Russell B.

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beanblossom 19 years, 1 month ago

Do not stand at my grave and weep, "I am not there, I do not sleep." I am thousand winds that blow; "I am the diamond glints on the snow, "I am the sunlight on ripened grains; "I am the gentle autumn's rain. "When you awake in the morning's hush, "I am the swift uplifting rush "Of the quiet birds in circled flight. "I am the soft star that shines at night." Do not stand at my grave and cry. "I am not there; I did not die AuthorUnknown-kristi

Brenda L. 19 years, 2 months ago

Cheryl, I am so sorry to read about your brother. I didn't know this memorial section even existed until today 9-27-2005 as a friend of mine online sent me the link and begged me not to have the DS surgery. I have to admit I have read a lot of them and I have cried for them. I now sit here with my children and I read you letter of update and my oldest daughter is scared for me to have this and I am too now. My DH sat today as I read some of them aloud and he cried and said I don't want to lose you Bren, please don't do this. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders when he said that and I realized I had been putting my faith in him and the fact he believed I would be ok. I am so sorry about your brothers death and I am so sure that no matter how big he was, he was very loved just the way he was. It is a shame we cannot just accept the way we are and be happy, but it sucks not to be able to do the things that people do everyday, like tie your shoes or even walk to the mailbox :(. I will not forget your story of what happened to your brother nor how you feel and have told the truth of what you know. TY so much and may GOD be with you and your family. Have a peaceful night, Brenda Lee Harmatuk Florida. [email protected]

cheryl M. 19 years, 3 months ago

Hi Everyone. The last time I posted was a few days after Russell's death, and now almost 3 1/2 years later it is time to update this site on WHAT actually happened. Russell went into surgery-the open R-N-Y procedure, gallbladder and esophogeal fundiplication on April 16, 2002. He was 35 years old, and while his weight was great, Russell was still very active and aside from treated hypertension and GERD (which he never recieved any treatments other than the fundiplicaiton his surgeon says he did and the one on autopsy)-He enjoyed his life teaching his middle school students, even the month before taking a bus load down to FL to Disney for the annual trip each year. We were quite SHOCKED to loose him that day, and since then I have not only done an extensive review of his medical records, but my family has just recently ended a several year law suit against the surgeon who did the procedures. According to the autopsy performed by the state medical examiner's office on Russell, less than 24 hours post death, Russell died of hemorhagic shock because of an "injury to the splenic vein." So I am telling you that HE bled to death while under the care of not only his surgeon, but an anesthesiologist and several registered nurses. Any court records or testimony could show that for various reasons (of which I TOTALLY FIND INEXCUSABLE), the folks in charge of his care MISSED the obvious which in my opinion ANY first year red cross first aide provider could have seen. OK! I am not here to re-argue the case-or to even discuss its outcome, but rather to WARN anyone thinking of this procedure of risks you can't possibly calculate in the percentages when you actually see that while the statistics state that less than 2% die-count the numbers yourself. LOTS of folks are dying out there! While WLS with the risk of death may be a reasonable risk to YOU--Have you thought about your loved ones? My brother-even if he had had serious co-morbidities-which he did not (even yet if ever) developed, would have possibly lived to at least 50-which to tell you the truth in today's times is STILL quite too young to die. If your quality of life isn't good right now-DO you WANT to die? I suppose life could be so awful for folks that one would choose a risky surgery in order to possibly reverse problems that seem so insurmountable. I am in the same boat with many obese folks. As a matter of fact, I am morbidly obese-but I WILL NOT have the surgery, but rather choose to live each day and WORK to reverse my circumstances through healthy eating and activity. Either way, it's ALL a RISK-but I am personally choosing to FIGHT and live each day rather than find myself at the mercy of a medical community that neither understands and in my opinion CARES about me any further than my money will take me. I had the honor of listening to experts on the stand refer to obese patients as "these kinds of people" and more in references made to the world who is overweight and DESPERITE for help. I know my brother was, and he was desperate and DID take the risk. Now I ask you WHO would CHOOSE to live in this society that neither understands nor accepts the morbidly obese? We are in a class of folks who are lastly with the smokers of recent years who are looked down upon as folks of low character and ability. I understand the desperation. I understand the desire for a normal (whatever or where ever that is) life. Folks are just plain cruel to fat people as if we are some how totally responsible for our very large bodies and UNWILLING to do a thing about such socially unacceptable existences. I will tell you that months prior to his surgery, he had discussed with me his thoughts and encouraged me to have the surgery as well. I have to tell you that one visit to this very site way back then brought me to TEARS when I read about the young people who have passed away--check out their stories. Understand that THEY too have left behind folks who are living WITHOUT them each day-their hearts aching and longing to have them BACK!! But alas, it is impossible for the angel who comes to take folks from this world to ever return one so treasured. THE PAIN is sooooooooo deep. It is soooooooo present. My purpose is again to have those who are researching this "option" to understand a bit of our story so that perhaps more insight is gained and the risks fairly assessed. I feel that an honest and larger picture of wks should be given in more than just glowing success stories. I am truly happy and believe that for those with successful outcomes it can be WONDERFUL! I am hoping to balance the view. Somewhere on this website is also an area where complications are discussed. Anyone noticing that some folks are dying YEARS after they have reached an acceptable/normal weight? Research that one out as well, but be wise when I tell you that even the BEST research MAY be FAULTY because while our surgeon has been sued-find record of it. FIND record of where almost any physician has been sued and had payed any kind of judgement. It is easy to say that "complications due to surgery, co-morbidities" as if to blame the patient for his own demise. Alas, there is yet another problem in this system of medical care that allows consumers-we patients-to choose our products-medical services-and NOT to be able to fully and completely COMPARE and EVALUATE the services we recieve. My brother believed, accurately or inaccurately(really a mute point NOW) that his physician had NEVER lost a patient. Sounds reassuring? See if you could EVER find out that info, better yet-expect to know before you sign up!! My heart aches not only for our loss of such a special man, my only sibling-my baby brother, but also for all of us WHO NEED HELP battling obesity. WE need REAL help-not a loaded gun while our physician plays Russian roulette with our lives because of the many many risks-some you can calculate-others you may not. REAL help! It is my prayer for each of us- REAL HOPE that an answer will be found that could truly help folks. I know there are many who have been helped successfully. If my brother had received good medical care-he'd be here with you all rejoicing in his success too! BUT factors-risks-we must all THINK heavily about them that cannot all be fully addressed or even delt with. It is VERY risky. BUT watch those numbers-has anyone but me heard in statisitcs class in college that "statistics LIE?" They can be skewed to reflect just about anything. AGAIN-BEWARE! AS for me, I am going to be here at least until I conquer obesity myself with God's help or until some co-morbidity takes me out-either way though, I plan to live and I MEAN LIVE each day-enjoying this life that is GOD given-praying for His help and strength for my future. I offer you my hope in life as well. God bless you as you search for your answer and help in defeating your heath condition. I believe it is TIME for you all to know what really happened to Russell, otherwise like so many others who are remembered in the memorials section, he too could be being blamed for his own demise. With a loving hug, cheryl Russell's big sister.

