Question:
HELP!!!I have no sex drive.

I had my surgery about four weeks ago. Since this time I have lost about 35 lbs. the problem is that I have no sex drive or want to be touched by hubby. WHY??? I love him so very much but don't know what is wrong with me. Am I scared of rejection still? I know before the surgery I did not want to have contact because I felt "gross" could this be a worse feeling? Thank you to anyone with answers.    — [Anonymous] (posted on May 22, 2001)

May 22, 2001
Hi theres alot of different reasons this could be happening,,, what meds if any are you taking???? post op depression is another possible, also as we loose the weight our hormones become nuts TALK to your dr. this doesnt have to be!! Good luck
   — BBD

May 22, 2001
I would talk w/ your Dr as it could be either emotionally or physically related. Are you taking antidepressants? If so that is a very common side affect. Have your hormones check as with rapid weightloss hormones often get out of whack and could be causing some problems as well. Chances are you'll be able to get some help in that arena.
   — Dawn R.

May 22, 2001
It could be those hormones being released as you lose weight (fat holds onto a bunch of stuff). When I first went on Prozac my sex drive died, then as I got used to the medication it came back! Then I gained a bunch of weight (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and I lost the drive again, then I had WLS and it is back... so it is a up and down as the hormones go for me..... Still, I have the sex drive, but mentally I still visualize myself as big and unattractive- so I am all messed up! :) (ie I want sex, but who wants sex with me? and why? my poor husband!!!) I am sure it will take me while to get everything sorted out.
   — Karen R.

May 22, 2001
Just remember you're only 4 weeks post-op & your energy level won't be up to par for quite a while and sex does take a lot of energy. You may also be thinking (subconsciously) that it will hurt your incision too. After you lose all your weight you'll probably wear your husband out! Everything takes time, but remember you're not alone. Wishing you the very best!
   — [Anonymous]

May 13, 2005
Your not alone. I have not wanted sex or to be touched by my hubby for 3 years now. I dont know what is wrong with me. I am not on any drugs or anything. I had wls 3 months ago and still dont want it and dont want to be touched. I dont even get the disire to have sex and I mean never. I dont know why. He gets mad a lot and I will let him have sex maybe once a month and that is only so he is happy. If I had my way I would never give it to him. I wish I did not feel this way and I dont know how to fix it.
   — mysticgirl32