How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I started researching surgery about 4 years ago and started to get excited about the prospect of a Lap-Band. However, it was not approved for use in the US at the time, so I just stopped thinking about it. Then about 6 months ago, I got a bug in me telling me to resume my research and the banding has since been approved. I have had mental debates about the pros and cons of even having surgery, let alone preparing myself mentally for the changes I so desperately want.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I paid cash out-of-pocket for the surgery

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

The surgeon was very open to questions and discussion, and made herself available to me for any further questions and consults. She was fabulous, very knowledgeable. I took my parents with me after I had already decided that she was the right surgeon for me so that they could meet her, feel comfortable with her expertise, and ask any questions they had.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I decided against the lap-band because of its lower success rate. Therefore, I don't know what the final straw was to have the lap-bypass. I just knew I had to do something, because diets weren't working and I wanted to be healthy. I want to be married and have kids and be able to enjoy myself without any health complications or setbacks due to my weight. And I want to look GOOD. I just didn't see these things happening any other way.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I was scheduled for lap-banding and a week before, I opted out, for several reasons. One of which, was the lower success rate of the banding. The general family consensus was that if I was going to have any surgery, it may as well be the gold-standard of surgeries. I had done a lot of research into both procedures and feel like now, post-op, I definitely made the right choice.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I definitely feared/ fear the pain associated with the surgery, but I never feared dying. I feared the recovery process, and the never having a McDonald's cheeseburger again. I am a big chicken with pain. But, this was SOOO minor for me compared to what I expected. I braced myself for excrutiating pain. But, in reality, I had more pain having a boil lanced from my butt than from this surgery. There was discomfort for sure, but totally bearable. I feared dumping too much, but now I know what will and won't cause dumping and have to consider that when deciding what to eat.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

Everyone was, and still are, so incredibly supportive. My family said that they would do anything possible to help me, and they have. My friends were supportive but also know that I am hard-headed and was going to do it anyways. My boyfriend didn't want me to have the surgery, but he has been wonderful since then and has tried to take very good care of me. He says now that he liked me big, but knows I'm much happier now and is supportive of that. My parents worry that I don't eat enough now, but they are getting used to it, especially when I remind them that there is a very expensive reason that i don't eat so much now.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

Every one was extremely wonderful. They said I can take as long as I need, to not rush my return, and I could return at part-time or at whatever incrememtns I feel would be best for me. While I was in the hospital, someone from work called at least 3 times a day to check on me. They are even getting a ini-fridge and microwave for my office for me. I went back to work after 2 weeks, mostly because they were a big support system to me, and I loved my job. now, I wish I would have taken off longer because I wouldn't get time like that again.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

I was in the hospital for 3 days, then went to my parents' house for another 2 days. After that, I was longing to go to my own home, where I live by myself and my cat. My boyfriend stayed with me some nights, more so in the weeks following my surgery once he was more comfortable with what I had done. But the hospital stay itself was an experience. I couldn't stand noise, couldn't stand to have the TV or radio on. I had a private room, and my friends and family were with me almost all the time. There were not any comfortable beds or chairs for my mom to sleep in to spend the night with me, so the first night I sent her home. But she was right back first thing in the morning. The staff were so professional, really knew how to handle bariatric patients, as it was a bariatric floor. The second night, my boyfriend came, and he just stayed with me peacefully, sat on the edge of my bed with me for hours until he finally went home in the middle of the night. the hospital was not strict about visiting hours or number of visitors. I rarely slept in the hospital, could not get comfortable at all, only sleeping in 20 minute increments. The Toridol did help for a little bit, but that was only one period of relief. But, overall, it was so easy, so uncomplicated. I didn't take that much with me to the hospital. I had taken a deck of cards, dominoes, and some books and magazines, none of which I touched. the most important thing to me was my several pair of cute pajamas so I didn't have to wear hospital gowns. And the pajamas soon becamse popular with the other patients and the nursing staff for their characters (Super-girl, felix the cat). I didn't use any chapstick, did use lotion, which I usually forget to do.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

