Question:
What does the Dr. ask your husband.....

What type of questions are asked of your spouse or better half at the first consultation?    — Vicki R. (posted on August 3, 2002)

August 3, 2002
My surgeon/ nurse never spoke to my husband. I went to all my appointments alone but I dont think they would have asked him anything even if he was there. My husband did finally meet the surgeon the morning of my surgery but that was brief and straight to the point. Good Luck!!
   — tn683

August 4, 2002
My husband never met my surgeon...and the only thing my surgeon wanted to know was if my spouse supported me and did talk to me about the possibility of post op divorce issues that seem to crop up. We were already in family counseling due to a problem teen, so I just used that forum in which to address my issues with the surgery with the entire family. I believe it helped my kids understand and helped my husband and I deal with the issues that we all had surrounding surgery and the "aftermath" of surgery. Good luck ~CAE~
   — Mustang

August 4, 2002
The Doctor me with my husband and myself for the informed consent meeting. The Dr. encouraged my husband to come so that he could ask questions and understand the surgery and its risks. The Dr. also wanted to make sure that my husband would be a source of support during post op and wanted him to be aware of what I could eat. I am very thankful that my Dr highly encouraged my husband to come.I am 3 weeeks post op and my husband knows some basic information about surgery and what he can do to help me.
   — Sarah G.

August 4, 2002
My partner came to my first visit with my surgeon... and one other visit that I had at his office. I really just wanted her to hear what I did the first time so she too would have an understanding of things. In addition, I knew that once I was out of surgery the doc would talk to her, so I wanted her familiar with him.. and he with her. She was there with me from the beginning on surgery day and so we saw him again. ON the first visit, after hearing the doc talk and asking my questions, I checked to make sure she didn't have any. I think its great to have some kind of family approach to this if you can. For me, my partner was in all this with me and if she isn't, I might not be very successful. Good luck.
   — Lisa C.

August 4, 2002
MY DR. TOLD MY HUBBY THAT HE WAS "SO GLAD THAT HE HAD COME WITH ME TO SHOW HIS SUPPORT FOR ME." HE ALSO ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ANY CONCERNS OR QUESTIONS. DR. ELIAS TALKED WITH US FOR A WHILE AND TREATED EVERYTHING WE TALKED ABOUT AS IF IT WERE THE MOST PRESSING MATTER OF THE DAY. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED HIM. I ALSO LOVED MY HUSBAND FOR COMING WITH ME AND WANTING TO KNOW EVERYTHING. THE DOCTOR ASKED HIM IN THE HOSPITAL IF HE WAS GOING TO BE HELPING ME WITH MY AFTER CARE. THEN IHE TAUGHT HIM HOW TO CHANGE MY BANDAGES. MY SURGEON WAS A GIFT FROM GOD. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT.
   — SHERRY P.

August 4, 2002
Hi. I noticed that you asked this question twice, so apparently it is very important to you. First of all, this is YOUR surgery and if you prefer to see your surgeon without your spouse present that is OK. Anything at all that you and your surgeon discuss is strictly confidential between the two of you and you should remind your surgeon of this. Second, if YOU want to include your spouse in your consultation, I imagine that your doctor won't ask him anything except, "Do you have questions? Concerns?" As I said before, this is YOUR thing, so the Doc probably won't ask your spouse anything. If your spouse is uncomfortable about being asked anything, help him to relax and not worry about being quizzed. It most likely won't happen. When you meet the Doc, introduce your spouse and say, "He would like to just sit in during the consultation." This is NOT going to be a problem, I promise. Good luck! PS- Is there a particular question that you want/don't want your spouse to discus with your doc? Is he supportive/not supportive? I recommend that you have YOUR questions ready for the Doc, and if you/your spouse feels that he should ask some questions, give him a few of yours to ask.
   — Rebecca T.

August 5, 2002
Hi: I am not sure if you want your husband to attend your consultation. If you do not, by all means take a close friend or relative. If you do want your spouse to attend, I do not believe that your surgeon will ask him anything. I positively wanted my husband to come to the consultation to hear everything that would occur before, during and after the surgery. I knew that my husband had two questions, namely: Would I disappear to nothing, ha ha, and what would happen to the portion of my stomach that was no longer being used. Also, my husband was in favor of my decision to have surgery, so I felt comfortable having him there. My surgeon was great. He spent approximately one hour with us, and treated us with great kindness. The doctor told us he would explain everything, and to feel free to jump in at any time if we had questions. I told him that I did not want to interrupt him, but he said that both of our questions were important, so we should not hesitate to ask. I asked most of the questions, due to extensive research on my part. My husband also asked the questions he had. For myself, although I have only told my husband, daughter and one close friend, I needed the support of my spouse at this meeting. Good luck to you. If your spouse is unsure about this procedure, perhaps meeting with and talking to the surgeon will put his mind at ease.
   — Grace H.

August 5, 2002
I did all the pre-op testing in my home town of Bend, Oregon - the surgeon who did my surgery was not the one who handled my pre-op testing and I went to all of those testings alone. When it came time for the seminar where I met with the surgeon for the first time, my husband came with me - I had surgery 2 1/2 hours away from my home. He went through every step with me and he had quite a few questions. He even met with the psychiatrist with me - she gave him a question/answer sheet to fill out and I had to fill out the same one at seperate times. I think she wanted to see how we answered everything - our answers were almost exact. It was a True or False question sheet and on some questions that didn't really apply to me, we even had written on the side of the sheet the same response - it was kind of cool. My surgeon asked my husband if he had any questions & whatnot but for the most part - he was there for support but it's absolutely up to you & what your desires are...this is your surgery and this is your life so you can absolutely ask for the things you want. Good luck to you.
   — Lisa J.