Question:
3 months post-op and then some...why do i feel soooo F A T?

Hey guys. Just wanted to ask you long-timers if you face this..or if you have faced it? I've lost 60 lbs, give or take a couple, and I swear to you, I feel like I look GIANT. Maybe it's just that I recently saw some photos from Christmas or something....but I still feel absolutely HUGE! I KNOW--in my mind--that it can't be that way and I am smaller (I HAVE TO BE...). Tell me this is just part of the process...................and I just need to be patient.........right? RIGHT? (What would I do without you guys???????????????????????!?!) Any words from the voices of experience would be greatly appreciated......... thanks.    — Karen K. (posted on January 9, 2003)

January 9, 2003
Hi Karen, Congratulations on your great weight loss! I can relate to what you're saying...when I was down 60 lbs. in the first 3 months I didn't feel I could see any difference but everyone else said they could tell. I really began to notice with the next 20-30 pounds and also because I began walking and lifting some weights at the Y. That made a major difference! Yes, this IS part of the process. You are doing wonderful! :) - Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -104lbs. p.s. Some days I still feel fat but that's my own warped mind playing tricks on me!
   — Anna L.

January 9, 2003
You had surgery on your body and not your mind. Its going to take quite a while before your mind will catch up and register that yes, you are smaller. Photos help alot. Take a full length every month, then put them next to each other and you will see the monthly progress. Also, clothing sizes help. As they go down and you get into normal ranges, its hard to continue to say that you are huge when you are wearing a size 12, for example. And, accept compliments from others, like friends, relatives, co-workers. When they say you don't look like you need to lose any more weight, they are telling you that your figure looks good to their eye.
   — Cindy R.

January 9, 2003
It takes the mind a while to catch up with the body. When I went down to wearing a medium, I felt like the biggest liar whenever I said it and even when I put the clothes on and they fit! I would look at the clothes thinking, "Now you know that there is no way your fat butt is gonna fit in these clothes." But I did. After I had reached goal and stayed the same weight for a while I finally started to see it in the mirror. It can really play tricks on your mind to simultaneously see a 130 pound and 230 pound reflection. But my mind did finally get a grip. :) One thing you can do is to make sure you wear clothes that fit. Don't keep wearing your old things until they fall off you. I know it gets expensive but it is worth it to shop the sales racks or the second-hand shops for a while until things stabilize. Another thing is to not confuse SKIN with FAT. When things get to hanging (and you know they will) it can make you feel just as fat and disgusted with yourself as you always did. But you have to see that it is just extra skin--not fat--and eventually it will snap back to some degree. OR if it is past the point of snapping back maybe you will qualify for reconstructive surgery. <p>It's okay to be honest with yourself (OK, Cheri you are NOT a supermodel!) but it is NOT okay for you to be mean to yourself (Cheri look at all this flab. How disgusting.). You wouldn't say that to somebody else. Don't say it to yourself either! Good luck!
   — ctyst

January 9, 2003
Hi Karen. You are very normal. I am 9 months post op and down 101#. I could not see the loss until about 3 weeks ago then it suddenly hit me. I knew it; my clothes showed the loss and everyone else did but me. I go to a therapist since Oct. to look at issues that got me to that weight and to work together to deal with the new changing me. She told me there is a name for it: FAT BRAIN...it is a true syndrome that affects those of us losing a lot of weight quickly, anorexics, bulemics and others with weight issues. It takes about 9-mos. to a year for your brain to catch up with your body. So hang in there and enjoy each baby step. Make sure you go out clothes shopping occasionally as that helps jolt you to reality too. I went from a 30-32 to an 18-20 and am still losing. My best to you and congratulations on your loss.
   — AJC750

January 9, 2003
Karen, I'm post op 7 months and am still fighting that battle, I've lost about 110 pounds, give or take a few, and I still see myself in the mirror as being so fat. I go out and buy clothing and have to take it back, hence still seeing myself so big..... We're really hard on ourselves.... I'll pass allong what my husband keeps telling me, that it'll take time for the mind to catch up with the body, let's just be patient and hopefully everything will catch up.. By the way congrats on the great weight loss. Keep you head up and God Bless.
   — tannedtigress

January 9, 2003
Fourteen months out (surgery: 11/16/01) and a size 2/4...and whenever I take my clothes out of the dryer I almost automatically put them in my 17 yr old daughter's basket...because there is no way I am going to get my *fat rear* into those itty-bitty pants...but then, OMG...I do get my rear into those pants, and it isn't fat...where did I go??? It takes a while...it takes a lllooonnnngggg while for us to get used to the new us. I just had this conversation with my DH, after watching Al Roker host the Rose Parade on New Years Day...and his comments about eating and food...and how he still thought of himself as a hefty guy. You'll get there!!! Have a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
   — Mustang

January 9, 2003
I didn't notice any difference until about 80 lbs. I was still wearing all the same clothes, they had been stretched to capacity before, and really had only started to get baggy. 170 lbs off now, I still struggle with automatically reaching for the XXL tee shirt, or wondering who's jeans those are when I am folding clothes. I sometimes don't recognize myself in the mirror, and I have had friends lose me in crowds because they were looking for the 'old' me. It just takes a while for our habits to re-write themselves, and this includes the habits of feeling fat, feeling old, feeling tired, feeling that we can't or shouldn't participate in the world. You have to work on re-writing habits. One of the things I do is I try to run a little every day (not run like jogging, but run to the car, or run to the mailbox) it sound's wierd, but I didn't run for 25 years, and forgot I even knew how. First though, really look at how your clothes are fitting. If they are too big, go to Goodwill and get some 'while I am losing' clothes. They are cheap and you will be amazed at how you see yourself! Good Luck!
   — Cara F.

January 9, 2003
I am 5 months out, down 130 pounds and experiencing the same problem. I just feel so incredibly FAT!!! I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror when my clothes are off. Its funny because I was never so critical of myself before the surgery and you'd think Id be happy with my success in losing the weight equivalent of a person. Im trying everything I can do to speed up the weight loss because I just cant stand how critical I am of myself now. You're not alone!
   — c B.