How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I had heard about it for years, but initially I thought there was no way I would go through such a drastic measure. Things are changing now, but at that time (early 1990s) the vast majority of the information out there lead you to believe that WLS would mean you could never eat properly again, that even though you'd lose the weight, you'd never be healthy because of the lack of food and nutrition you'd have because of the WLS.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I was astoundingly lucky with my insurance. The only requirement my insurance had was that you have to have a BMI of 40+, and a letter from your dr recommending the surgery. I submitted those documents a few days prior to the surgery, they sent me documentation to provide to the hospital for billing purposes, and I had the surgery...literally one week to plan it all! No hoops to jump through, no arguing, appealing, or anything...submit the documents, and you're good to go.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I met with the surgeon's assistant, who is a WLS patient herself, and she showed me and my husband a video on how the surgery works, on what the chances of complications were, what the expected outcome re the amount of weight loss was, etc. She recommended I go to obesityhelp.com to get answers to more questions and read about others who had the surgery and call them back if I had more questions or to schedule a follow-up meeting w/the dr. I called three weeks later and scheduled the follow-up meeting w/the surgeon, who met with me, answered my questions, and scheduled the surgery for the following Friday. It was that simple.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

I was tired of fighting my weight...I wasn't happy with it, my husband wasn't happy with it. I didn't have a lot of co-morbidity issues...it was really just tired of being tired. I wanted to have another baby (or two), and my husband wanted me to be at a healthy weight before thinking of them...and I was 38 years old and could hear my biological clock ticking. I did more research online and decided to go for it. Once I made the decision and talked to the dr...I knew that's the road I was going to follow, and I have not regretted it for a day. The only regret I have is not having done it 15 years ago. I think of how my life could have been different - I could have had additional children years ago, and my husband and I could have both been happier with my weight/looks for all that time - but am grateful I had it, regardless of when.

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

My dr recommended the RNY. I had wanted to have the lap band (because it was less invasive), but he said that he no longer performs the lap band surgery. He said there is too high of a number of incidents of slipped bands, and that when they slip, they cause severe problems like rubbing holes in the stomach. He also said research shows that they don't work as well for women, for whatever reason, as they do for men...and that the long-term results do not stand up as much as RNY.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I didn't fear complications or dying from the surgery...I just feared I'd be the one glaring example of a failure for the surgery and that I'd never lose any weight. I think part of it is that I had so little time from when I decided to have the surgery until the surgery was scheduled...I didn't have a lot of time to stop and think about it. Anyone having the surgery now...I'd tell them to make sure you're with a dr you trust, that your comfortable with his/her experience...and trust in God that things will turn out for the best. Depending on their co-morbidities...some people are facing a life or death situation having this surgery anyways...and at least by choosing the surgery...they're choosing life and will hopefully come through w/no problems and go on to enjoy a long one.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My husband was worried (he's the worrier in the family) but supportive. My son was visiting my husband's family in Egypt and didn't know about it. The only other people I told was my older sister and my co-worker. Everyone else at work, I just told them I had to have a surgery but didn't tell them why...and I didn't bother to tell my mother/father or other sisters. I am not close to them and don't need their opinions on what I do with my body. The few people I told were supportive of my decision and have since told me they're proud of me for taking charge of my weight.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I did not tell my employer...I just told them I had two back-to-back surgeries scheduled (WLS in early July, fibroid surgery end of August) and that I'd be out three months minimum. I had more than enough leave to cover for that time...and was in the process of transferring to another country anyways. I took 4 weeks off for the WLS, came back to work for 2 weeks, then took 5 weeks off for the fibroid surgery. I could have come back to work after about two weeks for each of them...but had leave to burn (use it or lose it) and took my time coming back. My job is very sedintary, so it's not difficult to come back and sit at a desk. My work is very understanding and willing to work around any illnesses or hospitalizations, and I have a lot of leave, so it wasn't a problem.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My hospital stay was OK. I was in Belgium and usually at least one nurse on each shift spoke a minimum amount of English. I paid the extra fees for a private room (I think about $50 a night) and they let my husband and son stay as long as they wanted because there was no one else in the room to disturb. I'd tell you to bring your own nightgown/robe an slippers....you don't want your other end hanging out when you're walking around trying to get moving. Bring your favorite pillow (I have a 'huggy' pillow I sleep with all the time) to make yourself comfortable...and a pair of socks to keep your feet warm. If you're like me...bring your lotion and lip balm. If you ever want to torture me, take them away from me.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

No...no complications. Everything went very smoothly.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I went to Germany for a day with my husband about two weeks after surgery, while I was still on the liquid part of the diet. I was doing fine...slept in the car on the way there (it was about one hour driving), and did fine for the few hours we were there walking around...until we were on our way back to the car. I had left my protein drink mix in the car and planned on getting some cold water to mix it up and drink it once we got to the car...but about three blocks from the car...I lost all my energy and was ready to lay down on the sidewalk and go to sleep. I literally was considering flagging a taxi to take me those last few blocks, I was so tired. I stopped to rest every 50 feet or so and finally made it to the car. My husband went and got the cold water for me and I mixed my drink and drank it while we sat there...and after about 30 minutes, started feeling vastly better...but I have never felt exhaustion like I did that day. For those immediately post-op...I'd tell you to NEVER LEAVE HOME W/O A PROTEIN DRINK ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES. This will fade after you are on soft/solid foods, because you have more able to find something you can eat while you're out and about...but for that immediate post-op stage...ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS keep something with you that you can drink.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