cheryl M. 19 years, 3 months ago

Hi Everyone. The last time I posted was a few days after Russell's death, and now almost 3 1/2 years later it is time to update this site on WHAT actually happened. Russell went into surgery-the open R-N-Y procedure, gallbladder and esophogeal fundiplication on April 16, 2002. He was 35 years old, and while his weight was great, Russell was still very active and aside from treated hypertension and GERD (which he never recieved any treatments other than the fundiplicaiton his surgeon says he did and the one on autopsy)-He enjoyed his life teaching his middle school students, even the month before taking a bus load down to FL to Disney for the annual trip each year. We were quite SHOCKED to loose him that day, and since then I have not only done an extensive review of his medical records, but my family has just recently ended a several year law suit against the surgeon who did the procedures. According to the autopsy performed by the state medical examiner's office on Russell, less than 24 hours post death, Russell died of hemorhagic shock because of an "injury to the splenic vein." So I am telling you that HE bled to death while under the care of not only his surgeon, but an anesthesiologist and several registered nurses. Any court records or testimony could show that for various reasons (of which I TOTALLY FIND INEXCUSABLE), the folks in charge of his care MISSED the obvious which in my opinion ANY first year red cross first aide provider could have seen. OK! I am not here to re-argue the case-or to even discuss its outcome, but rather to WARN anyone thinking of this procedure of risks you can't possibly calculate in the percentages when you actually see that while the statistics state that less than 2% die-count the numbers yourself. LOTS of folks are dying out there! While WLS with the risk of death may be a reasonable risk to YOU--Have you thought about your loved ones? My brother-even if he had had serious co-morbidities-which he did not (even yet if ever) developed, would have possibly lived to at least 50-which to tell you the truth in today's times is STILL quite too young to die. If your quality of life isn't good right now-DO you WANT to die? I suppose life could be so awful for folks that one would choose a risky surgery in order to possibly reverse problems that seem so insurmountable. I am in the same boat with many obese folks. As a matter of fact, I am morbidly obese-but I WILL NOT have the surgery, but rather choose to live each day and WORK to reverse my circumstances through healthy eating and activity. Either way, it's ALL a RISK-but I am personally choosing to FIGHT and live each day rather than find myself at the mercy of a medical community that neither understands and in my opinion CARES about me any further than my money will take me. I had the honor of listening to experts on the stand refer to obese patients as "these kinds of people" and more in references made to the world who is overweight and DESPERITE for help. I know my brother was, and he was desperate and DID take the risk. Now I ask you WHO would CHOOSE to live in this society that neither understands nor accepts the morbidly obese? We are in a class of folks who are lastly with the smokers of recent years who are looked down upon as folks of low character and ability. I understand the desperation. I understand the desire for a normal (whatever or where ever that is) life. Folks are just plain cruel to fat people as if we are some how totally responsible for our very large bodies and UNWILLING to do a thing about such socially unacceptable existences. I will tell you that months prior to his surgery, he had discussed with me his thoughts and encouraged me to have the surgery as well. I have to tell you that one visit to this very site way back then brought me to TEARS when I read about the young people who have passed away--check out their stories. Understand that THEY too have left behind folks who are living WITHOUT them each day-their hearts aching and longing to have them BACK!! But alas, it is impossible for the angel who comes to take folks from this world to ever return one so treasured. THE PAIN is sooooooooo deep. It is soooooooo present. My purpose is again to have those who are researching this "option" to understand a bit of our story so that perhaps more insight is gained and the risks fairly assessed. I feel that an honest and larger picture of wks should be given in more than just glowing success stories. I am truly happy and believe that for