How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

From research and Carnie Wilson's story. My doctor said I was good candidate for the surgery because of some of the health problems and he got me a referral right away. He has been very supportive throughout the whole process. I was very leery and frightened at first, especially after I went to the seminar my surgeon had! But I continued on and ultimately decided to go ahead and go through the process.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

Actually, for me, the insurance approval was the hardest and longest part for me to get through. I had all my tests done and they had a long expanse of time between them so it felt like took forever! Once the paperwork was given to the insurance, it only took about 5 days to get the okay from them and then about 3 weeks for scheduling of the surgery. I could have had the surgery sooner but I opted to wait until my scheduled time. It was good for me to have the extra time to prepare myself and my family for our new way of life.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

Dr. Callery was very thorough in the first appointment. I realized after the seminar that there was going to be a lot of work on my side as well as his side and his staffs. He was very kind and thoughtful in his demeanor. He never made me feel like there was something wrong with me because of my obesity. Not very many doctors are this way anymore. He and his staff were very professional and I never felt like I was a bother to them (although I'm sure that Laurie was happy to finally have me scheduled-I drove her nuts with all my emails and calls!) To get the most, take a paper and pen and write down everything that is said to you, the things that are pertinent to your case. I had a hard time trying to remember everything that was said to me and having it all down made it seem less daunting. Be as honest as you can. Don't lie about drinking, smoking or eating. They can't help you if they don't have EVERYTHING about you recorded accurately. Bring a friend or significant other with you whenever you can. Many times, they might hear something that we didn't. They can also remind you of things you may have forgotten about and can be your biggest support and fan.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I know it was the quality of my life then and my quality of life later on. I have two wonderful sons and the best husband that God ever created. I was beginning to have trouble with my blood pressure, my asthma, my back and my life was becoming very difficult to maintain. I would come home from work absolutely exhausted and unable to manage everything else that I needed to do at home and at work. I decided that this was my chance to finally be rid of the weight that had plagued me my entire life. I was tired of feeling bad about myself and being ridiculed by others. I wanted my chance to shine!

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

My doctor mostly did open RNY's and some Laps. He explained to me that he could see better what he was doing in there with his own eyes rather than trusting the camera. I felt more comfortable with him being able to determine what my body needed during surgery and was unconcerned about the scar. It has faded so much over the last year that I know I made the best decision for me.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

Truthfully, I was terrified that I would die on the table or would end up having something terrible happen to me after surgery. I was afraid that I was leaving my husband with two boys to raise and no mom. I was going to write each of them letters in case I didn't make it, but I changed my mind about that. I trusted that God wouldn't have taken me so far and then not let me be around to enjoy what was given to me. I wanted to live not die! So I tried to focus on all the things that we would be able to do as a family once I had recovered from surgery and on to the rest of our lives. Express those fears to the ones you love. It's better to get it out there and talked about than trying to keep it all inside because you don't want to burden your loved ones. They want to know what is going on in your head so they can be the best support possible.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My family and friends understood why I wanted this surgery, but they were scared that I wouldn't survive the surgery. Several expressed a desire for me to try just one more diet, but I told them I had done enough of that my entire life and this was what I wanted to do to have a long, healthy life. I gave them all the information that I received so they knew exactly the same as what I knew. Everybody has been very supportive after my surgery. Some have said they wouldn't go through some of the things that I have, such as the surgery, but I believe that they have now seen in the flesh how effective it has been for me and they are happy and proud of me. I don't try to convert anybody that doesn't want the surgery, I support what methods they wish to try for themselves. I give them my opinion when I am asked but I don't try to push anybody to do something they don't want to do.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

She wanted to know why I wanted to do this to my body! She understood, but wouldn't ever want to do the same surgery. I didn't tell anybody else at work until I was back and then I had to start telling because people thought I had cancer and I was dying! I was losing weight very quickly and many coworkers were shocked that I had been losing so much weight. I was out of work for 6 weeks due to the fact that I do a lot of lifting in my job and I needed to give my abdominal muscles a chance to heal.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My stay was pleasant and really uneventful. My surgery went very well. No complications. I was in the hospital for 3 days. Most important to bring was my "Buddy". He was with me the entire time in the hospital and they even provided a cot for him to sleep in the room with me. He was my support and my advocate when I didn't feel I could be my own. He is my life-saver. I tend to not tell people when I am not feeling well and he had no problem speaking up for me when I felt like I couldn't.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

