Question:
how do i cook for my family?
how do i cook for my family knowing that will not beable to eat it? i have 3 children ages 9 to 1 and my husband. what about holidays? i have not had surgery yet. i have spent the last few months researching first. i feel that i need to have the surgery for my health i am only 110 pounds over weight and that may not be alot but i cant loose it, it all comes back. i am just scarred what will happen after the surgery if i have this done. i have heard and read both good and bad. i am the type of person that i eat what and when i can, when i am sad ahppy or board. any way i would just like advice on how to cook for my family.? — Rebecca73 (posted on September 30, 2004)
September 29, 2004
Rebecca, What makes you think you won't be able to cook or eat with your
family after surgery? WLS'ers still have to eat, in fact we must pay
attention to our health and nutrition and make sure we are eating healthier
foods - something it should be very important to share with your children
and probably your husband. Alot of people don't realize that the highest
rising health issues for children in America is diabetes and overweight and
it's rising at an alarming rate. Check out the statistics - it is really
frightening. If you are eating and cooking more healthily - then you will
be feeding your family in a way that's probably/definitely better for them.
I think it is a misconception on the part of pre-ops that post-ops don't
eat - we do - we have to just like anybody else - we are just more careful
what we put in our mouths. Anyway, there is a great place here on OH that
has wonderful recipes and people are adding to them all the time.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/member-interests/cooking_baking/
These recipes would be great for you and your family both before and after
surgery. They are good healthy recipes with great variety you should be
able to find recipes that stimulate you to try some of them.
Keep up your research. Good Luck on your journey. CJ
— C.j H.
September 29, 2004
I would still cook same way and when you can for somethig that calls for
sugar sub splenda for it and i bet they will never know as for your eating
try using a small plate een now that is what i do eat off a small plate so
it looks full with the food on it and 1 small plate full fills me up some
frieds of mine wanted to cut down on their eating and that is what they did
and said u will not believ howfast you do et full on that so thats were i
got the idea from and I still just do it even after WLS cause some times so
easy to over eat that 1 or 2 bites to many at times and that is no fun at
all best of luckto you
Take Care Huggs
Beth
— wildbrat
September 29, 2004
Early on the one egg sized portion is tough, but thats just temporary.
Besides most early on arent hungry:) I once went 3 days and didnt eat a
thing. Although I dont recommend it. My wife was in the hospital and I
didnt care After about food although did get my water in. By a few months
out you will be eating what they dom and all of you will be eating
healthier. WLS was the BESTY DECISION I EVER MADE!
— bob-haller
September 29, 2004
Hi Rebecca,
Well, this is a question I can actually answer! I am new to the group
because I am in the insurance approval process and waiting for the last
week or so. I too am about 110 lbs over. I have 3 of my 5 children still
at home (ages 3-10)and my husband. My husband had WLS (RNY) nearly 5 years
ago. I had to just learn his portion size to cook for him and we eat a lot
healthier. I gave him smaller plates, we took a little longer to eat
because he had to chew smaller pieces, and I did not use much sugar. Our
support groups were few and far between (it wasn't as organized then, as it
is now) so a lot of what we learned, we learned on our own. Things like
soda, he still drank soda and now I am told it could stretch your stomach.
Alot of people think that WLS is a quick fix, but in order for it to truly
be a real success, IMHO, I believe it is a complete lifestyle change for
the whole family. For the better, I must add. My husband has lost a total
of 180 lbs, he looks really good and feels really good. Alll his
comorbites are gone (diabetes, high bp, sleep apnea, joint pain, etc.) I am
so proud of him. If both you and your husband work as a team on the
lifestyle change, it will be beneficial in the long run for the whole
family. Speaking from someone who is on both sides of that WLS fence. Oh,
I forgot, Holidays, I make everything sugar free & fat-free and my
family including extendned family (we always have like 30 people) and noone
ever knows. It's our little secret. :)
Let me know if you have more questions, I can even get you recipes for
holidays. Terri
— Terri DesVignes-Henderson
September 29, 2004
I do not believe in punishing my family just because I can't eat. I cook
just like I always did and eat what i can. It is so unfair to not cook
certain things just because you can't eat it. I do think that we all can
and should eat healthier but to force it on them is wrong. Perhaps you
could introduce the better food one dish and one meal at a time.
— Delores S.
September 29, 2004
I have a culinary degree, so I think food is important! LOL! Well, that
and I eat it every day, and I prefer to really like what I eat, versus the
alternative. I also am chief cook and bottle washer for 9 souls in this
household - ages 7 to 91, so this question really hits to the heart of my
life!
