Question:
My husband wants to know what my first month post op will be like.

I already have a good idea but he thinks I will baby myself too much. LOL What I really want to do is to make good progress with my recovery so I can get on with my life. Hubby told me to post this here because he would like to know from the postops what to expect as far as what will I be capable of doing and how much activity would be about average. He is mostly concerned about what chores I will be able to do.(MEN!) A little background on me- BMI 52, 45 yrs old; surgery open RNY August 7/03; out of town surgery and hospital stay will be 5-8 days; CLEAR FLUIDS for 6 weeks-full fluids for 2, puree for 2, soft for 2, solids after that as tolerated; history of incision infection with C-section - home nursing for 6 weeks for wound care; house has 14 stairs, no toilet on the main floor; laundry in the basement-12 more stairs; 1 child-6 yrs old-will be in school all day starting Sept3-will need to be brought to school and picked up; hubby works steady days 8-5; hubby is fully capable of taking care of EVERYTHING-he can cook, clean and entertain our son. Hubby will be home on vacation from my surgery date until Sept 1. Should he take care of everything and I will take care of me?? Please help with advice, your spouses opinions are welcome :) mary ann taylor    — mary ann T. (posted on July 2, 2003)

July 2, 2003
Tell your husband he should be concerned that you have a successful surgery and not whether or when you will be able to do housework. Since your husband is home for almost a month after your surgery, he will have plenty of time to do the housework, help care for you and take care of your child. That is all part of this partnership called marriage. If you have no complications, you will be able to do light chores in a week or so (I noticed a 5-8 day out of town stay for your surgery), but no lifting with an open surgery for several weeks. I was also told not to drive for 3 weeks after surgery, though I certainly felt well enough after a few weeks to do so.
   — Cindy R.

July 2, 2003
Mary Ann, You will be tired! You will be some what sore. When you do feel well and try to do something you will get tired quickly. No lifting unless you want a hernia and more surgery. Check with your surgeon, you can do stairs but can't over do them per my Surgeon. As for chores etc. Hubby will have to handle things until you feel better, which is an individual thing. I would say count on two - six weeks of needing help. I am 5 weeks out and tried bringing out the garbage yesterday, my tummy got sore. Take care, MaryLyn 5/21/03 -41
   — Kriola

July 2, 2003
My husband did nothing but the vacuming (sp) and pulling wet clothes out of the washer for me only for awhile. After a few days he took me to the store where I went in and got the groceries and he loaded them and carried them in at home. Fortunately, we are a retired couple. Not much dirt but sometimes a lot of clutter. Not many dishes. He got carry out a lot (for about a week) so i didn't have many dishes either. We don't have many visitors so i didn't really care about keeping my house spotless. However, I did and still do get tired very easy. Had to stop and rest every few minutes but i think I did nearly everything after the first week home except heavy stuff. I remember standing at the stove after the first week and trying to cook because i wanted him to have something good to eat and the sight and smell made me sick. BTW, I had open rny but i knew my husband wasn't going to pet me much. I forgot to mention, kids are grown and gone also. That helps. I feel for some of you younger women with families to take care of.
   — Delores S.

July 2, 2003
Everyone is different so you won't really know until you are postop, but this is how it has been for me so far: Had open RNY on 6/27/03 (age 42, BMI 43) came home 6/29/03. Did frequent walking in the hospital and have continued it since coming home. The more I walk the better I feel. The first day home and the day after that I did not do anything except walking, personal care, and napping. Read,crocheted and watched TV to combat boredom. Since yesterday, postop day 4, I have done light household chores. Hubby still doing the majority with the help of the kids, ages 8, 10, and 11. I can do some dishes (load the top of dishwasher but not bottom as I can't bend over). I am supervising laundry--kids do it, but I help them as they are confused about water temp, settings, etc. They carry laundry basket to washer, put in the laundry detergent, and hand me the items as I put them in as I am teaching them how to sort and how to gauge how much can go in one load. They take clothes out of dryer to basket and take basket to couch where stuff is dumped and we fold. They also get wet clothes from washer to dryer as once again bending over is out. The laundry moves much slower this way, but at least it is getting done. Hubby can do laundry but I really want the kids to learn how to do it as it is time they learned anyway. My husband has been cooking for the kids, I have just been making my meals, easy as I am on pureed foods, and just blend up stuff. Hubby is going to be off for a total of 2 weeks, started the day of my surgery. He is handling all errands and taking the kids everywhere as I cannot drive yet. I feel confident that I should be able to handle things by the time he goes back to work. My advice to you is to rest and take care of yourself! Don't do too much too soon, go with what feels right for you. I am trying not to do too much as I know that if I start doing things, hubby will probably stop being so helpful! LOL! It is hard for me though as I am already bored and feel ready to do things (within limits). I do take frequent breaks. Also, I live in a two-story house, and they told me to limit steps so I plan my trips up and down, but I do go up and down them several times a day with no problem. Hope this helps. Good luck!
   — DebT

July 2, 2003
Wow, six weeks (I hope I read that wrong) of clear liquids?! If that is true I'd venture to guess that you will be very tired and fatigued because you will have a hard time getting protein in your body, which in my case, really helped with my energy level and healing after I started on full liquids and could get some protein (in the form of protein drinks). I would tell hubby that his job until Sept.1 is to be "mr. mom". You take care of yourself and let him take care of everything else until you feel up to the task. Could be 3 days, could be 3 weeks. Good luck!
   — Kristen S.

July 3, 2003
After any major surgery MOST surgeons recommend no lifting for at least 6 wks. Believe it or not, laundry and vaccuming(sp) are 2 of the most strenuous chores. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and know that real life doesn't always allow for rest. Do what you can and ask your surgeon if you're unsure. Hopefully he/she has years of experience that have helped him form his guidelines. And hey...tell the husband it isn't a crime to do those things even when you're not down & out :) It has nothing to do with my WLS since I'm now divorced but at the time...I was lucky that my husband was more than willing to always do whatever needed to be done. With 5 kids and both of us working shiftwork it didn't get done if we both didn't pitch in....pretty equally I might add. Good luck!
   — Diane S.

July 3, 2003
My open surgery was June 3rd. I was only in the hospital for two days following surgery. The first couple of days home I needed help with things like taking a shower (fear of falling). Remember the first few days home you will probably be taking some strong pain medications. You will also be needing lots of rest to heal. Even now at 3-1/2 weeks post-op I still need to take a one hour nap each afternoon or else I get to feeling real crummy. Good luck I am sure it will all work out.
   — tonyapf