Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
The issues with my weight began at a very young age because of my mothers own body issues. when I say young I mean about 8 years old or even younger. I started over eating as a way to protect myself and to have some control over something in my life since I was dealing with mulitple issues... the abandonment of my father, the emotional abuse and distance of my mother and the sexual abuse from a babysitters teenage son as well as others.
My mother put me on every diet she went on... I remember I was about 7 or 8 when my mother had my doctor prescribe amphetamines for me... imagine being that young and being forced to take speed. Looking back at the pictures from that time period in my life I realize that was not fat and if she had left me alone I may not have become obese... but then again I might have due to the sexual and emotional abuse issues.
My mothers obsession with my weight played a huge part in my own body issues and all the dieting and battles for control all but killed my metabolism...
Obesity served a purpose in my life for a long time. Being obese we mostly become invisible to others. I hid behind this mountain of fat to keep from feeling anything. Food became just one of the ways I self medicated.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
not being able to breath and walk at the same time.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
Since I started my journey to a better life, so much has changed. I was on 23 different meds before surgery and on oxygen 24/7... I was diabetic my A1C was 13... I had sleep Apnea, and I had COPD.... I could not walk and breath, I could not walk to my front door without becoming out of breath. I was not happy with my life are really just waiting to die. I had dealt with so many things in my life and really just did not feel that I was worth the effort. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. The year before my surgery I was in the hospital 7 times and the average stay was 10 days. I missed 6 months of work.
So what has changed you may ask? Besides being literally half my size now... I can breathe and walk at the same time... I can walk for miles and love it. My last A1C was 5.1 with no meds... I no longer have sleep apnea, I no longer have COPD. The only prescription med I am on now is an inhaler for asthma, which is much more under control now.
But the changes in my life are so much more the physical. I knew I had to deal with the issues from my childhood or nothing I would do to change my life would work... There was a reason I was obese that went way beyond eating to much and moving to little. Obesity was as much my shield as it was my prison... I went through 6 months of therapy before I had my surgery. I had to get to the point where I realized deep down that I was worth the effort that it would take to make my life better... I am happier now, the weight that has lifted off of me is so much more then the nearly 200 pounds I have let go of since beginning my journey... I am lighter not just in body but in spirit as well... For the first time I am actually living my life, not just surviving it. My goal now is to be able to work with those who are like me...I still have a ways to go to goal, but honestly if I never lost another pound, I would still be as happy as I am today... It is not about that number on the scale, It is about realizing that you are worth the effort, it is about living life not surviving it... It is about celebrating you and your life...
The only thing missing from my life at this point is someone to share it with and for the first time in my life I feel like I am truly ready to do just that. I am healed and whole and happy... and above all of that I am blessed.