I'm almost 27 months post-op from open BPD/DS. Honestly, I have WAY more
fun with food now than I ever did as a pre-op. I cook with the best
ingredients - never any artificial sweeteners, nothing low fat, and don't
avoid carbs at all. I do insist on a balanced diet. (Ooh, there's that
"D" word again, but honestly, it's just what you choose to put in
your mouth. You know?)
I'm an advocate of a whole foods approach to life - I don't like to give my
kids chemicals, I prefer not to use a lot of packaged foods - and well, I
love to cook and bake, so I do pretty much everything from scratch.
The cool thing about the DS is that we don't have dumping syndrome (pyloric
valve is intact), so I don't have to worry about sugars or fats, and the
malabsorptive component of the surgery means I don't have to stress about a
whole heck of a lot of stuff!
So - to answer your question - it really just depends on which surgery you
have, and what your conviction is about which surgery is the right one for
you. For me, I would not be a happy camper if I didn't have this freedom -
actually, incredible liberty - with food that I do.
Blessings,
dina
— Dina McBride
September 30, 2004
Hi Rebecca... What my family eats, I eat, and what I eat, my family eats.
Although the first few months you will be very limited, eventually you'll
eat "normal" healthy food. I tend to believe in limiting
processed foods, and so generally cook from scratch for my family. For
dinner, I eat what they eat... lean protein and veggies... I just skip the
starchy veggie, or the grain (if it's refined). I think my whole family
has gotten healthier because of my surgery. Thankfully, I dump on sugar,
so I tend to not use much white sugar which isn't good for anyone anyway.
I take a whole foods approach and chose more natural sweeteners, which
keeps me from dumping, and keeps my family healthy. Don't worry about what
you'll eat... as long as you're making good food for your family, you won't
have a problem.
— mom2jtx3
September 30, 2004
I also feed my family only what I eat. It is not a punishment for them to
eat healthy, It is a gift I give them every day to feed them what everybody
ought to be eating. We do not have to eat so very differently than the rest
of the world, and there is nothing in our food plan that would be bad for a
healthy life. My kids/grandkids do not need to eat junk food. My 3 year
old grandaughter feasts on snow peas and baby carrots. For holidays, I
cook all the usual traditional foods, except I make a pumkin pie with
splenda rather than sugar, and it is great if you make it the day before,
you can't tell the difference. I am hoping by giving my family the
healthy good foods in moderate quantities that they will never face morbid
obesity as I did.
— **willow**
September 30, 2004
When my husband was diagnosed with diabetes it struck such a heart string
in me that I realized since I did most of the food purchase/preparation, it
was up to me to make sure the things I cooked were nourishing, healthy and
good for him. I want to keep him around for a long, long time. He's quite
capable of cooking for himself, but he doesn't always make the best food
choices. Because I love and cherish him, I try to make sure the choices of
food in the house are good, nourishing and what I can safely eat as well.
So far we've done well. Cooking and serving healthy food is never a
punishment. It's an act of love!
— Cathy S.
September 30, 2004
I feed them normal food, made how we can eat it. The only alteration I made
was using a milk sub and a sugar sub. For the holidays, I cook what I
always did. Never liked yams (yuck) and my dh never liked them with brown
sugar, so that's easy. I make the pie with sugar sub, mashed potatoes with
milk sub. They don't know. The only holiday that is hard for me is the 4th
of July. That's my fave foods. I want a burger, a dog, chicken, ribs, all
the salads, corn, fruit, devilled eggs, beans, melons. And I want it all
NOW. lol I allow myself to graze for the 3 major holidays and the rest of
the time I'm back to my "formula". I don't like the D-word,
either. Makes me think of regain <shudder>. I am also a volume
eater, so at least grazing is not my habit. You also asked about how do we
know when the meal is over. For the first few years, I really did measure
my portions, because I couldn't trust my body to tell me the truth. My
stop-o-meter goes off too late. So, I measured. How do I keep going at 10
yrs out? It keeps working, so I can do this one more day. Do I mess up
and sneak off with an illegal piece of fudge during the holidays? Yes, I
have. But I made a rule to go with that. I can only have fudge at my one
friend's house. That's all. She has 1 party every year. That's it. I make
my silly little rules and they are part of my "formula", and the
formula works, so I keep doing it. Does that make any sense?
— vitalady
September 30, 2004
You should check out Susan Maria Leach's book @ www.bariatriceating.com
She has some really good recipes, and she even has menus/recipes for
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
— Curious Mickey D.
September 30, 2004
Couple of months is not a long time to research. It took me over a year
before I made up my mind. I would strongly recommend that you attend a
support group and talk with people who have had the surgery. Because you
have a family they also need to know what to expect with this type of
surgery and your husband or partner needs to go to the support group so
they understand and are supportive. This is very important. Yes, you have
the surgery for youself and your health but you do need to get the family
involved because they need to understand how your new stomach will work.
