Question:
How have you fought obesity insults
We often talk about how we were treated pre-op. Except for my brothers calling me balloon belly when I was little, I never really notice anyone giving me bad looks, ignoring me, insulting me. Then recently I suddenly remembered something that did get me. My local bland radio hosts started telling fat jokes. The just kept getting more and more insulting. So I e-mailed them telling them how insulting it was. I received an e-mail back saying that people are always finding insult not matter what they are speaking about. And that they can't please everyone. I was so upset because not only were they telling these insulting jokes, but they didn't even care how hurtful it was to me. They just thought I was overreacting. I felt so betrayed. I stopped listening to their station. awhile later, since this was the only station that had acceptable music for my office, I tried again. Guess what. They stopped the fat jokes. I don't know if they finally understood, or just got too much pressure (maybe from an obese executive). I was wondering if any of my sibs have examples where they successfully fought back. -- Fay Bayuk — faybay (posted on October 27, 2002)
October 27, 2002
Hi Fay, When I first got out of nursing school 13 years ago, I weighed in
at 288lbs. I went for an interview with a private physician. He let me go
through all the nicities, then asked me if I had ever considered losing
weight? He may as well slapped me for the effect it had on me. I
answered, "Have you ever considered the fact that your penis may not
be big enough for your wife?" Ya know, I didn't get that job. He
lost out. LOL. I don't let ignorant people bother me, I don't think I ever
did. I just thought if that's all those folks had to do, then they were
living pitiful lives.
— Leigh G.
October 27, 2002
Growing up MO as a child was TOUGH. They called me Jackie Gleason. I
started saying and away we go.... Better to say I am really fat and laugh
at myself than have it devaste me. But it was the pits.
— bob-haller
October 27, 2002
Ok here is a odd situation my ex-husband one day called me a fat a** in
front of my 3 year old at this time we were still together well a year
later he married a woman the same size I was at the time of the comment
well my son then 4 looked at his new step-mothere and asked her if daddy
called her a fat a** to? His dad was so embarassed he didn't know what to
do. Shows him what his sons remembers..
— Alicia K.
October 27, 2002
I was in a grocery store one day, and I went to squeeze between two carts,
one of them being pushed by an older woman. She glared at me and said,
"If you weren't so fat, you'd fit through there." I turned
around, glared at her, and said, "Madam, I may be fat, but you are old
and ugly. And I can go on a diet."
But you know, hurting other people back doesn't really give much
satisfaction. I don't think thin people can ever really understand what
it's like to be fat in a world that hates us. All we can do is try to
inform and educate. Since that episode in the grocery store, I decided that
the best way for me to handle stuff like that was to take people's comments
seriously. Very seriously.
So, when someone would make a rude comment, I would stop and actually talk
to them. Why did they say that? Do they realize how hurtful it was? Do they
understand that fat people don't choose to be that way? What makes them
think it's appropriate to make personal remarks about another person's
appearance? Usually I didn't get further than the first question before the
person slunk off, tail between their legs. But my goal is not to humiliate
in return -- it's to make people see me as a human being, someone with
feelings.
I write this as though I were still fat, and I'm not, any longer. But I
will always be a fat person in a thin person's body, and I will never
forget how that feels.
— Karen I.
October 27, 2002
I have been oses all my life. I constantly battled my brother's little
comments and such not to mention the comments of others. It really got my
down when I was little. Then when I got to high school, I had a reality
check. it doesn't matter what people think of my anymore. i know that I
love me and I know that God loves me and my friends and family love me.
That's all that matters! If someone does not want to accept me for who I
am, heck with them! I dont need them anyways! And as far as people saying
things when I was in pubplic, chances are, I will never see that person
again so why did it matter? they might have said something but they don't
know who I am! I just had to start believing all of this stuff and
reminding myself about the people that really cared about me and things
started getting 100% better! I am not saying things didn't bother me every
once in a while, but I learned how to deal with it. I have since had
surgery and have lost 50 pounds. I am 2 months post op. I know, however,
that when I get thin, I know I am never going to forget what it is like to
be an obese person. I have vowed to myself that I will never be the one who
makes fun of or tries to tell obese people what to do because I have been
through it. I will never forget that!
— sammygirlwpc
October 27, 2002
I do like how all of you handled your situations. So much wisdom and
kindness here.
— faybay
October 27, 2002
faye...my dearest brother-in-law, who never struggled with his weight,
taught me the best comeback to insulting remarks.
'well, tomorrow i will go on a diet & lose weight but, tomorrow u will
still be ugly!' then i would turn my back on them as tho they didnt exist.
sounds dumb i know but it always left the nasty insulter with his/her mouth
hanging open. lol
— sheryl titone
October 28, 2002
Have you also noticed how fat people in movies and on TV get portrayed?
The fat chick in the high school movies that the football team makes fun
of? Or the blind date, where it turns out to be a fat chick? Or the show
fat people eating enormous portions of food-like cramming it in?
Unfortunately, the media is a prime culprit in why people think it is OK to
comment/joke on the weight of overweight people or for radio stations to
make fat jokes. Try making a joke about race, or being a homosexual and
there is an outcry, but for overweight people? It is extremely painful to
the overweight person. I liked the comment from the poster that said they
turn the conversation around and ask "why would you make such a
hurtful comment?" I think that is the best comment.
For me the worse one was when someone asked me when my baby was due. I was
not pregnant. I just glared at them and said flat out "I'm not
pregnant, I'm fat"
— Cindy R.
October 28, 2002
I was sooo ticked a couple weeks ago. My sister and I were walking out of a
casino and a car full of guys yelled "Yeah! FAT chicks RULE har har
har!" They drove really slowly so they could see our reaction. Now
just that day I was happy because I had lost over 50 pounds. When they said
that it took the wind right out of my sails. So what did I do? I ran (yes I
RAN!) after their car with my middle fingers extended. When they saw me
coming they quickly drove away. LOL my sister was so embarrased...oh well!
:o)
— fropunka
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