No major complications from the surgery. On my second day, my IV backed up, causing my left hand to swell to triple its size. So they had to change the IV to my other hand, and the swelling went down within a few hours. Didn't hurt, just looked gross. If I get sick, its because I chose a food that I knew would make me sick

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

Between the time I made the decision to have the surgery and my actual date was less than 2 months. Once I decided, there was no looking back, and I was not the least bit nervous. I was resolved and relieved to have a plan of action. The only time I got even a little anxious was on the second day post-op. I had gotten out of bed to go for a walk with my mom, and as soon as I stood felt a huge pain gust in my belly. Just a big gas bubble, but for those 5 minutes, it hurt and I got scared. Then I got some Toridol (liquid Vicodin), and any pain I may have ever felt went right away. Since before and after the surgery, I have just felt tremendous relief and gratitude. I do sometimes fear that I will gain the weight back, that this won't last. Then I have to remind myself that I have the power over that, I have to ensure that that doesn't happen. This surgery was the booster I needed to gain control over my life and my eating, now it is up to me to monitor and enforce it.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

The hardest thing for me was showering. The second day in the hospital and the first day home, my mom gave me a shower, which was tough for me, but I had to let that go. From that point on, my boyfriend helped me, and at about the 5 day mark, I was able to shower on my own. Still needed help for a while shaving my legs, which my boyfriend did for me so wonderfully. I went on walks every day, whether it was around my neighborhood or up to the stores on the corner. I got my nails done 5 days post-op. I didn't let this surgery thing slow me down for too long. I caught up on movies and Oprah. I went to work after 2 weeks, in hindsight I would have waited another week, just because I could have. I timed my meals, knew exactly what time feeding time was, set an alarm if I wasn't at home, and always had planned my liquids to take with me. I carried a convenient cooler and ice pack with me almost everywhere I went; to the movies, the music store, work. I had to remind myself to rest so as not to overdo it.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

