Question:
Do any of you think or feel like your spouse inadvertantly

contributes to or deliberately tries to sabotage your WLS? I had a co-worker ask me this question and...to be perfectly honest, I was speechless because I didn't want to have it said later..."Hadiyah said..." My surgery was, to this day 2 yrs, 8 months and 21 days ago. My husband has been my BEST 'cheerleader', but sometimes I wonder...and that's all I do is wonder. I couldn't imagine him, as my friend said 'inadvertantly' sabotaging WLS. I feel that if our WLS is sabotaged (so-to-speak), it is because our own fault or it could possibly be out of ignorance, (not the bad kind:not knowing), or just testing to see what happens. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think someone else is responsible for WLS Sabotage or will you accept your own maladaptive behavior? Oh, BTW, my co-worker had the surgery 14 months ago, and just abbout weighs a little more than I do now and started out at 310 lbs.; at 4ft 8in tall. I'm at 181 now. Go figure. I admitted my own "issues". Some of which were MY own doing. I dare not blame anyone else directly. I will say certain events in my life *contributed* or had an impact on me, but I would never say my husband would deliberately sabotage my efforts. He supported me when I had just about gave up~and he still does. Curios, thanks for responding! Proximal LAP RNY 9/3/02 5'2" 265/181/115-126, Hadiyah, a.k.a.    — yourdivaness (posted on May 25, 2005)

May 25, 2005
I'm sure there are people that try to sabotage others in any weight loss endeavor. I know I had a friend that was real good at that. She just didn't want anyone to succeed at weight loss. However, other than her, I've had a very supportive environment and ANY failure that I may have along the road was all due to me. Having said that it is possible for others to sabotage, I'm sure there are an equal number of people that will forever be the victim and anything bad in their lives has nothing to do with them.
   — RebeccaP

May 26, 2005
I had a boyfriend (Ex now)who never wanted me to have surgery in the first place. He was always making comments such as I will need to have 10, 000 worth of surgery to make myself look better and any man who would see me without clothes would run for the hills. I met another man and we are now married. He is exrememly supportive and always tells me how beautiful and sexy I am. I know that loosing the weight has made me a more confident person and I finally realized thatI was not going to settle for less and with someone who was going to sabotage my efforts. I am now happier than I have ever been and again married to a wonderful man!!
   — Marti M.