Tammi H.

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I would be glad to have this second chance to relose the weight. So in just 11 days I will be having the overstich reduction procidure. I am ready. Looking forward to change, and completing what changes I have worked on making. It isn't going to be no cake walk. However, I do need thisi badly, my health isn't doing to well with this extra weight. I almost feel like I felt the first time. Body hurts, hurts to do anything. Heel is injured, knee hurts and have a brace for it, so with weight loss, more then likely allot of issues I deal with now will ease up or better yet, go away.

On this date I will get a procedure, an one day in and out ROSE procedure done. If it doesn't do the job after a period of time then my bariatric dro will do something, but at this time he wants to try something that is less all the way around. I am pretty pumped abot this, hoping to start to relose with this tool. It is a tool, and I will have to work at using it. So I am seeing a therapist along with dietitians and support, I will see some kine of success. I believe it will be the amount I want to see, which is over 50 pounds, am going to leave the amount at that. LOL hahaha. don't know just what I should lose and if it is going to be possible to eve reach 50, however with everything going on, on my side and the good Lord wanting to meet the desires of my heart, I for surely also have him on my side. So how can I fail, a second time. I see and understand the mistakes I did, and how I am going to fight to keep away from repeating them. 

Yeah, Go me!!! I am also my biggest supporter. Knowing what I need to know.

Praise God for this second chance that many people don't get.

I am so thrilled and glad, and yet I am so sad. 

Went to get approved for the revision where they go down the mouth and into my pouch to resize my BOTTOM  stoma back to where it should be at. So again when I eat I will feel a restriction again, right now I feel almost like I eat non stop. Hungry all the time.

 Now the sad part, AS I WAS GONE, I got a call from my mom, she had fallen, couldn't get up, and couldn't get through to 911, so I got home pushed her allert button, and help was on it's way. I couldn't ride with her, no real way to get home  And the meds and them got here, after I tried to get here more comfortable. They did get to er, and she found out she broke at this time her femur, unsure of anything more, still running tests on here. She is comfortable, as much as they can get her with some morphine. So As I am excited my stoma is going to get resized to where it needs to be. Unsure when I will have my surgery, Mom's is tomorrow.

Well if you read this, soon, pls say a prayer for Mom. Thank you.

Either I get the revisition or I continue to lose a grip on this weight. I don't know how. I am eating less candy bars, and soda intake is almost down to nothing. But I do know that I have to get a better hold on this even if and or when I get the revisition surgery.

a  update just saw my surgion and I will be getting my bottom stoma stiched up. So I will not be feeling a restriction. This procedure is an in and an out. They go down through the mouth, in and out. Yes, I am ready for some help to eat less again.

Thank you God. You know the need for this.

Things haven't been normal around here. So SOON when I addapt to the new ways, Maybe, no wait no maybes about it, let me say they WILL start to turn around for me. I must move to lose. I have been doing more then I thought I was physically able do, pushing self past confurt place, and found I can do more getting out and about moving. So no more of ALWAYS relying on other to hel e and to do for me. With FIBRO it is a difficult thing to manage and try to figure out just how it is best to do things out with out being down and out for much more time then one spends doing what was needed to get done. So I have been trying to do that, do believe I have ended u on the more lazy side of it. No more, am and wil do what I can to regain that portion of my life back.

It seems no matter how I work to get the weight off. The addiction to food is just extremely hard to over come. I don't know if I am going to be able to break free of it with a husband whom I am seperated from, but still friends, and a mother whom eats and suggests yummys to me forever. God why do they do this? 

Tomorrow I see my dietition (misspelled) most likely. I am sure she is going to flip over backwards when she sees I have gained and not lost. Well must face the music, and perhaps it will kick start me into the right path again.

This last photo is where I was to be again. It tood me awhile to get there, but it didn't take me long to get where I am now, which is still the size I was at me small tiny wedding, that dress was just horrable. I was and am too large for having gone through so much to get to and stay at a healthy weight. This will be my thrid time losing after the RNY, I am perhaps getting a revision if I qualify again, and when ever it happens. I have been trying and working for months and I am losing then some how it finds it way right back on me again, don't notice much changes, so am going to use an app to make sure I see everything I do and do not put in my body. God I know you are here with me, I can do all things in Christ Jesus.

• 
• Things are looking like they are going to be looking ALLOT better.
• Husband whom has taken over the kitchen and has done most all the cooking is MOVING OUT INTO HIS OWN APARTMENT,
• Now I will be, and caregiver ( who had WLS 3 yrs ago ) will be aiding and assisting me into propper meals.
• ones I know what is in them, unlike the husbane ( soon ex)  and other care giver. So  this is indeed a brand new journey, one I haven't been on for quite some time now. 
• God I have faith in you that you ones  you are taking from my life and replacing with other, it is for a grander perpose, I may not see it right away or see much of it at all, but I know Almighty, your will be done, not mine. I must alway remember to place you first, I repent  aske you for forgiveness. In the mighty name of Jesus, thank you for this day, AMEN

 I in the struggle of getting a divorce from a man whom I DID NOT say my vows to, just less then 3 years ago. I don't like the idea of divorce and so badly wanted to remain married and never divorce, but I don't love him, after all that has gone on and not gone on in this marriage I just feel we are continueing to wound each other as we remain in this marriage and together. He thinks we are going to do a short trial seperation, therapy/counseling and then do everything we can do to get back together. But I can't live with him, I can't stay where I am not in love. I am not satisfied. All the foundations of this marriage doesn't exist, or has crumble shortly after saying I do. Mr Husband is Mr. someone I didn't and wouldn't had married if he hadn't hid this part of himself away from me.

With all this going on, it is extremely hard to even think about reaching ANY WEIGHT GOALS. So I am just going to make attenpts to make fitness goals, get healthier then once he is GONE, AWAY, OUT OF MY LIFE, I can then go back to being less stressed and more able to eat the way this surgery and my genics intends for me to eat. Thanks for reading my vent.

Everyone, have a great successful day. If there be set backs, know tomorrow will always bring a new day for new beginnings. God bless. IF you pray, pls say one for me that the husband gets a place and soon.

Well good night here in Western Washington state.

Some older to newer photos. This one of me in the pink is abt the largest I got after the surgery. then the red I am starting to lose down to the lowest, and then the last one is pretty much me now after the regain of being down to my lowest. God is good. IF He has seen me through all this, he can see me through more. My power comes from HIM above.

Spoke to the revision Dr and he said that I have 3 months to see how it goes then he will make the choice then. However the surgery is high risk, low results and of course only lasts a year. So at this point I am on my own, Well can't say that fully as I have the wellness plan, to support me, and help see me through this, and with God on my side, I have lost weight many times before, I can lose it (50+lbs) to reach my goal

How ever, living with mother, and husband for temp time until he gets a home of his own so he's not booted out on the streets, they eat completely different then I do. So I have dig deep inside of me and find the power to fight mostly to prove to my husband I can do this while he is still here. Let me assure you, those few who read this. first of all I AM DOING THIS FOR MYSELF, AND MY HEALTH. God is good. He has seen me through before, and I know He will for sure see me through this once again..

blury due to husband being the one taking them,

My Annie, before my service dog I have now, (Starr) and this was taken back when I was pretty much my smallest and I am SO going to meet this and see this once again. I am looking forward to getting there. No pain no gain.