My hospital was less than a mile from my house. i wanted to walk home but they, and my parents, wouldn't let me.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I tried to really stick to my dietary guidelines and did so very successfully for the first several phases. Then, at about week 8, I went to Mexico. Everything was wonderful until I ordered Machaca, which I thought was actually chorizo which I had handled fine previously. Machaca is basically chunks of beef, which I took 1 bite and knew right away I was not going to be able to eat any more. But I didn't throw up. That was reserved for the following week. My boyfriend and I went out for Thai food after a concert. Didn't eat that much, but when I had the leftovers the next day, that was the first time I vomitted. Even that experience wasn't completely horrible. I cramped and gagged for about a half-hour, then once I finally threw up, felt so much better. The first time I experienced real dumping was from creme brulee, which had been my favourite thing. I was at work when it kicked in, in the middle of a therapy session, and I had to excuse myself for a very long time. I thought I was going to die. I had the runs so badly, I didn't think it would ever stop.Then the sweating, the fever and chills, the nausea. Lasted roughly 2 hours, all for 2 bites of heaven. Since then, I rarely get sick. I can handle some sugars, just in little amounts. No ice cream, that seems to really set me off, even the no sugar added, because of the lactose. I still shy away from chunks of steak, which was another one of my favourite items. I haven't had many problems with pork, chicken, or ground meat, or lobster. I don't eat seafood except for lobster and tuna, and both have done well by my belly. My post-op dietary regime was as follows: When I was in the hospital, I was allowed to try things like Jello and juice on day 2, but I hardly had anything at all. It is one of the only times in my memory when I didn't want to put anything in my mouth. I had to be coaxed into it, not because I felt bad or it hurt, just because I didn't feel like it. The next 2 days was clear liquids only. The first 3 weeks, i was on liquids only, 3-4 ounces every 2 hours, and I set my alarm to make sure I ate on time. Discovering how to eat again, and forgotten flavors, was so interesting. I remember very vividly my first sips of warm chicken broth with protein powder, like a warm sip of heaven. Seemed like the best thing I had ever eaten. Everything got mixed with whey protein powder. Chocolate pudding, carnation instant breakfast, jello, creamy and brothy soups were pretty much the faithful staples. The next 3 weeks was pureed and baby foods. I actually did buy the baby food jars, as it was convenient to take to work. Some tasted decent, mostly the fruit ones. Others, as desperate as I was, couldn't be eaten. My mom and I spent a day cooking food, then putting it through the blender. This worked well for peas and some vegetables. I would not recommend putting chicken through, it tasted, looked and smelled like dog food. The theory was to freeze these things so i would have it readily available and take it to work. Within a few days, I found things that worked pretty well, like chili, mashed potatoes (with protein powder), beans, and scrambled eggs, even though the eggs were somewhat difficult at first. The following 2-4 months was soft foods, hence the lobster. By this point, the diet did not seem restrictive, I was so thankful for the surgery, I was already seeing great results and increased energy levels. After the few months of restricted eating, I was pretty much on my own. I do try to watch what I eat, focus on high protein, not a lot of bread or salads. I find that I can feel the foods expanding, especially more so at the beginning, and I have to pay much more attention to how the foods I'm eating make me feel. An example, rice will fill me up pretty quickly, so I either skip it altogether or have a bite's worth. I avoided bread for a long time, as it is one of my weaknesses. But I do remind myself now when I'm out that I can only have one piece so as not to fill up and not have room for the actual food. I pay way much more attention to the nutritional content of what I put in my mouth, how will it benefit me or affect me. I also watch how much liquid I have before, during, and right after meals. i can tell a huge difference when i have had something to drink, because I can't eat as much, feel much more bloated and swollen, and feel like the food is just floating there. I also cannot handle much alcohol. i was always a light-weight drinker, but now even more so. About a half of a glass of wine is more than i cn handle. One glass, and I'm pretty much falling over. I had 2 glasses of wine once, couldn't eat, and had to be carried out of the restaurant.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Immediately after surgery, I wanted to be active. Within an hour or two of getting into my hospital room, I got out of bed and walked the hallways, IV stand and mom holding my hand. I made sure to bring cute pajamas with me to the hospital, so I didn't have to wear a gown. In the middle of the nights, since I couldn't sleep, I would walk the hallways, just once or twice, up and back. When I got home, I tried to walk at least twice a day, either around my neighborhood or around the corner to the store for more soymilk or whatever I could carry. I don't remember how soon afterwards I started back at the gym, maybe 2-3 weeks. I did really well there for 2 and a half months with exercising in some way every day. Then I was in a car accident, hurt my back and my hip, which really limited my movement and desire to work-out. i started back up again about 2 months after that. I had gone on a Canadian vacation with my boyfriend, during which we did a lot of walking, so when I got home I started working out pretty consistently. I try now to go to the gym at least 4 days a week, and can feel a major difference when I don't go. For a span, before I started my new job, I was going to the gym every day, sometimes for 2 hours, combining cardio and sculpting. I can actually see some results, especially in my upper body, and I thought I would never be toned or muscular.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I started out on Flintstone's children's chewables, Tums chewables for calcium, B-12 sublingual weekly, and an iron supplement. I must admit I am not a very good person who adheres to vitamin protocols. But I was pretty consistent for a while. Then I switched to One-a-day tablets, and occasionally took an iron or calcium supplement. Now I take the Vista-Vitamins, which are supposed to be all-inclusive, specifically designed for bariatric patients, and not require any other supplements. I am trying to adhere to this, as I know the vitamins are a major part in keeping healthy.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I did not have any consistent side effects. the dumping was my own fault, and I pay attention to what I eat, because I know what will happen if I don't. I really feared hairloss, as I am a vain person, looks are important to me, and one thing I've had going for me, even while big, was good hair. But I didn't lose that much, not any visible difference. I could only tell a difference in the shower, when I would pull out random strands of hair. but no big clumps, no bald spots, and it has regained some thickness. The hair issue started about 4-5 months post-op, didn't last very long, and again, wasn't in an amount that really mattered. i have been using vitamin and protein-enriched shampoos and the such, don't know if they made a difference or not, but I still use them.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

