never could have any children and 7 years ago God gave me a little brand new baby girl, so I am a mother (glad I am 146 pounds lighter so I can run after her)...I retired three years ago and started my own business, and I pretty much am enjoying my life (a little too busy, but it will slow down). I don't think I would be here today if I hadn't had the surgery. I was a heart attack waiting to happen, diabetes waiting to happen, you name it - it was waiting to happen. Overall - I wish I would have had the surgery about 25 years earlier (if it had been perfected back then). I am a new person and I have a completely different life than I had. If you are fighting the should I do it - the answer is yes but only if you are going to follow the rules - don't do it if you can't or are not ready to fight the mental fight and follow the rules. I see friends and acquaintances who had the surgery who gained almost all their weight back - why go through the risk if you are not going to do what they tell you to do? But if you follow the rules - especially the first 2 years - you will loose the weight and have the tools to keep it off...it is worth it...but it is a mental fight as much or more than a physical fight. But after 10 years I can say the mental fight is almost over - I have gone up the scale and back down numerous times over those 10 years - I know that if I go back and do what they told me to do in the beginning, the weight will come back off...its not the end of the world and I am not fat - I am just a 50+ year old woman who, like all women my age, has to watch her weight...

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

A woman at work had it done. I was impressed and a little scared about the surgery. Then I went to a seminar, applied for insurance approval, got approved and had the surgery.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Insurance approved first submission. They were fairly prompt

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I had done a fair amount of research about the surgery, plus had attended the 1/2 day seminar so I was pretty familiar with the procedure. My first meeting was to meet Dr Olsen and get things moving. I would have asked a few more questions about what to expect - it was not until the nervousness of surgery that I started to think about potential complications such as blood clots, etc.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I left it in Gods hands - I asked God to stop the surgery if it was not His will. Instead, everything went through like clockwork. The ultimate decision to even apply for the surgery is due to the fact that except for 4 times in my life when I was maybe 50 pounds overweight - and that as a result of crash diets or liquid diets...I have always been 100 - 150 pounds overweight, since I was 11. I had had enough.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

Reading. I think the hardest part was the decision to permanently alter my stomach and intestines. But I did a lot of reading and talking to people. The risk of not losing the weight was heart attack or stroke since it is in both sides of the family. I had to do something.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I do not fear death. I had confidence in my surgeon and I am not afraid to die. I did fear complications such as blood clots and such. Talk to the doctor about your fears, they have heard them all and my surgeon took steps to prevent and minimize complications.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My husband was very supportive after he got reassured that I would not die. My other family members were not as supportive until they heard my reasons. Now they are very supportive.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

Concern but supportive. I told my boss the truth. I was out 4 weeks.
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