Question:
How do you know when you have lost enough weight and it is time to stop?

I am 21 years old and weigh 156lbs. I am 5'5. I had surgery June 4th, 2002, lap RNY, with Dr. Hargroder in Louisianna. I feel great! I have large bones and can now wear a tight 8 or loose 10, I am not built petite so my goal wieight is 150lbs. My question is this...This morning as a walked into work my boss stopped me in the hall and said "I think it is time to stop losing weight you are starting to look too thin" Now, she is a very nice lady, but she has been gaining a few pounds over the past year or so and now I don't know whether she may be saying this b/c she is a little jealous or b/c she is being truthful and really trying to help me out.I had planned to lose another 6 lbs, and see where I was then, possibly having a new goal then of losing another 20lbs. Has anyone ever had this happen to them, where someone says this and you aren't sure if they are saying that b/c they are jealous or b/c they are being genuine? Can someone tell me what a good basis is on when to stop losing? I am still losing a steady 3-5lbs a week. Thanks for your help! I read the question and answers everyday and really do value your opinions. — Cassy H. (posted on November 6, 2002)

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November 5, 2002
i'm still a pre-op, but.... a picture is usally worth a thousand words. I have always pictured myself thinner than I was but a picture always showed me the real truth. Maybe you should get a full body picture of yourself and see what you "see"....just a suggestion.
— judylj60

November 6, 2002
At 5'5" and 156 you are still just slightly in the overweight category by BMI which is 26.1. To actually be considered underweight for your height you would have to weigh under 115 lbs! I think folks mean well they are just so use to seeing us at our heavier size that as we start to get smaller it seems like we are losing too much to them. I am still at 252 and have another 60 to lose and some folks tell me when are you going to stop...u dont want to get too thin. I agree with the other poster...it has a lot to do with appearance too. If you have a lot of hanging skin or look gaunt it may seem to people that you have lost too much. In the end it is about how healthy you feel and how comfortable you are with the way you look and to heck with what others say.
— SARose61

November 6, 2002
If you are wearing a size 10 or 8, you are quite normal now. What size do you want to be? Keep in mind that your bones weigh heavier than someone who has never been heavy before and our bones do not lose weight as we lose weight overall. My point is, that at 156 pounds, you probably look like someone who is 136. If you plan on just losing another 6 pounds, you have to do something now to slow the weight if you are losing 3-5 a week. Thats pretty fast and you should probably start eating more now. Alot more. I would also ask several others that you trust, not just the boss, what they think of your weight and how you look and if they think you should lose more. Often times, I find others are a better judge of what we look like. Since you just had the surgery a few months ago, your head has not had time to wrap itself around your new body image. Others can be better judges at this time. Congrats on the new you!
— Cindy R.

November 6, 2002
Way to go on the weight loss. I too had surgery with Dr. Hargroder on May 29th. We just missed each other at the hospital. I was going home and you were coming in. To your question, I think a picture is worth a 1000 words too. I am in a size 6 or 8 and I am not done yet. I am 5'3 and 157 now. Everyone says I am getting too skinny, but pictures say other wise. I need to drop the last 15 pounds or so. I also need to focus more on toning to my image. Good luck and Congratulations again. You are doing great!!
— Cindy M.

November 6, 2002
I think when to stop is something only you can answer. How do you feel? Are you comfortable with where you are? I was driving myself crazy with charts so I stopped looking at them. I'm 5'4", 149 and wearing a size 10. I wanted to stop at 150 because I have 10-15 pounds of skin that will go with reconstructive surgery. I scaled back my aerobic exercise to 3 days a week (from 5) and upped my calories by 100. Hopefully this will cause me to maintain. If you are still losing 3-5 every week though, your body might not be ready to stop. I haven't had a steady loss like that in months. You are doing super though!
— Tina P.

November 6, 2002
I am a little over 8 months post-op and currently weigh 124 pounds and I am 5' 3" tall,my hubby has told a number of time I don't need to lose anymore weight, I am comfortable where I am at and I am not really trying to lose more weight, but I did lose another pound yesterday, which brought me to 124 pounds,I figure my body will stop losing wehn it is ready!!! I am curious to see how much more I will be losing after my tt/breastlift/reduction on Dec. 2nd.though!!:)
— bikerchic

November 6, 2002
I'm 5'6" and still 175lbs wearing mostly 12's but now getting into 10's. I am also larger boned and not petite by any means. My goal was about 150-160 but I think I'm re evaluating that. I'm getting ready to have plastic surgery in a few month for the excess skin on the TT, breastlift and armlift. My Dh asked the Dr. if I should lose more weight and be at goal before surgery. He said I was already there and didn't need to lose anymore. After surgery I should be about a size 8. I'll be thrilled. I also had by best friend (size 8) tell me I was on the verge of looking gaunt in the face and that I should stop losing and not focus on the numbers anymore. I want to look healthy, not gaunt! Bottom line is: we are all different and we should go for how we feel than looking at the sizes and actual weight. I'll be happy with the extra skin off and then I will be done no matter what the scale says.
— Kris T.

November 6, 2002
I get this all the time. I'm down to 125 at 5'2. I'm not too thin or too fat. I think I'm just right. I'm a size 8 on top and a size 4 on the bottom. You have to realize that people are used to seeing you MUCH bigger so even if you still had 40 pounds to lose, there going to think your MUCH smaller now since you've already lost so much weight. I don't pay attention to the people around me. I listen to the way my body feels and what I feel comfortable at. Your doctor will also be a great help in determining your goal weight.
— Patty H.

November 6, 2002
Time. At 110# lbs and 1 yr post-op, I looked older, gaunt, saggy skin. At 110#, 2 yrs post-op, I looked like I belonged at that weight. Part of it is just that when you drop a couple hundred lbs in a few months, you DO look gaunt. I mean, OF COURSE we do! We usually don't see it on ourselves, but everyone else does. The only I answer I can say to give is something like, "Thank you for your concern. My doctor & I are working on it together." They don't know if you mean up or down, but they can't argue with it. I've never seen anyone STAY too thin who was healthy. There's bounceback at the end, so just hang in there, smile & ride it thru.
— vitalady

November 6, 2002
How much more inappropriate and unprofessional can your boss be? Quite frankly it's none of her business. My response would have been, "Thank you for your concern. I'm under full time medical care and this is a decision between myself and my doctor. MY weight has nothing to do with the way I perform my job and it's not anything I wish to discuss in the work place. Thank you." Why is it when a fat person loses or gains weight people think, feel, assume they have the right to butt in and make comments? When someone does that to me usually I find some problem they have (or I make one up) like "My God, isn't it painful for you to sit down when you have such a large boil on your behind? Perhaps you should get someone in your family to stick a needle in it and drain it." You'd be shocked at how fast most people get the message.
— Laurie C.

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