I had no real complications from the surgery. Everything went by the book and very well. The only real problem that I had was awful nausea that wouldn't go away. About 3 weeks after surgery, I called the Dr's office and he prescribed Reglan for the nausea and that helped a great deal. At about 6 weeks postop, I stopped having the nausea so badly and now only get it when I try to eat too much because something tasted so good! This is a very good deterrent for me and helps me remember that the pain of the nausea is not worth that extra bite! 2 years out I still suffer with nausea and dumping and I also have GERD that is kept in check with Protonix. I do still dump on sugar, deep-fried foods or other greasy foods. Too many fruits or veggies during the day can also cause me to have dumping and other intestinal discomforts. I tend to have more stomach flu episodes then I had in the past and it is just awful to endure when it happens. I have to eat because if I don't my blood sugar levels drop too low but if I eat, it tends to cause me feel like everything is just going to come right back up anyways. And it does sometimes. Other times, I just get the dry heaves which is really nasty even though there is nothing to throw up! Immodiom is also difficult to take when I have the heaves because I don't know if it will stay down long enough to have the desired effect and stop the cycle of intestinal problems.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I felt exhilerated and terrified at the same time! I felt that I was well prepared for the surgery and I wished it would just hurry up and my date would get there fast! I had the opportunity to have the surgery a little sooner but I opted to wait until my actual date of Aug 2, 2001. Believe it or not, I dealt with the anxiety by starting to eat like I would have to for the rest of my life before my surgery. This helped me to realize that I would be a success after having this surgery and I lost weight, 17lbs, even before my surgery. That is somewhat unusual as most people tend to have the "Last Supper" for the last couple of weeks and gain weight from the anxiety. I did have one last dinner date with some friends and I had Carnitas tacos, which are pork that is cooked then fried and served with avocado and tomatoes. I am looking forward to being able to have them again soon. Being the southern california area, I have ample opportunity to frequent mexican restaurants. I love spicy food! Well, 2 years out I can't eat spicy foods at all. But it's okay because there are many other foods that I enjoy that aren't spicy. I still do mourn the lost ability to comfort myself with food. I want to eat those comfort foods and sometimes I can indulge with a small amount of that food but I will never be able to consume the amounts that I used to consume. I can have a couple of bites of ice cream or brownies but not both together in a large bowl with fudge sauce and peanut butter on them. Peanut butter on my ice cream was my most favorite comfort food and the brownie underneath just intensified the feelings of comfort. But not for long because the disdain that I felt about myself afterwards, was an all-consuming hatred for myself. That's not a healthy self-image and I still struggle with that hatred that I feel about myself. I have had to really, really look at myself and learn to deal with life's struggles without using food to medicate myself and that's a very hard thing to do when all of my life I always dealt with life through food. I am not perfect, I still struggle with having a bad self-image and I still struggle with depression which proves to me that there really is a chemical imbalance in my brain.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

Expect to sleep a lot and be in a lot of discomfort. I am a tummy sleeper and this was impossible for the first couple of weeks. Take your time, let your family take care of you. I had the privilage of having meals delivered from ladies from our sunday school class that provided meals for my family. This was an absoulute Godsend! I didn't have to worry about cooking dinner for the those first two weeks and my family had tasty, hot meals ready to eat when they got home. My hubby doesn't like to cook and our two boys eat like food is going out of style! If you have the opportunity, let others help you this way. You will be relieved of that particular job and your family gets healthy, tasty meals to boot!

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

We had to drive about 45 minutes from our home but it didn't affect my aftercare at all.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

Off limits has been Corn, rice and doughy bread. I wasn't lactose intolerant before surgery but I seem to be right now. I ate salads by the 4th week and cooked veggies by the second week. I have been able to tolerate beef, pork, chicken, fish, with no problems. I can now eat just about everything except the corn, rice and doughy bread and flour tortillas. I just eat everything in very small portions. 2 years out there are many foods that I can't tolerate. Sugary, deep-fried, or oily foods are still not a part of my diet on a regular basis. I will eat 1 piece of candy or a small bag of chips but for the most part I try to avoid these types of foods. Eating too much fruit or too many veggies that are raw are hard for me to tolerate. I do eat salads but not every day. I have always loved fruits and veggies but I tolerate them much better when they are cooked. I frequently have stomach upsets even with foods that previously didn't affect me at all. It can be very frustrating! I still can't drink regular milk and definitely no sugar filled cereals either. I can drink milk that has the Lactaid added to it and yogurt and cheese don't bother me at all. I am very lucky that where I live there is a frozen yogurt store that carries several sugar-free and low-lactose flavors of frozen yogurt and they are sooooo good! One small container usually lasts me several times to treat myself as long as one of my sons' don't eat it first!