Also, there is the emotional side that you will need to get under control
which is the hardest part of this whole process and its ongoing. I'm 18
months post -op and still struggle with emotional eating issues. This
surgery is JUST A DIET TOOL, please keep that in mind. It isn't a quick
fix. If you abuse the tool it will break (or stretch back). Yes, the
stomach can and will stretch larger so you can gain back the weight. This
is why joining support groups, developing good eating and exercise habits
after surgery is the success behind this surgery. If you want to e-mail me
I would love to share my story. I wish you the best of luck.
— Linda R.
October 1, 2004
Hello, I am 8 weeks out and was struggling with the same concerns. I have
just started to cook high protein, low carb meals. I also have small
children ages 6,4,2 (boys)I eat what my family eats; however, my portions
are way smaller. I have lost 50 pounds. I have 75 more pounds to my goal
but I am convienced if I continue eating what I am eating and walking and
drinking my WATER (hard to do)I will reach my goal and continue through
life with "smaller portions" as my main strategy. Good Luck to
you!
— Kellie W.
October 1, 2004
Being healthy is what its all about. Since my surgery, my husband has lost
40lbs and looks better and feels better. We agreed along time ago to rid
the house of pop, alcohol, sugar, junk food (except potatoe chips and
popcorn once in a while) You will be doing your kids a big favor too.
Obesity is genetic, I had a terrible time growing up as a fat child. My
sister was thin until she graduated and then the weight came on. Think
sugar free ---anything I can make with sugar, I can make sugar free. I had
the same fears about what I would be able to eat, I found after the first
six weeks I could eat most things in moderation. I cut out fried foods,
limited carbs, added more veggies and fresh fruit. I still have a terrible
eating disorder I am dealing with too, grazing is a problem. I am doing
well and I've lost over 140 lbs. there is hope ..just hang in there. It
will be the best thing you ever do for yourself and your family. Be
healthy and happy and best wishes!
— debmi
October 1, 2004
For the first few weeks after the surgury my husband stepped up to the
plate and took care of feeding himself and the kids. The first few weeks
are tought bc what you can eat is severely limited while your pouch heals
and seals. Aftar that you will find you make ammendments to some of the
thins you used to make so you can eat a litle of them. This is actually the
primary reason why when a person has WLS the family starts eating healthier
too. I am 10 weeks post op and 54 pounds lighter so if you ask me now if
the fist few weeks were hell, yep.... it was hard, but I was not that
hungry which helped. Was it worth it? YES!!! I know it is scary to think
about how nthign will ever be the same again, but I am pretty lucky, I do
well with pasta (which I adore and would ot eat before WLS bc of the carbs)
and rice although I limit how much i eat of them, although I still cannot
eat more than about a 3/4 cup of food at a time. Have you hubby step up the
first few weeks, and after that, you should be fine, and they will eat so
much healthier. I have not had ANY problems and I do no regret this surgury
at all! Feel free to rad my profile, I put some in about the first few
weeks and how they are. Once you get past the first 4 - 6 weeks it is
really not hard at all!
Good Luck!
Kristy B
Surgury Date 7/19/2004
306/252/165
— kberkihiser
October 1, 2004
REbecca- I don't know what will work best for you & your family, but I
take one afternoon (usually a Sunday) and cook a bunch of meals for my
family to heat up during the week. I went & bought a bunch of gladware
containers & make my own variety of "TV dinners". That way,
there is a variety of food to eat from & I only have to be around it
for the few hours when I am cooking it. This is just what's worked for me
~ good luck with your upcoming surgery.
— klinzey
October 1, 2004
I do not consider my family eating in a healthy way "punishment."
We eat healthy food at home now. If I can't eat it, it doesn't come inside.
I make mac and cheese with lo-carb noodles (Dreamfields) and low-fat
cheese. He loves it! If my husband wants to eat junk, he can take me out to
eat, and we'll do it his way for the night... he gets garbage, and I order
a healthful meal that won't me me fatter, or sick. Even at home, my dogs
only get carrots as snacks :) Hubby was worried that my lifestyle change
would make him suffer, but he enjoys eating food that makes him feel good
about himself and like he is satisfied - not craving more sugar, fat and
carbs.<br><br>
Take this with a grain of salt, since I don't have kids... but I wish like
crazy that MY parents would've had the sense to feed me the way I eat now
(quality, not necessarily the amounts!), 30 years ago. Probably wouldn't be
in this boat. This is only directed to my sad, obese childhoood... not
anyone elses'. I think my folks would've seen a much more happy, social
child who wanted to participate in life more, rather than sit inside hiding
all of the time. <br><br>
With sincerity, I ask if it is that hard to get kids to eat healthy? It
must be tough, with the tv commercials, etc. directed at them.
— kultgirl
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