Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I grew up in a very large family, eight children, and on top of that my mother would take on family that no one else would, elderly uncles, an abandon baby nephew. My dad was a construction worker in the 1950s and 60s. He would only work for six months a year. You get the picture, We were poor. Yet we didn't know it till we were told, high school kids are cruel. Anyway, going to bed hungry every night was just that weird feeling that breakfast would chase away. As I got older and made my own money babysitting, housecleaning and such things, and my older brothers and sisters were leaving to start live's of their own, I started gaining weight. I started to look healthy.There was more food to go around than there ever was. I started looking chubby. At 17 it was my turn. I had a good paying job my rent was cheap. Food!! Glorious FOOD!! All I could eat when I wanted it. I loved it! No sooner did I get married, I was pregnant. Half way through the pregnancy, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. After the baby was born I could not loss the weight or the Diabetes. I was working two jobs now, divorced and a single mother. My Ex husband never told me he did not like fat wonen till it was too late. I tried Weight Watches for the first time and did well I lost about 20 lbs. That's when I started noticing people at work treated me different now that I was thinner. I was offered a management job that I had put in for the year before and had been turned down. Now with out any other changes but weight loss THEY OFFER IT TO ME!! I remarried and had two more children, the weight came back on and then some. My Diabetes was out of control. My Endocrinologist told me if I did not get the extra weight off complications from it were in my near future. He wrote out a prescription for Phen -Phen, which at the time had great success. I lost 60 lb. I felt great full of energy and could work night and day. The drug was taken off the market. Something about people dying when taking it. The 60 lb turned into 90 lb when it came back. My life was over. I tried everything after that, over the counter diet pills, all the fad diets, Jenny Craig. I stopped going out after a friend and I had gone to a club and overheard some guys say "Great we have some Fat Chics here. Easy score" Eating at work events were awful. People would stare or point at my plate. While my significant other went over seas for his tour of duty in Iraq I joined the nearest gym. It took all of the 18 months he was gone to lose the weight. It took only a year for all the weight to come back plus again a few extra. Years have come and gone through all of this and those complications my Endro had talked about were realized. At an annual eye exam my Optometrist notice some bleeding in the back of my eye and sent me to a retina specialist. Diabetic retinopathy. Over the years we have done laser, surgery and steroid shots. During all of this my new Endocrinologist kept telling me I had to stabilize my blood sugars, lose weight, I had to keep increasing my insulin. I gained even more weight. At one of my doctor visits he mentioned the Gastric-Bypass and how it could help me lower may weight which would help steady my blood glucose levels. He gave me a couple of web-sites and some Doctors in my state that specialize in this type of surgery. I went home and studied. I read everything I could on the subject. It sounded solid. It really sounded like it would work for me. I called and made an appointment. The first step they told me was to go to a seminar and talk to the doctors, nurses and dietitians that would be there. I did and I was so excited. On the day I had my appointment with the doctor to see if I was even a candidate I was nervous but the doctor was so informative and reassuring that by the end of the visit I wanted to do this. This would be a new beginning and would really help me. I was told I was all set and the scheduler would call me and set up all the testing that had to be done before I could have the surgery. Days went by, months went by, I was getting more depressed by the second. I finally call the doctors office and asked if it usually took this long, the receptionist put me on hold. She came back a few minutes later and said they couldn't find any record of me being there and did I want to go to another seminar and come back in to see the doctor. I started to cry I could not speak. I was taking this as a sign that maybe I should even do the surgery it did sound to good to be true. My husband had said he didn't care either way he liked me the way I was. He has never realized how serous my diabetes and my diabetic retinopathy is. I hung up the phone. Six months went by, two Endo visits. Right before Christmas after my 45 birthday the economy went bust, oil prices, gas prices rent all went up and up and up. My job was going sour and so was my marriage. I turned to my husband and said " I should just roll over and die all ready" I felt that bad. I was absolutely shocked when he turned to me and said : Oh honey, do you want me to make you a sandwich? " I knew I had big problems. At my next Endo appointment he asked if I had been still considering the Gastric-Bypass. I told him what had happened and how I had been feeling. He asked me to wait in his office for just a minute while he made a phone call. He came back and handed me a card with an appointment date for the doctor that had told me I was a candidate for the surgery nine month's earlier. I went to that appointment and never looked back. All my testing was done within three months I had the surgery.on Valentines day while my husband was away in Kuwait with his unit. He found out when he call our son and complained I was not answering my phone. He came home to a new me. I am more confident and more out going than I ever was. I still have 30 lb to lose to reach my goal but it is possible and I will get there and stay there.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The feeling of inadequacy. The feeling that I was not in control. Then there are the physical elements like not being able to sit in a normal chair, Yes I broke it. Trying to keep up with others, Yes that was me wheezing.

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

I love how I feel normal, not the side-show fat girl. I love that I can eat like a normal person. I am able to fit into normal clothes. I think the thing I love most is I can play on the floor with my granddaughter and not worry about how I'm going to get up.