Question:
Not a Question, I just need you guys and gals

Hi Yall, Up until this moment, I have been feeling really good about having this surgey. I felt that God lead me to find this group and begin my research on WLS. But I made the dumb mistake of reading the memorials on the website. I think it is a wonderful thing that we remember those who died in their quest to become more healthy and win the battle of obesity....but it has made me scared. I know the risk of dying is like 0.02%, and I am fairly young and don't have any of the serious co-morbs, but now I am scared. I know it will pass, but I need you to tell me that I will be fine and I will love the new life I am about to embark on. You all have been so supportive of me and everyone else, that I need you to rally around me again.... like they always say, if you don't ask for what you need, you won't get it. so I'm asking... thanks for all your love and support Warmest Regards Valerie Give light and people will find the way =/\=    — Valerie B. (posted on May 17, 2000)

May 17, 2000
Valerie, My surgery was 3/6 of this year. I'm older than you and in excellent health, other than being morbidly obese. I was also very scared after learning of recent deaths. I think it was a very valid part of the 'process' I went through in choosing this surgery to confront the possibility that I may die. I went into surgery fully committed and prepared - I was no longer going to live my life as a fat, uncomfortable, unhappy person - I saw no future for myself - my health would only continually decline. I was extremely privileged to be contacted by family members of several people that passed away during/after wls, and they had very valid suggestions. The primary one being get your questions answered and your concerns addressed - don't let your desire to have this surgery overshadow your good sense to look out for your own interests. There are hundreds of surgeons, programs and hospitals - make sure you find the one you have utmost confidence and trust in - go where you feel safe; ask questions - no matter how much of a pain you or they think you are; and trust God, it really is in his hands all the time, anyway, isn't it? Please email me if I can help in any way.
   — Toni B.

May 17, 2000
Hi Valerie, I just know six months after surgery you are going to kick yourself for not having done it sooner!! It is so incredible what it will do for you. I am doing that now, I have lost 100lbs in 5 and half months and my life is so great. I truly know He will be with you all the way. Just BELIEVE, like you already are doing. Blessings and peace to you. Julie
   — Julie M.

May 18, 2000
Valerie, your response is normal and very human. WLS is a BIG step. No one can deny that there are risks to ANY medical invasive procedure. It is always sad that we lose our dear friends and family members. When you read the memorials, there is no way for you to know what serious health issues they had prior to the surgery that may have contributed to their deaths. But you have to ask yourself, what price down the road will you pay for NOT having this surgery? I'm not saying you'll die tomorrow, but all of us know that eventually our health problems related to obesity will catch up with us in very nasty ways (if they haven't already). The risks associated with obesity are far worse than actually doing WLS. I am 36 and just 8 days post-op. I have no regrets and would do it over in a heartbeat. At 36 I am feeling twice my age and that I am missing out on so much in life because of my weight, with health problems mounting. Don't get me wrong - I am a very involved person and like myself, but with the weight gone and the health problems substantially curbed, I can only imagine how much BETTER I will feel. I promise that you too will be better off. The first week is hard, but don't let that fool you - it will pass. Now is the time to rely on your support network. Your WLS friends are a start. Stay busy - keep yourself occupied by preparing for the surgery. If you have a religious faith, depend on it. Pray for serenity and calm. I am on several prayer chains, and I find it incredibly uplifting and supportive. Hang in there Valerie, and don't let anything deter you from your goal - to be healthier and happier. God bless you, and if you need any moral support, please feel free to e-mail me anytime. We are here for you! [email protected]
   — Paula G.

May 18, 2000
Valerie ... if you weren't scared, I'd be worried. As has been said here, WLS is a big step. Yes, there is a possibility that WLS surgery is fatal (and there are people in the world who'd just love to tell you about the friend of a friend of a friend who died or had hideous complications or whatever), but being morbidly obese is FOR SURE fatal. When I had my open VBG on April 17, I was scared ... but of the unknown, of the IV needles, of the NG tube, not of dying. As others have said, trust in God, He will provide. You are not alone ... thoughts and prayers with you always.
   — Cheryl Denomy

May 18, 2000
I know what you're going through. The day before my surgery, I got on here to tell everyone that I would be back in a few days and the first thing I saw on the message board was that Mac had died. I just sat here and stared at the screen for a long time before I could post anything. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I grieved for his family and I was terrified. I didn't tell any of my family until we were on our way to get a motel room for the night. I then told my husband but not my children. He helped reassure me. And I thought about all the people praying for me. It was a true test of my faith. God brought me through with no complications and I'm sure he will you too. Medically, the odds are in our favor. Spiritually, with God on our side, how can we possible lose. Good luck to you. You'll be fine.
   — Tina H.

May 18, 2000
Valerie, As the posts before me mention, trust in God! When I was going through the same fear you are, my very wise hubby said,"If God wants you home, He will take you- whether in a car accident, or on the table. His timing is perfect, whether we like it or not." I whole- heartedly agreed- when it is our time to go, we go, no matter what we are doing at the time- walking the dog, having surgery, whatever. Since we aren't in control, try not to worry! Good Luck- you will be fine! Been there, done that 4 months and 55 lbs ago!
   — M B.

May 19, 2000
THANKS TO ALL: You are all so full of love and support. I needed everything that each one of you said. Thanks so much for being there for me. What a gift you all are Valerie
   — Valerie B.