How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I had heard about it as a child. I knew the woman who played the mom on that show with Urkel had her stomach stapled, and was intrigued. I didn't understand what it meant, but I knew she was healthy. 2 years ago, one of my sorority sisters informed us that she was getting surgery. I am not proud to admit that I had a strongly negitive reaction to her surgery. I didn't respond to her in anyway, but to my closest friends, I expressed vehement disgust with the concept of surgery - mostly I now understand because I felt like she was abandoning "our" sisterhood - the sisterhood of FatGrrlz. It felt like someone ripping the covers off my head in the morning. If she needed surgery, perhaps I might too. Seeing her dramatic weight loss, scared me further. I wasn't prepared for the feelings I had. Honestly, jealousy was not the strongest emotion I had when looking at her. Fear of her success - is she safe - physically? Is she safe walking down a street at night now? (She always was and remains as a ThinGrrl a total Hottie!) Fear that this could happen to me. I was terrified of being thin - even though I know logically it would be much more healthy for me.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I had a BMI of 51, and good insurance. I was approved in a week. Take your surgeon's advice when they tell you what you need to document for approval. My surgeon's nurse was AWESOME. I helped her write the note that got me that approval.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

It went well. Be prepared. Have your questions ready to go. Be aggressive in getting your answers.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

Loving myself enough to want to live a Long Healthy Life!

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

Reading about the various types. People who have VBG have terrible long term rates of success, and it just sounds barbaric! Also I met too many people who end up getting the revision to RNY to have ever seriously considered it. People who have rny have decent results with the pouch procedure - I like that my surgeon adds reenforcement at the base of my pouch through fascia wrapped around the bottom. The lap band freaked me out - that you could stretch your pouch and tear your stomach in half sounded awful. Also, I wanted the dumping syndrome as a tool.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I had honest fears - I knew my personal risk factors were small. I made preparations and then decided that it just wasn't in my hands - I turned it over to god to let god worry about it for me. PS - it worked.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

Friends and family were far more supportive than I anticipated, and honestly far more positive than I felt comfortable with. I didn't like that they all thought I was fat enough to have surgery. I communicated effectively - openly, honestly and without offering an opportunity to dump on me, but an opportunity to express their concerns. Friends and family are supportive as a post op - some have discovered they feel jealous of my weight loss and are working through their own personal issues with weight at this time.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

Supervisor was supportive. I told her the truth. I was off for 2 weeks, on half days for 4 weeks after that.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

It was fine. Got a single room. Was there for about 36 hours total. Bring: Chapstick, someone to be with you and listen to nutritionist consult/be your advocate, pillow for carride home, cd player for listening during procedure.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

None.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I got progressively more anxious. I ultimately ended up going on a bit of xanax to curb the anxiety. I talked with my friends, went to support meetings, talked to therapist, posted online, finalized my will. Ultimately, the morning of my procedure, I was calm - cool - collected. My pre-op area was a party with the 4 friends who came with me.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

Rollercoaster ride of emotions. Tired, achy, crabby. Felt like being in jail. Expect it to hurt, expect to get sick of the liquid diet, expect to be bored.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

5 miles or less.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

No sugar. Ever. 6 grapes cause a dumping. After a wicked incident with a single piece of pinapple my nutritionist had to threaten me to get me to continue searching for fruit that does work. Most non-tropical fruit does work for me, and I eat it every day. Fat - sometimes yes sometimes no. Dietary changes hour by hour - much to my chagrin sometimes. I play it by ear.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Low to progressively higher

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

2 chewable multi-vitamins Calcium - I only take if not getting enough milk-based calcium during the day - and am MINDFUL of getting enough water in to avoid kidney stones.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I consider the food sensitivity to be a winning part of the tool. I know I dump like crazy, so hence I don't futz with any sugar at this point. The vomiting is irritating, but I know I'm eating something risky when I do it. So - hence my own choices are causing the problem hence a brain issue not a tummy issue. I cope one day at a time.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

That it doesn't cure obesity, it just makes it MUCH harder to do. I wish my brain could be scrubbed clean of my unholy relationship with food, however that's work I have to do on my own. No surgical procedure can take the place of good therapy. HOWEVER it makes keeping weight off MUCH MORE LIKELY for my future.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

Weekly support group at surgeon's office - Very important, not always the most helpful - if nothing else teaches me sometimes what not to do. Therapy - going to therapy at least every 4-6 weeks. Is helpful and important for me. Beginning OA meetings - I think this will be my ace in the hole to manage my obesity for the rest of my life.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

6 port holes - 2 keloided. 1 4" long scar on my right upper thigh. It is exactly what I expected

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

Plateaus happen at set points or after heavy losing. I've stopped caring about them, as there is really nothing to be done about them. I follow my plan and the weight slowly begins creeping downwards again.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes. People find me worth noticing now. People sit next to me on the bus. People respond to my visibly higher self-esteem with smiles and kind words. People who are obese are having difficulties watching my process.