I have to think long and hard about this one. Because, for me, I didn't really meet the criteria for surgery. I was 245, no co-morbid conditions, and able to financially do the surgery. i feel so blessed at my second chance in life and hope for the future. So the worst thing about the surgery process for me is that people still fear it, judge it, and that it is inaccessible to more people who could really benefit from it. There is such a negative vibe going around about people who are obese, such meanness and discrimination, which leads to so much pain, hurt, and self-loathing. My only regret or negative thought is that it is seen as such a weakness. The surgery is definitely not a cure-all, but rather an instillation of hope, and an opportunity for most people who need it to experience health, pleasure and fun.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I did not go to any support groups. The main reason is that I did not really like the therapist who was going to lead the group at my surgery center, as she was the same one who did my psych assessment. I know I could have found other support groups, as I know they are beneficial. My main source of support and information has been this website. Particularly in the early days after surgery, and since, when I had a question or a jubilation, I got on the message boards and found others with the same experiences. Although I rarely posted, it helped to read the questions, answers, and stories. What I wish I had done was keep a journal, both written and photo of the milestones, as my memory tries, but is sometimes inaccurate. I do have a lot of pictures that I am trying to organize now.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

I had lap surgery, so I have six little scars. I can barely see 2 of them, and the others are very faded. I never consider that I have scars. Doesn't stop me from wearing a 2-piece bathing suit. I'm proud of my scars, my body, and my story.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

My first plateau was after I had lost 20 pounds pretty rapidly, and I remember thinking "I did not have this surgery only to lose twenty pounds." I think it lasted about a week, then the weight started falling again. I would plateau for about a week or 2 at a time, then lose about 10-15 pounds, plateau and lose. I have been pretty stable for about 2 months, almost 3 months, with about a 7-8 pound loss in that time. I haven't changed sizes in this time period. I used to weigh myself every day, sometimes before and after I would go to the bathroom, just to see the results. Now I weigh myself not every day, but several times a week, more to ensure that I am not gaining weight. Before the surgery, I avoided scales like the plague. Now I bound up on them because it still is surprising to me how much I actually don't weigh.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

This has been such an amazing experience. To be able to shop in "normal" stores, wear cute and trendy clothes, is fabulous. And knowing when I walk into those stores that the sales ladies aren't gawking at me and thinking that there is nothing in the store that would fit me. In fact, some of the stores DON'T have clothes to fit me because their smalls are too big for me. In some stores, I have received excellent customer service, some clerks picking out outfits that they think would look good on me, things I may not have thought would, and they do, whereas pre-op, if I even got a greeting from a clerk that was considered good customer service. I still haven't adjusted to male attention. I've been with my boyfriend since before the surgery, so its not like I'm looking. But, if I do go out with the girls, there is a lot of attention. I used to hate going to clubs or any place social, because i wouldn't get any attention, I was the "fat friend" or the "go-to" person for when someone would want to hit on my friends. But now, they look at me. And not to be vain, but I love it. I have developed a confidence now that i don't have to cling to any man that shows me attention and have become resourceful in the way I can let them down. That has been fun to discover. And knowing that I have many more options now if things were not to work out with my current man. And, the way my family treat my now is different. I always felt criticized by my father and brothers, always felt inferior and therefore judged. So now, its funny to me when my dad gets concerned that I'm not eating enough, or when he asks me if I want dessert, which he would have NEVER done before. he would have given me "the look" if I went to get dessert. now he's surprised that I turn it down. That was the whole idea.