BigGirlSlim

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

Food has always been the way I deal with emotions. When I am sad, angry or nervous I would eat. If I am celebrating somthing good, I would eat. Emotionally I was feeling like my life was over. I felt that I wasn't good enough to be in a world that viewed me as wrong. I didn't feel pretty or even like a woman. I was just a thing that lived. I always felt that every time I walked in a room the first thing that people would think of me is fat. I would always second guess myself in social and personal situations. I couldn't never sit in a chair without fear it would break or that the circulation in my thigh would be cut off. I would always wear dark colors and drab clothing to try and melt into the background and not be noticed.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The worst thing about being overweight is the constant feeling of negativity. The negativity society gives towards overweight people, how the media protrays us in magazines, film and music and how people discriminate against us. All these things cause us to feel like we are not worth as much as other people. For me it's also about not being able to do things I know I can do but have limited mobility or opportunites.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

I enjoy going for long walks and being able to sit comfortably in seats. I enjoy being able to walk up stairs and not having to deal with body pains daily. I like that I am more outgoing because I feel better about myself and want to try new things such as talking to people and trying to make friends.

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I found out about the bariatric surgery about 4-5 years ago. At the time I only knew about stomache stapling. My best friend at the time introduced me to the Lap Band option. My inital impressions of it was positive. I decided to do more research to see what it was all about.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

My experience with getting insurance approval for surgery went smoothly. I did my research before hand and tried to provide Dr. Goyal's office with the information they needed to get approval. Dr. Goyal's office dealt with approval process and it was approved the first time it was submitted. My advice for people are this stage is to write a note explaining your health conditions, weight loss and gains over the years and why you need and want to lose weight. Explain how you plan on working with your doctor to assist the process and how it can approve your life.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My first appointment with Dr. Goyal's office went like I expected. His team was wonderful, and we talked about what I wanted to do. He explained the process to me and what was expected on my part. People can get the most of their initial meeting with their doctor by making a list of questions and concerns and addressing them during their visit. Ask what the benifits and risks are. Be honest about your health and goals. Tell your doctor about items you may need help or guidance on.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I decided to have this surgery when I couldn't function normally anymore. I felt like I was coming apart at the seems. I saw a photo taken of me and the first thing I thought when I saw it was- this is the photo they are going to use for your program at your funeral. Right afterward I was denied for life insurance because of my weight. The third stike was one day I bent over and had a sharp stabbing pain in my head that almost caused me to pass out. I knew when I was in trouble because my husband was in the bedroom and I was in the bathroom and I couldn't even call out to him to help me. I finally made it to the bed and after a night of rest the pain subsided. I knew at that moment something had to be done.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I knew from day one I wanted the Lap Band. The Band had more benifits to it than the other options. I felt in my heart it was the best choice with less risks. I also wanted to have more control over how fast the weight was lost and have to check in with a doctor reguarly to monitor my progress.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I had two main fears when it came to surgery. My first fear was dying. I was scared for my loved ones and not for myself. My husband and my father were the only ones who knew about the surgery. I didn't want my entire family worried and I felt my father was the best one to talk to them if things went wrong. I wasn't afraid for myself because I had full faith in Dr. Goyal, his staff and his ability to do the surgery. It was a risk I was willing to take to improve my life. The second fear I had was religious. Would God get mad at me for changing his creation? He loves me the way I am and who am I to think I am flawed? I spoke to a priest the day of my surgery about my fears and she helped me deal with them. I will tell people who have fear about the surgery to write them out and address them. Talk to people on this board who had the same fears you are experiencing now. Talk to your doctor, family member, friend or go to a support group meeting. Fear builds when keep it in.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

