Question:
I AM 5 MONTHS POST OP TODAY. I HAVE LOST 90 POUNDS.

I WAS WEARING SIZES 24/26 AND NOW AM WEARING SIZES 14/16 AND XL. THE PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I STILL SEE THE SAME PERSON. I DON'T SEE ANY DIFFERENCE. PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME ALOT AND I JUST THINK WHAT IN THE H*LL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT. HOW CAN YOUR MIND PLAY SUCH TRICKS ON YOU? I DON'T EXERCISE ALL THE TIME AND I FEEL FLABBY. COULD THAT BE PART OF IT? I'M TIRED ALOT. I DO FEEL BETTER THOUGH, I JUST DON'T LIKE THE WAY THAT I LOOK. THANKS! OH YEAH IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT STARTED OUT WHERE I DID? (273LBS AND 5'4)    — nikki R. (posted on December 30, 2002)

December 30, 2002
Hi There Nikki, I feel for you, I'm going threw the same thing, I'm 7 months post op nad down 105 pounds. I still see myself as being fat, When I go out and go shopping I'm still shopping for that bigger person... I still look in the mirror and see things that I need to change. We're all under construction, hang in there... Hopefully our minds catch up with our bodies.... Good luck and God Bless.
   — tannedtigress

December 30, 2002
Hi Nikki, I sure know how you feel. I look in the mirror and still see the 358 lb person I was before. Just before Xmas I hit my 100 lb mark and I really don't see it. I have gone down many sizes and I know I have gotten smaller but my head plays terrible tricks on me. Before I was a fat person with a skinny person waiting to come out, now I am a thinner person but that fat person still controls my life and I am sure it will for a long time to come. We did not become who we are over night and I think we just need to give our brains a chance to catch up to our bodies. I think people think I am fishing for compliments when I shrug them off but really I just don't see what they see. I am sure it will get better over time, at least I hope. Just remember you are not the only one out there......
   — Dawn L.

December 30, 2002
Hi Nikki, I sure know how you feel. I look in the mirror and still see the 358 lb person I was before. Just before Xmas I hit my 100 lb mark and I really don't see it. I have gone down many sizes and I know I have gotten smaller but my head plays terrible tricks on me. Before I was a fat person with a skinny person waiting to come out, now I am a thinner person but that fat person still controls my life and I am sure it will for a long time to come. We did not become who we are over night and I think we just need to give our brains a chance to catch up to our bodies. I think people think I am fishing for compliments when I shrug them off but really I just don't see what they see. I am sure it will get better over time, at least I hope. Just remember you are not the only one out there......
   — Dawn L.

December 30, 2002
Here's a thing I've used to help my awareness of change. Find a backpack, load it up with about 30 pounds (I have a lot of old magazines around). Put it on and walk around with it. It shouldn't take long to convince you what an impact the weight you've lost has made. If you could get 90 pounds in it you'd have trouble getting it off the ground! And I hope this doesn't seem harsh, but the surgery is changing your body, you need to change you.
   — Robert T.

December 30, 2002
That's funny that you should post this today. I just finished writing almost the same thing on my profile update! I am almost 6 months post op and down 90+ lbs. People said how different I look, how great, etc...But, when I look in the mirror I am completely disgusted with the way that I look. I know in my head that I am smaller as I am needing new clothes, the scale has moved,etc...but I still see that fat in the mirror!I don't know how or when the mind adjusts to the way our bodies have changed....Maybe there are some longer term posties that would be willing to share their experiences in this area? In any case, it does feel good to know that there are others who are about the same time post op that are going through the same thing right now. Best wishes in your process.
   — Heather N.

December 30, 2002
Hey - I understand exactly how you feel. For a long time I couldn't see the smaller me. The mirror never tells me the truth. For 20 years the mirror said I was smaller than I was - now the mirror says I'm larger than I am. Is that unfair or what?! The best way for me to see the progress is through photographs. The first time I looked at a photograph of myself taken about 4 months after surgery I was astounded. I was smaller and I could see it! Another thing is to wear clothing that fits and that makes you feel pretty. Your body image will improve with time but I think it's safe to say that you'll never feel like Barbie. If I catch a glimpse of myself stepping out of the shower I find myself thinking "Oh my gosh - I'm still HUGE!"..... and I'm at goal. Go figure. Take pictures - you'll be glad you did. Happy New Year!
   — ronascott

December 30, 2002
Nikki, 5 months is not a long enough period of time for the head to catch up to the body. Think about how long you spent overweight. Your mind was quite happy with that image. Now, the mind cannot grasp this awesome change yet, its too soon. Even though the mind is slow to grasp, start to believe what people are telling you. Also, start to believe the sizes that you wear. A 14/16 is NORMAL and as you lose more, try to wrap your mind around that. Eventually your head will catch up. Pictures also help.
   — Cindy R.

December 30, 2002
WOW! I was thinking about posting the same thing!! I am almost 5 months out (Open RNY 8/6/02 starting weight 283 and now 195). I totally understand Dawn Leigh, I just don't see it either and I know my clothes are getting smaller(from 26-28 to 16), my husband thinks I'm going nuts... I just don't see it. Thanks for posting, it's nice to know that I'm not alone!
   — Dana B.

December 30, 2002
I am 5'5... almost 6 mo postop open RNY. I started at 283 and at last weigh-in - I'd lost 65 lbs. Im gonna guess Im about 75 lost now - I wont know till next week. I was wearing 22/24 tops and size 28 jeans. Im now wearing 14/16 tops and size 18 jeans. (I wish I could find a 16 1/2 - lol). I work out with heavy weights 3 times a week so my WEIGHT loss is going slower... but Im building my muscles NOW - hopefully I wont need too much plastic surgery when all is said and done. About 4 years ago, I was a size 16/18 and then I started packing on the weight. Im back down to that size now... and when I look at myself, I dont see much change either - I guess my body image was stuck on 16/18 the whole time I was putting on the pounds.
   — Valerie H.

December 30, 2002
Hi! I know how you feel! I had Lap RNY 8/7/02 and have also lost 90 pounds. I can see some difference, but to me, I am still FAT FAT FAT. Today I was walking down the hall at work and this girl goes "OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU!!!!!" and I was like "What? What's wrong!" and she said "YER SKINNY!!" lol What really helps is to take a picture of yourself. You will really notice a diffence then!
   — fropunka

December 30, 2002
Hey Nikki! I know how you feel girl. I am 4 months post op and have lost 107 lbs. I KNOW I have lost all this weight because everyone is telling me they see a big difference and I feel it in my clothes. I have gone from a size 32 pants to a 24. But I still see the same ole me when looking in the mirror. I guess your brain has to catch up with your body. CONGRATS Nikki!!
   — Shavonne P.

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