You will get tired easily...you will feel like you're hardly eating anything. Foods you used to love will have no appeal...sweet things will taste too sweet (including sugar free drinks like Crystal Light). Once you graduate to solid food...you'll find that things you used to like give you the shudders now (eggs)...but you have to play around with it and find what works for you. I never liked chicken breasts even pre-op..now I don't eat them unless there is no other protein choices, because they're too dense/chewy. I have a hard time with chicken, fish or beef (I don't eat pork) that's too dense or dry. Shrimp is my best friend...which is good considering it's only $2.50 a pound in Indonesia! You will be able to do some walking...but be sure and take your water with you to get it down...and keep that protein drink handy in case you need it. Don't push yourself too hard and listen to your body...when it says it's tired, rest it. It's been through a lot.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

5 miles? If? But then I moved half-way around the world...from Belgium to Indonesia. After car has consisted of emails and letters. I've pretty much been responsible for my own results.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I still have trouble with eggs....I try to eat them because I know they're high in protein...but it's hard. It's easier to eat them when they're hot and fresh...and I can only eat a little (one) at a time. Mayo doesn't agree with me except in very small quantities, so egg salad won't disguise it. I have trouble with dry or dense meat...I need moist and easy to chew. I have to drink milk in small amounts or it makes me sick to my stomach. I have a hard time eating a small bowl of cereal w/milk w/o getting a sick feeling (I don't dump...just feel like crap). I am two years post-op and can eat almost anything - sometimes too much...and sugars go down way to easy...but I'm much more in control of my portions of sugary things. IE...before, I'd buy a pack of Oreos and do my best to get throughas much of the pack as possible...no I'm OK w/a handful...and I usually lick out the insides and pitch the cookie. I think portion control for me has changed more than anything else. I still eat the things I love, I just have better control on HOW MUCH I eat. I may never reach my 'perfect' goal (dr set) of 55-60 kilos...but I'm about 80-85 kilos right now and happy. I know whenever I have my plastic surgeries, I'll probably lose 5-10 more kilos in extra skin/fat still hanging on my stomach and thighs...but I really am happy as a size 12. I never in my life pictured myself in this size...and would stay there forever rather than undo everything this surgery has done for me.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Immediately post op, I tried to get out there and walk a bit a few days a week...then I had a 2nd surgery for a fibroid and that took longer to recover from (it was an open surgery compared to the WLS being laproscopic). I do have more energy now...and now instead of my husband telling me to hurry up and keep up with him (he's a foot taller than me), where I used to feel like I had to jog along to keep up...now he's telling me to slow down...and I don't even notice that I'm walking so fast. I still have a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym and be more active...I'm a happy couch potato....but do much better at the gym when I go and feel a lot less self-conscience about going.

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I immediately started using bariatric advantage multi & calcium, as well as zinc pills. With my blood work being regularly checked, I added B-12 daily, Vitamin D and Iron daily. Now I take the multi, calcium, Vitamin D & iron daily, B-12 on Mon/Wed/Fri, and zinc on Mon/Fri. I haven't had any major issues...just fluctuations requiring changes in the frequency and type of vitamins I take.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

I have very long hair (down past my butt) and I noticed that it thinned after surgery...but not enough that even my husband noticed. Now that my weight has stabalized and I'm eating better...the hair loss has stopped and my hair looks fine. I have only thrown up one time...I ate a bowl of Grape Nuts w/milk and raisins...and my stomach didn't like it. Eggs make me feel like I'll vomit...but I just limit my eating of eggs and I'm Ok with that. These things (too much milk or eggs) are still a problem with me that I am aware of and just work around. I sometimes 'disguise' eggs my mashing them up and putting salad stuff - chick peas, chopped peppers, etc, in them to hide the taste/texture, and I'm OK with that...but still have to watch how many eggs I try to sneak in.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

Initially after the surgery, once you graduate up to real food...you don't ENJOY eating. You eat because you have to and you try to find something that agrees with your stomach...but you don't enjoy eating...it seems more like a punishment...like when your mom used to make you sit at the table until you cleared your plate. you're still sitting there trying to eat and every one else is done. It takes a while for that feeling to pretty much go away...but it does come back sometimes. Also...if you get sick with a serious illness...the first thing to go is your desire to eat. I was hospitalized a year ago w/a severe kidney infection that resulted in my kidney being removed...and I lost about 7 kilos in three weeks because I couldn't eat. In the five days I was sick before being hospitalized, I literally ate three bites of beef and a half bowl of 'muscle milk and oats' cereal. If you get sick...you need to at least push your liquids and try to sneak in some protein drinks. If the chocolatey ones don't agree with you, try the fruit flavored ones and vis-versa..till you find what you can drink. Everyone's different...what you like and can stomach may make someone else vomit.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

None. I only have obesityhelp.com, because I live in Indonesia.

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

I had laproscopic surgery and most of the scars faded to nothing. My kidney removal last year was also laproscopic and the scars from that are still there but not as red and inflamed. The scars are what I expected...I had laproscopic surgery years ago to remove my gall bladder. You can't even see those scars.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

I lost weight pretty steadily until I reached where I'm at right now...about 80 kilos (180 pounds?). I have not made a lot of effort (exercise) to go below that. I will eventually...I also want to have plastic surgery to get rid of the extra skin...but I didn't have a lot of plateaus getting where I'm at. I've been at this weight for about a year (I'm 2 years out as of yesterday).

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

I moved a few months after having the surgery, so the people who knew me when I was larger are not here...but I do notice people treat me differently than I perceived being treated when I was heavier. Men are more likely to hold the door for me, people are more friendly, things like that.