those with successful outcomes it can be WONDERFUL! I am hoping to balance the view. Somewhere on this website is also an area where complications are discussed. Anyone noticing that some folks are dying YEARS after they have reached an acceptable/normal weight? Research that one out as well, but be wise when I tell you that even the BEST research MAY be FAULTY because while our surgeon has been sued-find record of it. FIND record of where almost any physician has been sued and had payed any kind of judgement. It is easy to say that "complications due to surgery, co-morbidities" as if to blame the patient for his own demise. Alas, there is yet another problem in this system of medical care that allows consumers-we patients-to choose our products-medical services-and NOT to be able to fully and completely COMPARE and EVALUATE the services we recieve. My brother believed, accurately or inaccurately(really a mute point NOW) that his physician had NEVER lost a patient. Sounds reassuring? See if you could EVER find out that info, better yet-expect to know before you sign up!! My heart aches not only for our loss of such a special man, my only sibling-my baby brother, but also for all of us WHO NEED HELP battling obesity. WE need REAL help-not a loaded gun while our physician plays Russian roulette with our lives because of the many many risks-some you can calculate-others you may not. REAL help! It is my prayer for each of us- REAL HOPE that an answer will be found that could truly help folks. I know there are many who have been helped successfully. If my brother had received good medical care-he'd be here with you all rejoicing in his success too! BUT factors-risks-we must all THINK heavily about them that cannot all be fully addressed or even delt with. It is VERY risky. BUT watch those numbers-has anyone but me heard in statisitcs class in college that "statistics LIE?" They can be skewed to reflect just about anything. AGAIN-BEWARE! AS for me, I am going to be here at least until I conquer obesity myself with God's help or until some co-morbidity takes me out-either way though, I plan to live and I MEAN LIVE each day-enjoying this life that is GOD given-praying for His help and strength for my future. I offer you my hope in life as well. God bless you as you search for your answer and help in defeating your heath condition. I believe it is TIME for you all to know what really happened to Russell, otherwise like so many others who are remembered in the memorials section, he too could be being blamed for his own demise. With a loving hug, cheryl Russell's big sister.

Frvsnt O. 20 years, 8 months ago

Good Morning and a Happy 2 Year Re-birthday to you!!! I found this quote and just love it! When running up a hill, it’s alright to give up as many times as you wish – as long as your feet keep moving. By - Shoma Morita M.D. I can only imagine that your experience has been wonderful. Full of changes and new experiences. I can hardly wait to see what I look like and feel like one year out!!! Congratulations to YOU!!! If you have an opportunity and/or haven’t already, please stop by and update your profile! We’d all love to know how well you’ve progressed!!! Have a FANTASTIC DAY! RNY 10/31/03 down 88 pounds!!!

John N. 20 years, 11 months ago

My thoughts are with Russell's familly and friends today. I lost my 45 year old husband due to post surgery complications 10/03. You can e mail me through myhusband's profile page. - wife of deceased member

jenn2002 21 years, 11 months ago

I was thinking about Russell today at my 6 month but really 8 month check up. We were supposed to be WLS buddies as my surgery was 4/22/02. He emailed me the night before his surgery to wish me luck on my upcoming surgery. Just a thought today.

Kathi D. 22 years, 8 months ago

My deepest sympathies to your family during this very hard time. My thoughts and prayers are with you..

Marcia S. 22 years, 8 months ago

To Russell's family, friends, and loved ones: I am so sorry for the extreme pain I know you are experiencing. I did not know Russell, however, it is quite obvious how much he was loved by the group I was a co-member in with him. Thank you for your generous consideration of our thoughts and feelings for Russell. It is helpful to hear from you at this time of great difficulty. Marcia

Elle R. 22 years, 8 months ago

I just wanted to express my grief at Russell's passing. Too young, too soon, it could have been any of us. Who knows why Russell was chosen... Russell, you will be missed. Elle Rowley