Question:
Is there anything that you shouldn't say to the nutritionist or psychologist?
I am scheduled to meet with the nutritionist and psychologist for assessments determining whether or not I'm a candidate for surgery. I hate to ask, but, is there anything I specifically should not say? Are there any "triggers" I can set off that would make them deny me? I want to be honest, but, I know that some make underlying assumptions from simple honest answers. I don't want to make any waves that will disqualify me from having this surgery. Please help. What are they looking for? — [Anonymous] (posted on August 8, 2001)
August 8, 2001
Be honest!!!
— Betty Todd
August 8, 2001
I had my psych eval this afternoon. I was very nervous because looking at
me I don't look like a candidate even though my bmi is 40. He was honest
about his observation. I thanked him for being honest and then I tried to
make him see what a life dragging around 113 extra pounds with bad knees
and a bad back is like. I was COMPLETELY HONEST, and I shared my dreams of
being able to play and run or just plain WALK with my 17 month old. I told
him everything i've missed out on so far and that I don't want to miss
anymore. I told him about my plans to be more active once I got this
weight lifted off of me! He understood. He asked me if I had any
questions for him. One of them was what his thoughts were. He said he
wouldn't hold me back. That he felt I truly knew what I was in for and
that I seemed eager and determined to make it work. Also that if it didn't
work, he didn't feel like I would try to, say, KILL MYSELF!! He was a last
minute replacement and wasn't a fan of gastric bypass, but with HONESTY, I
made him see it from my view.
Hope this helps....
— Ruth W.
August 8, 2001
I wanted to be honest too, but sure would'nt be again.
I was going to tell you the "one thing not to say"... but you
want to be honest (which I understand and is commendable). So take your
chances with being honest. Me,
I wanted the surgery bad enough that I would do whatever it took. Good luck
with honesty. You'll need it. ;) Shrinks and
nutricianists are in it for the money. If they can jerk you around for
awhile it makes more money for them. I hope
you can have the surgery and it will work well for you.
Mine is. But the people who say "be honest" were fortunate
indeed. Or I just have "sucker" written all over me and get taken
advantage of. Or maybe there are more crooked "professionals"
here in Upstate NY than in other states. "You" will have to
decide for yourself which is more important, the surgery (if it is for you)
or your integrity. Sometimes you just can't have both. I'm not just talking
about WLS, I've had to go through alot of crap in the past to get approval
for surgeries and it is a REAL money making skeem to them. WLS is NO
different. ;)
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
— Danmark
August 9, 2001
Ok, normally, I'm a big advocate of honesty. However, not in this
particular case. There are some things you don't want to tell them about.
First, any eating disorders you've had, it's ok if you've barfed once or
twice, but if you've had a real eating disorder in the past, don't tell
that. Also, any drug or alcohol abuse, don't mention. Any attempts to
"hurt" yourself, definitely out. I think someone once mentioned
a years old cutting incident and got denied. At these sessions you need to
be upbeat, well informed, and committed. LET ME ALSO SAY. If you still
have any trace of an eating disorder, severe psychological problem or
substance abuse problem. You need to address these things BEFORE surgery.
Get ye to a therapist or whatever it takes. It is too easy to hurt
yourself after the surgery and if you are already predisposed to it, the
surgery will backfire and may be very harmful. Knowledge is power, read
as much as you can before these visits and you will impress them. Good
luck.
— kcanges
August 9, 2001
Honestly usually is the best way to go. I think one should look at the
psyche eval as an opportunity, not a challenge. However, I must say that I
did leave a few things out...but nothing important, nothing that I felt
really applied to this surgery. But that's just me. I went in with a very
positive attitude, very well-informed, and the ability to express my self
clearly and intelligently. I have a tendency to come of as very confident
- which I actually thought may work against me. So, before going, I thought
maybe I should play a more miserable me...but realized it wasn't me. I AM
positive, confident, and intelligent and I think as long as the psyhiatrist
can see that in you, everything will be okay. I talked candidly about my
binge eating, my depression, my family history, my diet history, and most
importantly my motivation. I was honest about wanting to look good -
another thing that I thought may work against me. Although I need this
surgery for my health..I won't cop to being a holier-than-thou WLS martyr.
The bottom line is that I made it quite clear to her that I wanted this
surgery because being 160lbs overweight is a very, very, very hard life and
at 26 it is not a life I want to continue living if I don't have to. Plain
and simple, I think she appreciated that, understood me clearly, and
consequently gave me her big ole stamp of approval.
— [Anonymous]
August 9, 2001
Well, ok. I give up! ;) I'll tell you the one thing NEVER to admit to, and
that is being a "GRAZER". But if you are, (and I am) do your
damnest to beat it! I certainly understand why they don't want you to be.
And I'm doing good fighting it thanks to the surgery. But I don't want to
get over confident and get careless. Anyway to the best of my knowledge,
they will deny you if they think you have this problem. And they would be
probally justified. ;)
— Danmark
August 9, 2001
I just wanted to briefly add to my last comment. Every psych. and
nutritionist is different. Some are wonderful and you can be completely
honest with. However, some people have been treated very badly by these
people and some people have been denied for what seemed like silly reasons.
I think that it's very important to have a therapist through the process,
but save the big issues for that therapist. Present a very together self
to the ones who will decide your fate. I really don't like dishonesty but
I know that I was given false information at my psych. eval. and that made
my one little lie sit a little better.
— kcanges
August 11, 2001
The psychologist needs to know that you have very thoroughly and
thoughtfully researched WLS. They are looking for stability and they want
to make sure that WLS is not an impulsive decision. Show them you have a
stable life, stable relationships, good support system, and a realistic
expectation of the surgery. (It's a tool, not a magic bullet). Also, a
history of sexual abuse is considered a warning sign of potential
instability and a potential inability to deal with the post-op life. If
you reveal sexual abuse in your background (and unfortunately many many of
us have experienced abuse), make sure you are able to convince the
psychologist that you have worked through the abuse with therapy, etc.
Better yet, don't bring up any abuse in your background. If you need help,
don't try to get it in the psych consult. Hire your own therapist, where
everything you say is confidential.
— [Anonymous]
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