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

My activity level was pretty low at the beginning but now I am back to work and doing my normal and customary activities at both home and work. My energy level is much better now that I am 2 month's out. I can get through a whole day at work standing and running around the store and my feet don't give out on me and I have the energy to come home and fix dinner for my family. I can even keep up with my hubby at the mall and I don't have stop all the time to rest!

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I take calcium, iron, and multi-vitamin. Also Biotin for hair loss.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I had nausea and dumping pretty bad for the first 6 weeks. I still get the symptoms of dumping when I eat too fast or eat something that doesn't agree with me. I just handle whatever comes my way. The doctor did give me Reglan for the nausea and that helped tremendously. I am also now on Nexium for the nausea and that has helped me the most over the last few months. As of 10/31/03 I have been on Protonix for my GERD and I take generic Phenergen for the nausea. They do help but I have a lot of trouble trying to find the right balance for me. Even over 2 years out, it's still a balancing act.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The waiting! Hands down, that was the worst. The vomiting and nausea are not much fun either. I just have to keep working at it.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

I go to a support group out in the east county of San Diego, Ca. This meeting has all levels of the bariatric surgery patient. It has been tremendously helpful being able to relate to people who are going through the same stuff that I am. My family really does try to understand all that I am going through but because they haven't had the surgery, it is hard to explain to them what I am feeling or experiencing at any given moment.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

My scar is about 5" in length and still pretty red. It is getting smaller as I lose weight and is just now beginning to fade a little. Now that I am 10 months out, my scar is just a light pink and hardly noticible at all. I just hope the skin retracts a little more! At 1 year out today, the scar is very faint but still noticiable. But it's not going to stop me from trying on a bikini! Well, I'm almost 19 months out now and the scar is very pink, I notice it but others don't so much. I tried on the bikini and it wasn't bad at all! I think though that I will wear a tankini this summer on the beach. Almost 40 and I need to keep that into perspective. I do have blond hair now! That's been fun! Now that I am at 2 years post-op, my scar is still visible, but not too bad. It is still very pink but that's okay. It is down to about 4" in length now and I consider it my "War Wounds"!

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I haven't had a long plateau yet but I have had a two week one. That was kind of frustrating! I put away my my scale so that I didn't get so agitated every time I weighed myself! I started measuring myself instead and noticed that I was losing inches if not weight and that the pounds would come off when they were ready to. I have been maintaining now for about 5 months. Staying between 115lb and 120lbs. Size 4 in most clothing, a 2 in some dresses. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! Even with the complications that I have had over time. I'm lucky that sugar and deep-fried food still bother me so I tend to stay away from them. The thought of revision scares the bejeebers out of me! Now that I am at 2 years post-op, I still do dump on too much, sugar, fat and sometims even fruit. It's funny, I don't seem to dump on bananas, strawberries, or melon but I can dump on apples, oranges, and too much salad especially when tomatoes are on my salad. I love tomatoes! I am still satisfied with 1 truffle or other small treat once a day or so. When we go to the movies, I tend to get popcorn with butter and a diet Coke with lots of ice. The carbonation decreases dramatically when the soda has lots of ice. I don't eat a lot of popcorn but I do like to eat it as a snack most days at home.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes, I have noticed that. People actually look me in the eye now and don't ask my husband what I want. I think I feel better about myself and that it shows in how I relate to people. When I feel like I feel and look better other people notice that. I am now attending college and gave my first presentation last week in front of the whole class! I never would have had the guts (pardon my pun) to do that 101lbs ago! When I tell people that I have lost all this weight, they look at me like I must be nuts! It's a wonderful feeling!! I do resent the fact that people that wouldn't even aknowledge my presence when I was obese, now want to get to know me. I just schrug them off. If they didn't want to know me when I was heavy, I don't want to know them now that I am thin. What a double standard! I have now found that when people don't know that I have had surgery, they assume that I have never had to fight with my weight. I carry around a before picture just for those occasions. Now I see discrimination from overweight people, if you can believe that! They assume that I NEVER have to diet or pay attention to what I eat. And the snickers that I get when I order a salad when I am out to eat with my family. It seems that I can never win. So I don't try anymore. I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less. People still look at me an assume that I have never been overweight. I was hoping that it would change but people are still people; they will continue to judge people by whatever size they may be. Obese or too thin, it never seems to matter. I am underweight by at least 15lbs but I am from the small group of people who find it difficult to gain weight now. I never ever in my life thought I would hate to eat. But there are many times during the week that I just don't want to eat because the thought is so nauseating.