Most of them didn't feel it was necessary. Some were kind of pissed off. My dad has been supportive from day one. My husband has mixed feelings about the surgery. My job was supportive and I got a lot of support from Dr. Goyal's office. I got most of my support from this board. If I could do anything different now: I wouldn't tell my job or some other family members who now know. I would do this because it caused people to feel funny around me and view me differently than they should. Some people feel they can't be themselves around me because my diet changed or they feel I can't relate with food anymore. It also kind of put emotional pressure on others.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I work with a team of guys and they were extremly supportive. My supervisor and HR team also helped me a great deal and made sure I had everything I needed.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My stay at Overlook Hospital in Summit, New Jersey was a pleasant one. I was there for one night and was well enough to go home in the afternoon. Important things to bring with you are toothbrush, wash cloth, towel and soap. I bought some reading and writing material.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

I didn't have any complications with my surgery.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

Immediately after my surgery I noticed a change. My feet, back and legs didn't hurt. They always hurt. A few weeks after surgery I realized that I could move better than I did before. I felt lighter on my feet and I didn't experience daily headaches. I dealt with anxiety by writing in my blog, reading message boards, talking with my doctor and going to support group.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

My first few weeks at home were interesting. As my body adjusted to the surgery I wasn't very hungry the first few days. I was very happy about this. My joints didn't feel tight and I could walk with no problems. My stitches felt like I had done sit ups all day. It wasn't very painful at all. Things you should expect during this period: 1) Water and protein are vital because without it you can get dizzy. 2) You will feel a bit lighter, looser and be able to breathe better. 3) You may not get hungry that often. 4) Food will seem different. You may loose taste for a food.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

I had to take two trains and a taxi to get to the hospital. I like to travel so it wasn't a problem for me. My husband was with me and the trip to and from the hospital went fine.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

The first few days I was okay with cream of wheat. I couldn't eat broth because it tasted funny. Eggs depending on the day give me problems.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

My activity level increased after surgery. I could walk without stopping every 2-5 minutes. I was less tired and could function better. When i started exercising I was able to keep up after a few visits.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I take flintstones complete vitamins and tums.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

The only thing I had was nausea after surgery but i knew that it would happen. I told my doctors preop about my concerns and they took steps to try to limit and prevent it. I did deep breathing exercises during my hospital stay to help control it during nasuea medication. I had some motivational cards I had written and my husband had me read it out loud to him take my mind off of it. Sitting up helped a great deal too.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The worst part of the process is waiting to find out if you can get the surgery and dealing with the emotional after effects.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

My aftercare support was pretty good. I had my husband, my doctor's office, support group online (here) and off line, my dad and my writing. This year my emotions have been going up and down. I tried to deal with on my own but it got to a point where I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I couldn't understand it for month dealt with it on my own. Finally I decided to see a therapist. The first few I tried made me feel like a freak. I want to have a Tony Soperno type therapist. One who didn't just sit for an hour and let me talk and say "Uhmm" and prescibe me medication. I want some one who interacted with me and asked question and gave things to talk about and think about. I finally found one in Alice Fox. When I walked in I knew instinctively my search was over. Session one had me uncorking everything that was built up over the last year. At the end of it she hugged me and told me what we would do to help deal with what I was going through. She asked me questions during that session that made me think and for the first time in a long time I cried. It helped release some of the tension my mind, heart and body was feeling. My other means of support is writing out in my blog all the good, bad and funny things I have experienced with my weight loss journey. I read other blogs daily and helps me realize I am not alone. People who read my blog email me and support me and I found out I am helping other by being honest in my blog.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

My scars arent' that noticable at all. They healed up pretty well. They healed better than I expected.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

As of today, November 25, 2006 I have lost 25-30 lbs overall. Slow by most standards but I am dealing with it. I have been touch and go with the 270lb range. It's like I lose weight to reach 270 lb range, get scared and jump back to the comfort of 280lbs. I haven't changed my habits enough to break through the plateau but I will.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes people have treated me differently. It's mostly positive and a few negatively. I deal with each as it comes. The positive things are that people compliment me on what weight I have lost and have been able to maintain. They told me I am more outgoing and positive. On the negative I have noticed that some close relationships in my life are strained because I am making changes in my life.
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