How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

A male friend online mentioned that his wife had lost a lot of weight, which made me ask how. He not only described the surgery, but his wife sent me a huge packet of information. My impression... a "lightbulb moment" as Oprah would put it. Something told me that this was finally the answer and that my life was about to change forever.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Please be sure how your insurance company needs the information forwarded to them. I did not know that my primary was responsible for sending all info to the insurance company because the surgery would be performed out of town. And because my primary didn't know it was necessary for him to do this, I did not get approval for even the initial consultation with the surgeon until nearly 6 months after my psychiatric evaluation. I started the process in January of 2000 and did not get in to see the surgeon until September of 2000.... surgery until December of 2000. I could have had approval in 24 hours had all the steps been done right.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I went armed with a list of at least 40 questions... some highly technical, some quite common. I went in with confidence that I knew this was what I wanted/needed. I believe both of those things are important. The questions show the surgeon that you have done your homework and the confidence shows him/her that you believe in what you are about to do. My surgeon was caring, professional and informative. He sat with me for an hour and answered all questions... even some I didn't have! If your surgeon seems rushed, won't answer your questions or seems aloof, find another surgeon! This is your life in his hands. Be sure the hands you trust are caring ones.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

There was no decision. I was tired and sick. I couldn't take the physical and emotional pain anymore, and I craved what I thought was out of my reach... a real life. I knew the surgery was a risk, but being the weight I was far exceeded the risk of surgery. It was simply time. I wanted to live.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

After having done some research, I decided that I liked what Roux-En-Y had to offer... for various reasons. The doctors in my area do that type of surgery, so I was happy for that. I wanted surgery that wouldn't give me options or allow me to adjust my intake. After all, if I'd had control pre-op, I wouldn't have needed this surgery in the first place. I wanted a surgery that would limit me, make me dump, make me malabsorb. I wanted to know that I had no choice... I had to learn to eat the way I should have all along. RNY did that for me and I believe the longterm effects will be positive.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

Fear is normal. If one doesn't experience fear, I'd wonder about them. Any surgery is a risk, and I think most of us feel that we'll go through this and somehow we'll be the only one it doesn't work for. Of course, in hindsight, we know it does work. Embrace those fears, but don't let them keep you from doing something that will give you back your life, your health, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

I told everyone... I have no secrets. There were only two people who vehemently objected... my grandmother and my best friend. My grandmother was afraid, my friend, angry. I reassured my grandmother the best I could, but wasn't sure how to deal with the anger from my best friend. So... I took her to the grocery store. I put a 20 pound bag of dog food under one of her arms and another under her other arm, then asked her to follow me through the store and NOT to put the bags down. Of course, after a couple of aisles, she had to put them down. "They're too heavy," she complained. With love in my eyes, I turned to her and said, "Now please try to imagine carrying ten of those bags, every day, every hour, every minute. You couldn't even do it down every aisle. I'm sorry you're mad at me for doing this, but I have to." She hugged me and began to tear up. She told me she was never mad -- she was afraid she would lose her best friend. I told her she surely would if I didn't do something and soon. From that day on she was my best supporter. My grandmother had a massive stroke just one month after my surgery, but she had seen me on Christmas (25 days post-op) and was proud of me, so happy that I was okay. She died February of 2001, and I'm glad that she was able to see me down almost forty pounds. I feel it was a good thing that I did this when I did. I gave her something to feel good about.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I work online and I did tell my employers... even sent them pictures as I progressed. They were extremely happy for me. I was able to work in very short stints (1 hour a couple times a day), but couldn't have gone back full time for about a month. Had I been able to have my surgery laproscopically, I would have only been out two weeks.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

I was in the hospital for 5 days only because of an old hernia that strangulated and I had to go back in for surgery on my 4th day. Normally I would have gone home in 3 days. My hospital stay was great! My nurses were excellent and amazed that I had no pain and didn't need help. :) A lot of that was due to 2 wooden spoons I brought with me. You'll see why below. Here is what I brought with me to the hospital: - Slippers - Slip on shoes for the ride home (you won't be able to bend to tie) Hair clips/scrunchies - Makeup (didn't want to scare visitors) :) - Brush/comb - Hair dryer - Pen/pencil - Paper - Handheld electronic game (I just bought a cheap chess one) - Watch - Toothbrush/toothpaste - Deoderant - Shampoo - Favorite hand/body cream - 2 Heavy/strong wooden spoons (reach places to wipe or wash -- disgarded afterward) - Safety pins (to pin wet washcloth to one of the wooden spoons - for washing) - Chapstick - Thank you notes for nurses when leaving hosp. (gives you something to do) - Dress to wear home (pants may rub against incision) - Soap (I have allergies to harsh ones) - A small fan (if you're prone to getting hot) - Small mirror in case there are none on the bed tables - A phone card if you would like to call out of town friends - Back scratcher

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

No complications other that a hernia strangulating. I'd had the hernia for 24 years, so I was happy to have it taken care of. I had no pain at all... only what felt like a bad bruise.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

The first couple of weeks I was extremely tired. I slept a lot and it wasn't until I started taking Trinsicon (a prescription with B12, intrinsic factor, Iron, vitamin D, vitamin C) and drinking the protein shakes that I felt my energy go through the roof! I didn't have any anxiety. I was so happy I'd done this!

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

You'll be extremely tired and it's not easy getting up and down from a sitting position when you have incisional staples. You'll need a little help the first couple of weeks with that. By 3 weeks out, I was so energized! I was out shopping the malls... buying smaller sizes! :) I went to parties and did Christmas shopping. You couldn't keep me down!

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

I traveled 60 miles... approximately an hour and a half drive. It didn't effect my aftercare at all. We'd simply make a day of my visits to the surgeon... stop to shop, eat lunch, etc.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

At first I was limited... only liquids, sugarfree jello, broth, sugarfree popsicles, etc. That lasted only a few weeks. After that was the "mushy" food stage... mashed potatoes, pureed cooked vegetables, scrambled eggs, sugarfree pudding, milk, sugarfree instant breakfast. Nothing chunky or heavy. Meats were limited to chicken, fish or turkey. The next phase added cooked veggies and soft fruits.. mostly canned. The final stage was to experiment with foods... being sure to chew, chew, chew to a pulp anything I ate. I had to eat slowly to make sure everything would sit well. What's changed? Well, things taste different to me now. I never cared much for fruit but now the taste is incredible! Very flavorful. I've learned to love cheese and hate very fatty foods. I've come to enjoy veggies and turn my nose at too many carbs (potatoes, breads, pasta) I used to love tuna fish and ham... they taste horrible to me now. Shrimp cocktail sits too heavy in my pouch for some reason, but cooked shimp goes down just fine! :) At almost 10 months out, I'm able to eat anything!! And, I find it amazing how much I can eat and I'm losing weight very well. So, all those reports of the teeny tiny spoonfuls of food are only in the beginning. After everything inside has healed, you will be able to eat a good-sized portion of food.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

I was told to walk 15 minutes a day right after surgery. I could only do about 10 the first few times, but within 2 weeks, I could do the full 15. At my 1 month visit to the surgeon I was told to increase the walking to 30 minutes which I was able to do with no problem. After the 3rd month, I was able to walk 3-5 miles with ease! :)

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I take the following daily: 3 calcium "citrate" capsules (we absorb citrate far better than carbonate)... these are opened into my protein shakes 3 protein shakes 2 Flintstone Complete vitamins 2 Trinsicon capsules (prescription containing B12, intrinsic factor [to help absorb the B12], Iron, vitamins D and C) 1 zinc capsule (to help absorb protein) 1 estrogen

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I have had no nausea, no vomiting, no sleep disturbances. I have had hair loss which I mask, believe it or not, by using a matt eye shadow that matches my hair... I put it on my scalp after washing and drying my hair. Then I tease the hair (what's left of it LOL) on the crown of my head. Then I spray with hairspray. No one knows I'm balding on top, so it's working great! I've only dumped 3 times and each time was my fault. The first time was because I wanted a sliver of apple pie. The second time a spoonful of watermelon dip that contained marshmellow fluff. The third time was because I had some sweet and sour sauce at a Chinese restaurant. Normally I eat nothing that has more than 5 grams of sugar in it.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The worse part for me was not being able to drink while I eat. I used to gulp pop (soda) throughout my meal. Now I stop drinking about an hour before I eat and resume about an hour after I finish my meal. That's very hard to get used to. But you know what? I'd trade all the glasses of liquid any day to feel how I do now. :) These tradeoffs are worth every day of health and joy I experience now.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I not only joined a support group, but started two of my own. I truly do not know how I would have kept such great focus without the wonderful people in those groups. I spend enough time alone when I was at my heaviest, and now I'm surrounded by people who walked in those shoes -- know the pain, frustration, sadness, depression, self-loathing, etc. that I felt. They can relate to all that and more, and because they do, I'm inspired to keep on moving forward in my journey. I swear I have guardian angels looking over me on this earth... and I couldn't have done this without them.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

It's 4 inches, a little bumpy. I expected worse and was pleasantly surprised. Actually, I would have gladly let them cut me to shreds to have the life I have now. LOL

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

Strange as it was, I would plateau for two weeks, lose for a couple days, plateau a couple weeks, lose for a couple. I got used to it and especially since each time I was losing, it was between 3 and 7 lbs. I didn't worry too much about plateaus... they are normal and to be expected.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes. I'm still trying to deal with the attention I'm getting. Men are taking a second look. That's odd and I'm learning to feel good about it without it going to my head... which I think would be all too easy for us to do since we've gone for so long without that type of attention.